Married mother,husband not the father

[Sorrowful End]

What is the name of your state? California

My question concerns the birth record of an adoptive child where the mother was married and the husband was not the father. My fiancee divorced his exwife after learning that the child they put up for adoption was not his. He had a vasectomy and his Ex became pregnant two months afterwards, she denied having an affair. However, she wanted to put the child up for an open adoption, which he agreed to since they could not afford another child (thus him having the vasectomy). When the child was born it was obviously not his (the child was Hispanic and neither of them are). She still denied an affair and the adoption proceeded. The marriage disentigrated afterwards and in anger she blurted out the truth. Now it is bothering him that he is on the baby's birth record. He was wanting to have it removed somehow and notify the adoptive parents. On a whim I went on California's Vital Records site and did a search and was stunned to find the baby's information. However, the baby has been listed twice, as if he was given two birth records. One has my fiancee's name listed as the last name and the other has his Exwife's last name listed, as if she wasn't married. Could she have had his name removed without his knowledge? Since this was an open adoption it would have been obvious to the adoptive parents that the child was not his. Could they have insisted on a new birth record before adopting so the adoption wouldn't be in question? If she did have it changed what procedures would she have had to follow to do so? If his name is now not on the final record could he obtain a copy of both records? And lastly, would the records show the date they were issued? I know this is a lot of questions to answer but any help anyone can give would be very appreciated. Thank you in advance.

 

[nextwife]

I'm an adoptive parent. My child's birth certificate now lists my husband and I as her parents. Neither bioparent is her parent. What is the point of digging up a TERMINATED parental right with the intent of somehow further terminating it?

A. Child is adopted- any parental right are terminated.
B. Child has new parents, their ADOPTIVE parents are their parents.

So, as he never had a DNA test, he has no further rights regarding this child to compel testing, nothing can now be done. He at one point had that right, he no longer does. The child was born of the marriage and not disproved by paternity testing.

Let it go!

 

[Sorrowful End]

With all due respect I pointed out that the adoption was an OPEN one and the adoptive parents were very OPEN about future contact when the child was of age. My fiancee is not looking to exercise or terminate a "right" but rather correct a WRONG. How would the adoptee feel if THEY decided to search out the bio parents in the future, which I would think would be rather stressful even if it was something they were willingly doing, only to discover that there was deceit involved? Why should my fiancee have to be put in the position of telling this boy that he is not his biological father? Also, I would think that for medical reasons alone the adoptive parents, or their attorney, would want to know this. If for any reason this child, God forbid, were to develop a medical disorder that required the bio parents help or input, valuable time would be WASTED by them looking for the WRONG person. This is not someone "hanging onto" something and unwilling to let go, as a matter of fact....he is TRYING to let go. He has NO interest in knowing this child OR developing a relationship with him, the child would only be a reminder of the pain his wife caused him nor would he be so CRUEL as to consider himself "above" the adoptive parents. As a matter of fact...he is TRYING to show them some respect by letting them have ALL the information about THEIR child. I came on here for LEGAL advice...NOT moral! IF he were to discover that he was removed from the birth record I can assure you he would, as you put it, LET IT GO.

 

[Looking Around]

I don't know how this could be done if it can.

But I want to point out something very important as well.

If you do pursue this thing, and your husband is found not to be the biological father, depending on the time frame and such, the actual natural father may need to be notified and informed and may try to sue the adoptive parents for custody when he finds out.

The ex-wife is a devious B|T{H if I must say so. People that do things like that should go to prison.

A friend of mine actual had this happen to him, he sued the adoptive parents for custody of his child and won. He spent the first year of his child's life wondering if he would ever know her.

 

[Sorrowful End]

