Need Advice....friend Wants Me To Adopt Her Unborn Baby!!!!

[nengdall]

What is the name of your state? OREGON

Good evening everyone!!! I work for a non-profit organization that help young single expectant young women. We offer services to them to help get their lives back on track. I have been a mentor for one of the girls there for the past several months, she is due the begining of May and has asked me to adopt her little unborn baby. She is POSITIVE about her decision as she does not want to parent a child right now. She wants to finish nursing school and she knows that she does not have the means to parent at this time in her life. HELP**************What do I need to do to legally prepare for this? Do I need to hire an attorney, do an adoption homestudy, and what all else? I am VERY excited about all of this but logistically, my brain is keeping my heart from floating on cloud 9. Any advise that anyone can offer would be greatly appreciated...Nicole

[nextwife]

The rules under which this organization operates may preclude you from being allowed to adopt the child of a party you are counseling. While adoption may indeed be the approproiate plan for this mother at this time, I would caution you that it may be highly inappropriate for you to be the one to adopt her child. Do talk to your managment, and get her an attorney who can help her select a birthmother and go through the process. If your organizations mission and charter are NOT incompatable with you adopting the child of your client, then I'd suggest you each have your own counsel.

This link will take you to the Orgeon adoption statute summary:
[url]http://www.adoptionsolutions.com/general/state%20laws/or_law.htm[/url]

[BelizeBreeze]

Not to mention that there is a father out there somewhere and HE may not want this child adopted out.

Oh what a tangled web....

[nextwife]

Yup, that too.

[nengdall]

Thank you for all who responded...It looks like I need to fill in the blanks a little better. The non-profit organization that I work for is a voluntary position...I do not receive a paycheck. I have talked with the board of directors and they support this adoption. As for the father, we have met and he is willing to sign the TPR papers. He knows that the baby's bmom nor he are prepared to parent at this stage in their lives. I hope this clears up any confusion. Thank you for taking the time to respond.

[rmet4nzkx]

This is totally unethical whether or not your organization approves it or even if you are just a volunteer. Women with unplanned pregnancies are under a great deal of stress and their counselors should never be an a position to profit from their distress. If you want to adopt a child, then go through an agency, what you are describing is predatory behavior even if that isn't your intent or the intent of the agency. Even if you follow all the legal adoption rules and adopt the child, by having this relationship with her, she could come back in the future, even after the adoption is final and get her child back, claiming duress. I'm sorry if this isn't what you want to hear. I understand how you might get caught up in this. What is the name of this agency?

[nengdall]

The non-profit organization that I have been volunteering for is a home for expextant young women. They live in the home and are provided their basic needs. I am NOT a councelor....I am a mentor. I take them grocery shopping, doctor appointments, the movies, shopping. I am in other words their friend.

[BelizeBreeze]

The issue of whether or not your organization approves of this adoption, whether or not it would be a conflict of interest or even unethical is really moot at this point.

[nengdall]

With all of the info given**************what are your personal thoughts on this issue?

[rmet4nzkx]

What is the name of your non-profit home for un-wed mothers?
I called several Oregon homes and none allowed such adoptions, most likely you would not pass the homestudy. Also, you must go through the state, adoption facilitators are not allowed in Oregon.

[stealth2]

Sorry, but it's a bit off to be mentoring this young woman as well as planning to adopt her baby. I would advise you to remove yourself from this situation.