My husband wants to adopt my sons

[NicoleW]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Idaho

I have two sons from a previous relationship (ages 4 and 3). Their biological father is not in the picture and hasn't seen them for almost two years. He has never paid child support and doesn't attempt to contact them. My husband wants to adopt my boys. They call him dad and he treats them like they are his sons. We are a family, but we want the boys to share our last name and my husband wants to be their legal father. My question is, even though my ex is not and has not been in the picture for years, do I still have to have his permission for my husband to adopt my sons? I have not yet hired an attorney to begin the adoption process and I don't want to attempt to contact my ex before I know if I even need him to terminate his rights. I have a feeling he might try to play "daddy" if he knows that we want my husband to adopt. I have done some research, but a lot of what I have found is contradictory. I have read that after six months of no contact and no physical, emotional, and financial support that his rights can be terminated by the court. What are his rights at this point? Should I try to contact him and let him know of my plans? Is there any way I can begin the adoption process without a lawyer and then hire one once we want to go to court and make it legal? Thank you for your time!

[HomeGuru]

Originally Posted by NicoleW

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Idaho

I have two sons from a previous relationship (ages 4 and 3). Their biological father is not in the picture and hasn't seen them for almost two years. He has never paid child support and doesn't attempt to contact them. My husband wants to adopt my boys. They call him dad and he treats them like they are his sons. We are a family, but we want the boys to share our last name and my husband wants to be their legal father. My question is, even though my ex is not and has not been in the picture for years, do I still have to have his permission for my husband to adopt my sons? I have not yet hired an attorney to begin the adoption process and I don't want to attempt to contact my ex before I know if I even need him to terminate his rights. I have a feeling he might try to play "daddy" if he knows that we want my husband to adopt. I have done some research, but a lot of what I have found is contradictory. I have read that after six months of no contact and no physical, emotional, and financial support that his rights can be terminated by the court. What are his rights at this point? Should I try to contact him and let him know of my plans? Is there any way I can begin the adoption process without a lawyer and then hire one once we want to go to court and make it legal? Thank you for your time!

**A: unless the bio Dad's parental rights are terminated, no chance. And do not play attorney with this sort of stuff.

[NicoleW]

Thanks. I agree that I probably should hire an attorney. It's well worth it. I was kind of vague in my initial post. I have been doing some research today and I read on docstoc.com that in Idaho a person's parental rights can be terminated if they have had their rights terminated before. I am almost positive that he had his parental rights terminated recently in regards to another child he has. I just want to be able to get his rights terminated without having to contact him in any way. I hope this makes more sense!

[proud_parent]

Originally Posted by NicoleW

Thanks. I agree that I probably should hire an attorney. It's well worth it. I was kind of vague in my initial post. I have been doing some research today and I read on docstoc.com that in Idaho a person's parental rights can be terminated if they have had their rights terminated before. I am almost positive that he had his parental rights terminated recently in regards to another child he has. I just want to be able to get his rights terminated without having to contact him in any way. I hope this makes more sense!

That's not going to happen. He is entitled to due process of law.

Read here:
[url=http://www3.state.id.us/cgi-bin/newidst?sctid=160200007.K]Idaho Statutes[/url]

[NicoleW]

Okay, that makes sense. It is all rather confusing, though! So, does this mean he can have his rights terminated by the court, but he has to know about it? If that is the case, what would happen if he decided all of a sudden to want to be a part of the kids' lives? Will it still be considered abandonment or neglect for the past two years that he hasn't had any contact or paid child support?

[proud_parent]

Originally Posted by NicoleW

Okay, that makes sense. It is all rather confusing, though! So, does this mean he can have his rights terminated by the court, but he has to know about it? If that is the case, what would happen if he decided all of a sudden to want to be a part of the kids' lives? Will it still be considered abandonment or neglect for the past two years that he hasn't had any contact or paid child support?

You're talking about terminating someone's constitutional rights. You can't expect to file the petition, serve notice, and have the court simply rubber stamp your request. That is why you have been advised to hire an attorney if you are even considering such an undertaking.

If you attempt an involuntary termination, a trial court must decide whether termination is justified based on clear and convincing evidence. The court also must find that termination is in the child's best interests. Even if the father were to consent voluntarily to the termination of his rights, you don't want to go about this without counsel.

Furthermore, if the absent parent makes a reasonable effort to reconnect with and establish a relationship with the child, the court will (barring aggravating circumstances, such as the parent having been convicted of a felony involving serious injury to the child or a sibling) give him/her every opportunity to do so before terminating rights.

[NicoleW]

If you attempt an involuntary termination, a trial court must decide whether termination is justified based on clear and convincing evidence. The court also must find that termination is in the child's best interests. Even if the father were to consent voluntarily to the termination of his rights, you don't want to go about this without counsel.

Thank you. This makes much more sense now. Since I live in Idaho and he lives in Washington, which state laws will apply to this case? What happens if I cannot locate him? The last I heard, he is on drugs and doesn't have a permanent residence.

[proud_parent]

Originally Posted by NicoleW

Thank you. This makes much more sense now. Since I live in Idaho and he lives in Washington, which state laws will apply to this case? What happens if I cannot locate him? The last I heard, he is on drugs and doesn't have a permanent residence.

These are questions to ask your attorney. Service by publication may be a possibility, but you would generally be expected to make dilligent efforts to locate the father and attempt personal service first.