my fiance wants to adopt my daughter

What is the name of your state? NY/SK

I am engaged to a wonderful guy. He loves my daughter and he is very good to her (she's 3 mos. old). My daughters father has NEVER sent child support. doesn't write or even call. Last time I called him he just screamed at me....but mentioned that if he EVER found out the child was his he would try to take her from me. He is an alcoholic . My parents have been helping me care for my daughter. They like my fiance' very much. But My daughter also has her fathers last name. I don't know what I am going to do. Everytime I try to make contact with her father he turns hostile on me. I never asked for child support. Just that emotionally should his daughter in the future want to talk to her daddy that he open up to her and be there as an emotional support. What kind of paperwork would I need to expect when my fiance adopts her? Would her father need to give up his paternal rights? I mean he does NOTHING what so ever. I take my child to the hospital and feed,clothe, and bathe her. He has never even seen his child once. Will this adoption process be difficult? Because my daughter's father does nothing for her doesn't that automatically mean that I already have sole custody of her? Would I need some kind of document proving that? please help me.... I get married this november and we will be in NY when my fiance adopts her.

[Seanscott]

This is similar to what we are going through. Let me make some suggestions to you -

First - You need to find out the amount of time it takes for a baby to be declared "abandoned" in your state. Some states say 6 months, some say a year.

Second - Paternity must be established. If the father had his name put on the birth certificate, the court recognizes him as the legal father. If not, you may have to get a DNA test.

Third - Quit contacting the bio-father. If you want your new husband to adopt your daughter, (and biodad fights it) you will all have to go to court and biodad will have to explain why he never contacted you. It will definitely be in your favor if you can truthfully claim you don't have any communication with him.

After you are married, your husband will file a petition to adopt with your consent. That will start the ball rolling toward termination of parental rights for the biodad. He WILL receive a copy of the petition and will have a chance to voluntarily give up his rights and consent to the adoption. If he refuses, you will have to ask the court to terminate. In all states abandonment is a reason. This means failure to visit and/or pay court ordered support. In some states, criminal history or acute alcoholism are reasons too.

Many states require a one-year marriage before they will accept a stepparent adoption. Some say 6 months. The adoption, even if uncontested can take 6 months, so your husband might as well
file the petition shortly after you're married.

In my case, we lived together for 4 years. Had a paternity hearing on Tuesday, got married on Thursday, went to a lawyer to file the petition on Friday.

If the biodad is claiming he is not the father, then of course, you are considered to have full custody.

The adoption should not be too difficult if biodad consents. If he fights it - you may well have a very stressful situation.

You will have to have a home study and both of you undergo a background check.

Keep this in mind - The court will do whatever is in the child's best interest. I've had to tell myself that about 1,000 times!

I hope I've helped you a little. Wishing you all the best.

Seanscott