Loving Daddy needs advice

[blacksheep826]

My family lives in Pennsylvania and I cant seem to find and answer to this question. My wife has a son that I am the only father he has ever known,the biological father has nothing to do with him. My son already says my last name with my wife's(hyphenated) but we didnt tell him this. My question is can we change his last name to mine or legally make his name hyphenated (without having to track down the biological father.....we have no idea where he lives or even if he is in this state) using my wifes and my sons name but adding mine. I would love to adopt him , but in all honesty; right now we cant afford the cost of doing that. I would apprecciate any help in this matter.
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

[Silverplum]

Originally Posted by blacksheep826

My family lives in Pennsylvania and I cant seem to find and answer to this question. My wife has a son that I am the only father he has ever known,the biological father has nothing to do with him. My son already says my last name with my wife's(hyphenated) but we didnt tell him this. My question is can we change his last name to mine or legally make his name hyphenated (without having to track down the biological father.....we have no idea where he lives or even if he is in this state) using my wifes and my sons name but adding mine. I would love to adopt him , but in all honesty; right now we cant afford the cost of doing that. I would apprecciate any help in this matter.
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Absolutely not.

[lost123]

I did this in MD. All I had to do is fill out a name change request form. I said it was for social reasons. I had to put an ad in the paper for 1 time stating the request. The Bfather never paid any support. My child was 5 at the time. Cost all of 120.00 at the most. Placing the ad was the most expensive part. My friend also did it and her children were teenagers. Their father paid support and still doesn't just doesn't get visitations because of the drugs.
Good luck. You can get the form from the court house.

[AHA]

Originally Posted by lost123

I did this in MD.

When did PA and MD become the same state?

[IsabellaSoriano]

Originally Posted by AHA

When did PA and MD become the same state?

about the same time UK, australia, canada and mexico became a part of the US.
sorry, i couldn't resist

[lost123]

Didn't say they were. Just said what I did. It might be worth him checking into. It was an easy fix in MD. It "might" be just as easy in PA.

[cyjeff]

No NO NO NO NO!!!!!!

You cannot steal a man's child by changing the that child's name to yours.

You are not the child's legal father. Therefore, you have zero input into the child's name and/or upbringing.

If it is too expensive to adopt the child, then you have to live with things the way they are.

By the way, unless you want dad to win a custody case, have the kid stop calling you Daddy TODAY.

[lost123]

Just try to fill out the name change papers. Say that you are not trying to take away rights. You just want the mother and child to have the same last name for social reasons. If the father wants to contest it he can. He will have all the right to. As long as he is not paying support and you do not know where he lives this can be done. Name changes occur everyday. All I had to do is post it in the paper once./ read up on name changes in your state. To the gentleman who said NONONO. This has nothing to do about taking away a mans child. If he wants to be a father he can step up to the plate. Which he has not done.

I did the name change not to take away rights but to have my daughter feel the same as her parents and siblings. Which it worked and the father didn't care to show up. We didn't even have to go to court. The judge did it by mail. All we had to do was file the paperwork at the courthouse. You don't even need a lawyer. Try it yourself first. Also, has a paternity test ever been done or was she married at the time?

[Zigner]

Lost -

If you are going to give state-specific advice, then back it up with cites. Tell our OP EXACTLY how to go about committing perjury when stating to the court that the FATHER of the child cannot be located for service.

And, to the OP: The title of this thread is incorrect. You are NOT the "loving daddy"...you are the loving step-daddy.

[AHA]

Originally Posted by lost123

Didn't say they were. Just said what I did. It might be worth him checking into. It was an easy fix in MD. It "might" be just as easy in PA.

Well, unless you know the law FOR SURE in the state where OP lives, don't respond with info that could give false hope in OP's serious situation!

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by AHA

Well, unless you know the law FOR SURE in the state where OP lives, don't respond with info that could give false hope in OP's serious situation!

I dunno...we tell people that it absolutely cannot be done. I think its fair for a poster who has actually done it to let people know that they were able to do it, and therefore its worth further research.

[infamous_insane]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

I dunno...we tell people that it absolutely cannot be done. I think its fair for a poster who has actually done it to let people know that they were able to do it, and therefore its worth further research.

Ahhh, that is very refreshing. never have i heard better advice here. thank you.

[infamous_insane]

Originally Posted by Zigner

Lost -

If you are going to give state-specific advice, then back it up with cites. Tell our OP EXACTLY how to go about committing perjury when stating to the court that the FATHER of the child cannot be located for service.

And, to the OP: The title of this thread is incorrect. You are NOT the "loving daddy"...you are the loving step-daddy.

a good way for him to prove the father cannot be found, is ...... taking out an add in the paper. Sometimes bio fathers really couldnt care less, and if he did care i think its fair to say the child would have his name and even the very slightest interest in his child.

and to avoid posting a seperate reply to NO NO NO ...
i think its good that this fatherless child does have a man in his life who cares enough to try to make him part of a family ( which im sure we can all agree is important to development and well being). stop being so fast to scold.

[infamous_insane]

Originally Posted by cyjeff

No NO NO NO NO!!!!!!

You cannot steal a man's child by changing the that child's name to yours.

You are not the child's legal father. Therefore, you have zero input into the child's name and/or upbringing.

If it is too expensive to adopt the child, then you have to live with things the way they are.

By the way, unless you want dad to win a custody case, have the kid stop calling you Daddy TODAY.

I cant help it, that is under a very unreasonable assumption the dad wants anything to do with the mother or child. the step dad does, and the kid is lucky someone loves him. so im all for the kid having someone to call daddy, even if it is a slight stretch of the truth.,

[AHA]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

I dunno...we tell people that it absolutely cannot be done. I think its fair for a poster who has actually done it to let people know that they were able to do it, and therefore its worth further research.

Ok, I didn't know that the importance of state had been abolished from the site. Good to know.