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Married couple looking for answers about Military dependant

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Marcusp11

Junior Member
My wife had a baby out of wedlock in the state of texas and has been raising the child by herself for 5 years now. The biological father of the child is in the military and obligated to pay child support. He does not see the child, visit, communicate or anything by his own doing. i married my wife 3 years ago and have been the only father figure that she knows. We have tried to make contact with the father to give him updates about her our address phone number etc but he doesn't respond or he would have "agents" send misc emails saying he doesn't want anything to do with the child. We have relocated to a overseas location and the child needs to have her passport updated in order to leave the country but we cannot find/locate/contact the biological father. Is there any way that i can legally adopt my stepdaughter without his consent, stop him from paying child support and have full custody/support of my child. Can anyone that has been in a similar situation or has advice comment. thanks
 


Proserpina

Senior Member
My wife had a baby out of wedlock in the state of texas and has been raising the child by herself for 5 years now. The biological father of the child is in the military and obligated to pay child support. He does not see the child, visit, communicate or anything by his own doing. i married my wife 3 years ago and have been the only father figure that she knows. We have tried to make contact with the father to give him updates about her our address phone number etc but he doesn't respond or he would have "agents" send misc emails saying he doesn't want anything to do with the child. We have relocated to a overseas location and the child needs to have her passport updated in order to leave the country but we cannot find/locate/contact the biological father. Is there any way that i can legally adopt my stepdaughter without his consent, stop him from paying child support and have full custody/support of my child. Can anyone that has been in a similar situation or has advice comment. thanks


Your wife needs to speak to an attorney.

I'm hoping your wife is following the law concerning relocating the child out of the country.

Either Dad needs to be located, or Mom needs to obtain sole legal custody so she can get the child's passport renewed.

Once that's been done, you can both sit down and discuss a stepparent adoption. But first things first.
 

Marcusp11

Junior Member
Yes everything is legit as far as the child leaving the US its just traveling out of the current country in the near future because of the expiration date on the passport. And once sole custody is or if sole custody is given to mom we can then process the adoption paperwork if we so choose correct?
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Yes everything is legit as far as the child leaving the US its just traveling out of the current country in the near future because of the expiration date on the passport.
I'm actually talking about giving notification to the State and/or Dad - is that what you're talking about?


And once sole custody is or if sole custody is given to mom we can then process the adoption paperwork if we so choose correct?
Incorrect.

Adoption will STILL need Dad to be notified. Hence the need for an attorney.
 

Marcusp11

Junior Member
The state does know of her move and we attempted to contact the father and let him know but again we cannot get in contact with him at all. We have tried calling emails facebook myspace heck i even had her put a ad in the paper and this guy is still a ghost. so all in all attorney is the best and only option that we have? i apologize if it may seem like i keep going on and on in circles but i am just trying to make sure that i fully understand this. Now with that attorney, would it have to be an attorney from the state of texas or would any attorney suffice?
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
The state does know of her move and we attempted to contact the father and let him know but again we cannot get in contact with him at all. We have tried calling emails facebook myspace heck i even had her put a ad in the paper and this guy is still a ghost. so all in all attorney is the best and only option that we have? i apologize if it may seem like i keep going on and on in circles but i am just trying to make sure that i fully understand this. Now with that attorney, would it have to be an attorney from the state of texas or would any attorney suffice?

An attorney where Mom and kiddo live - that's best.

I know, I know - it might seem that with Dad being absent (except he's not) and having no contact (except child support counts) this should be something of a slam-dunk. Honestly, it's not. If he objects, there's at least a decent chance that this stepparent adoption just won't happen.

But, yes, get yourselves to an attorney asap. You really don't want to run the risk of this being overturned on a technicality, not least if you're halfway around the world.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
An attorney where Mom and kiddo live - that's best.I know, I know - it might seem that with Dad being absent (except he's not) and having no contact (except child support counts) this should be something of a slam-dunk. Honestly, it's not. If he objects, there's at least a decent chance that this stepparent adoption just won't happen.

But, yes, get yourselves to an attorney asap. You really don't want to run the risk of this being overturned on a technicality, not least if you're halfway around the world.
Normally I would agree HOWEVER if they are on military orders in a foreign country, then the court with jurisdiction may still be the court where custody/support and such was decided. If that is the military HOME STATE then that may be where the adoption should take place. There are a few variables that are unknown.

In what state were the court orders for support? What is mom's home state for military purposes? How long has that been the home state? If they are just in a foreign country for NON MILITARY reasons and have been there for more than two years, then what is the father's home state for military purposes? Where is dad stationed?

The military may be able to help track down dad.
 

Marcusp11

Junior Member
The baby was born in Texas and the custody/support paperwork was also drawn in texas. moms home state is VA has been since enlistment and the relocation out of country is for military duties. we tried going through the military to contact him and still got no response even sent him emails through his military email address still no answers and if we did get an answer it was from his "agent".
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
The baby was born in Texas and the custody/support paperwork was also drawn in texas. moms home state is VA has been since enlistment and the relocation out of country is for military duties. we tried going through the military to contact him and still got no response even sent him emails through his military email address still no answers and if we did get an answer it was from his "agent".
I would guess that you need an adoption attorney in TX (although it wouldn't hurt to have a quick consultation in VA). That probably works to your advantage because termination of parental rights seems to be easier in TX than elsewhere.

As always, make sure that you're comfortable with all the consequences of adoption:
- If you and your wife divorce, you could end up paying her child support if she gets custody.
- If you and your wife divorce, your wife could end up paying you child support if you get custody.
- If you adopt, the payments for child support from the current Dad would stop.

People often jump into adoptions without understanding everything that is involved.
 

Marcusp11

Junior Member
Understood. All in all get an attorney through texas, now my next question will she have to be present for this? As far as the adoption i am fully aware, excepting, and responsible enough to handle if any, all of the consequences without rebuttal.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Getting full/sole custody would be much faster & cheaper than an adoption and would allow mom to get the passport issue taken care of.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Getting full/sole custody would be much faster & cheaper than an adoption and would allow mom to get the passport issue taken care of.


Um..wadr, didn't I already cover that in post #2?

(I'm okay being chopped liver. After all, it IS me, and you know how I feel about liver :D )
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Um..wadr, didn't I already cover that in post #2?

(I'm okay being chopped liver. After all, it IS me, and you know how I feel about liver :D )
You absolutely did...but then the thread took off in the adoption-direction, so I wanted to bring that back in to focus ;)
 

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