There is no doubt to him he is not the natural father. The fact that he had a vasectomy two months before she got pregnant coupled with her eventual admission and the baby's obvious ethnic looks leads this to be relatively certain. This occured ten years ago, that is why he is concerned. Since it was an open adoption and the adoptive parents seemed to be accepting of the idea that their child may want to eventually meet his biological parents he is extremely concerned that in 8 years, or perhaps sooner, he may try to. My fiancee is VERY concerned of the impact it would have on the boy to learn that his mother is the type of person she is and that he isnt the father. Who knows who really is, apparantly she was less than faithful with more than one man. He feels that the adoptive parents should know and be the ones to decide how to handle it. The reason he wants to know about the birth record is not to put the legality of the child's adoption at risk, we are mortified at that thought, that is why he wants to check the facts out BEFORE he approaches the parents. If it is discovered that she somehow had him removed from the birth record without his knowledge, and it was legally done, he has no desire to contact them at all since it would be obvious to him that they were already aware of their child's true biological parentage. But if he IS still on the record, or was removed illegally, he wants to approach them PRIVATELY and then let them decide how to proceed. We would definitely honor whatever decision they made, as long as they we aware we are pretty sure that when the child came of age they would not let him seek out my fiancee. They know their child best and would know better than anyone how to tell him. We just feel they, the parents, have a right to the truth for their child's medical and emotional welfare. As far as her being a devious B***H, you have no idea. That is just the tip of the iceberg. The sad thing is how she manipulates and feeds off the emotions of the two children she had with my fiancee...the children are so screwed up it isn't funny. And yes, she should have gone to prison for all she has done. It's a crime to destroy people the way she does.

 

[stealth2]

Has your fiance spoken with an attorney?

 

[nextwife]

Many adoptive AND biokids grow up without having any access to family medical history. My daughter cannot access maternal nor paternal history. My husband's dad died just before he was born and the family lived under communist control so were not accessable. Another person I know lost most all her family in the Holocaust and has no family medical history other than the immediate relative. It's not the end of the world- a whole lot of folks don't know familial medical histories, even if not adopted. Do you know how many boyfriends and husbands who are NOT the biodad are on kid's birth certificates as the legal (and bio) father?

It is sure not worth risking this child's safety and staabilty of staying with their FAMILY that they know and love so your guy can prove something about how decietful the ex is.

What is MOST important is this child's future security with their current family. Does he want to take a chance on upsetting this child's life and potentially disrupting the adoption? Especially as he does NOT want this child anyway?

If he had wanted to disprove paternity he should have done so back then.

 

[Sorrowful End]

Has your fiance spoken with an attorney?

No he hasn't, he really does not want any attorneys involved because he is not out to do anything legally. He wants to be able to honestly tell the parents that he has not consulted one just so they are assured he has NO intentions of doing anything to put this child at risk, that all he wants is for them to know that he is not the bio father so that when/if the time comes and that this child chooses to seek out his bio parents he will not be harmed by locating the wrong man and if there ever was a medical emergency they wouldnt waste time looking for the wrong person. What they choose to do from that point is their decision. He will no longer be involved unless THEY choose to do something about the mess but I have the feeling they will be just grateful for the information and leave it at that IF he is still on the record, if not then they would obviously already know the truth and he would not have to disturb their lives whatsover.

 

[Sorrowful End]

It is sure not worth risking this child's safety and staabilty of staying with their FAMILY that they know and love so your guy can prove something about how decietful the ex is.

He does NOT have to prove ANYTHING to ANYONE...everyone that counts to him already knows how she is. And I once AGAIN point out that the adoption was an OPEN one...therefore THESE parents were OPEN about information being exchanged at ANY point and time. THEY welcomed and WANTED to know ALL that they could about THEIR child. Not ALL adoptive parents want everything sealed and closed and obviously they did not. Also, I once AGAIN point out that by the time he knew the truth, that the exwife admitted to it, the point for him to try and do anything about it legally was long past. AND it would have not mattered to him anyway since he has NO desire to legally do ANYTHING. SOME people in this world DO have good intentions and he is definitely one of them. I dont see how the child's FAMILY would be in jeopardy unless THEY chose to legally pursue it. IF he were to find out he WAS on the record he wouldnt do ANYTHING other than inform them that he is not the bio father so THEY have ALL the information about THEIR child that they chose to OPENLY adopt. IF he was to discover he was NOT and he was removed illegally he would inform them of that also but NOT do ANYTHING other than inform them. IF he were to discover that he was removed legally then there would be no reason for him to contact them whatsoever. AND just because SOME adoptees dont know everything nor have their complete medical history means NOTHING because sometimes people DO get ill and he would not want to be responsible if he was WRONGLY looked for and it caused this FAMILY more suffering when he could have done something to prevent it. Thats like saying that not ALL children that are unrestrained in motor vehicles get hurt because some don't but SOME do...that is why they require seatbelts....to PREVENT harm in case there is one!