Need advice whether to pursue adoption

[Lullabye]

What is the name of your state? Ohio. I posted before but I don't see it anywhere, so rather than type it all out again, I'll just ask this:
The mother and father were young and stupid. Never married, lived together, used drugs, had sex, got pregnant, had baby,talked about straightening up, never did, made another baby. Lots of fighting in the relationship, physical and mental, numerous arrests, he was barred from the apartment complex, etc., both were depressed, self medicating, ended up with the 21 year old mother commiting suicide 3 years ago, the father, age 23,( who had been having many mental problems since age of puberty) went completely berserk, spent 5000. of the children's social security on drugs, destroyed the mobile home I had provide him to live in, and had to be probated into Psychiatric care. Diagnosed as bipolar. he was prescribed meds, and released into the care of his aunt.
The two babies were about to become wards of the state with mother deceased and no father established. (He did sign birth certificates and gave them his name though) As the paternal grandmother I paid 1,200. to an attorney for my son to establish paternity and hoped he would get it together. It didn't happen, he walked away from it (and them) and left me having to come up with a quick $800 more for my own lawyer to pursue custody. Then comes other grandmother to fight me for custody-that done, I have custody, the other grandmother and I worked out visitation, things settle down a little. Meanwhile there's been no contact from my son, the children's father, who now resides with an aunt. 2 years have gone by and he's seems to be doing better, he's working atleast. The children, ages 2 and 3 are doing well, here in our home as they have been since the beginning. Now his aunt says he is saving all his money, has already seen an attorney and is going to take them away. He's angry that I never allowed him to visit. This is the truth-he has never requested to visit. Never called, sent a letter, anything, in two years. He is an emotional rollercoaster and the kids don't need to be put on that ride. I want him to do well and recover, but he walked away from the chance to be their dad, and kids aren't something you can take out of the drawer when you get in the mood to play daddy.
What is your advise? He will be better /and worse as time goes by, I don't want the babies to have to deal with him pulling them out of here when the mood strikes him. Should I pursue adoption? Will it go through? I know he will contest it. Does he have any say since he is not established as their father, has never paid any kind of support to them, has literally abandoned them for two years? What's my next move from a legal standpoint? Please advise~

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Lullabye

What is the name of your state? Ohio. I posted before but I don't see it anywhere, so rather than type it all out again, I'll just ask this:
The mother and father were young and stupid. Never married, lived together, used drugs, had sex, got pregnant, had baby,talked about straightening up, never did, made another baby. Lots of fighting in the relationship, physical and mental, numerous arrests, he was barred from the apartment complex, etc., both were depressed, self medicating, ended up with the 21 year old mother commiting suicide 3 years ago, the father, age 23,( who had been having many mental problems since age of puberty) went completely berserk, spent 5000. of the children's social security on drugs, destroyed the mobile home I had provide him to live in, and had to be probated into Psychiatric care. Diagnosed as bipolar. he was prescribed meds, and released into the care of his aunt.
The two babies were about to become wards of the state with mother deceased and no father established. (He did sign birth certificates and gave them his name though) As the paternal grandmother I paid 1,200. to an attorney for my son to establish paternity and hoped he would get it together. It didn't happen, he walked away from it (and them) and left me having to come up with a quick $800 more for my own lawyer to pursue custody. Then comes other grandmother to fight me for custody-that done, I have custody, the other grandmother and I worked out visitation, things settle down a little. Meanwhile there's been no contact from my son, the children's father, who now resides with an aunt. 2 years have gone by and he's seems to be doing better, he's working atleast. The children, ages 2 and 3 are doing well, here in our home as they have been since the beginning. Now his aunt says he is saving all his money, has already seen an attorney and is going to take them away. He's angry that I never allowed him to visit. This is the truth-he has never requested to visit. Never called, sent a letter, anything, in two years. He is an emotional rollercoaster and the kids don't need to be put on that ride. I want him to do well and recover, but he walked away from the chance to be their dad, and kids aren't something you can take out of the drawer when you get in the mood to play daddy.
What is your advise? He will be better /and worse as time goes by, I don't want the babies to have to deal with him pulling them out of here when the mood strikes him. Should I pursue adoption? Will it go through? I know he will contest it. Does he have any say since he is not established as their father, has never paid any kind of support to them, has literally abandoned them for two years? What's my next move from a legal standpoint? Please advise~

I recommend consulting an attorney. Adoption might very well be the best route, but that could be difficult to accomplish without his consent.

[Lullabye]

Oh, I appreciate that point, I have an appointment for tomorrow morning, just getting anxious as to what they'll tell me. That's why I am asking here. WHY will it be difficult though, when the adoption laws in Ohio say:

The father must be contacted if:
If the child was conceived or born while he was married to the mother (NO)

If he is the adoptive father (NO)

If he has established paternity (NO)

The putative father" (NO, he never signed up for that)

Any agency or person having permanent custody" (NO, that's me)

The court having jurisdiction to determine custody" ?...

won't this be seen as abandonment, since there's been no contact in two years? The court gave me custody with the understanding that I was not permitting visitation by him, whom they have seen as unfit...why would they then ask his permission? (thank you for the response)

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Lullabye

Oh, I appreciate that point, I have an appointment for tomorrow morning, just getting anxious as to what they'll tell me. That's why I am asking here. WHY will it be difficult though, when the adoption laws in Ohio say:

The father must be contacted if:
If the child was conceived or born while he was married to the mother (NO)

If he is the adoptive father (NO)

If he has established paternity (NO)

The putative father" (NO, he never signed up for that)

Any agency or person having permanent custody" (NO, that's me)

The court having jurisdiction to determine custody" ?...

won't this be seen as abandonment, since there's been no contact in two years? The court gave me custody with the understanding that I was not permitting visitation by him, whom they have seen as unfit...why would they then ask his permission? (thank you for the response)

"Putative father" may not require him to have signed up for the registry. If you deny his paternity you may also be complicating things for yourself as well. If he isn't the dad...you aren't the grandparent......

However, its possible that you can get his rights involuntarily terminated due to the fact that he was found unfit and has not seen the children in two years.