Need help please on an adoption issue

[Mystic_Night]

What is the name of your state? Oklahoma

I am a 31 year old woman, married happlily now for 2 years but can not have children it seems. My sister and her fiance have agreed to concieve a child for us. My husband has contacted a lawyer from around here and he told him that it could cost us $5000 for the paper work alone! I am wondering if maybe my loving husband explained our situation wrongly and may have got a wrong price. I mean if my sister who obviously is family is willing to give me a child, then why would it cost so much? Its not like we want to buy a baby. I also need the steps required to make this happen. I and my sister would really like to have it all done before the child is born. It would be much harder on her and the baby if it isnt handed over to me and my husband from the get go I think.

Thanks for the input or advice that any of you can give,
Mystic Night

 

[Gracie3787]

What is the name of your state? Oklahoma

I am a 31 year old woman, married happlily now for 2 years but can not have children it seems. My sister and her fiance have agreed to concieve a child for us. My husband has contacted a lawyer from around here and he told him that it could cost us $5000 for the paper work alone! I am wondering if maybe my loving husband explained our situation wrongly and may have got a wrong price. I mean if my sister who obviously is family is willing to give me a child, then why would it cost so much? Its not like we want to buy a baby. I also need the steps required to make this happen. I and my sister would really like to have it all done before the child is born. It would be much harder on her and the baby if it isnt handed over to me and my husband from the get go I think.

Thanks for the input or advice that any of you can give,
Mystic Night

Adoptions cost money, attorney's do not work for free. $5000 sounds like a fair price because there is ALOT of paperwork and laws involved for even the simplest adoptions.

You can get a consult with another attorney to see what the fees will be.

 

[Just Blue]

Adoptions cost money, attorney's do not work for free. $5000 sounds like a fair price because there is ALOT of paperwork and laws involved for even the simplest adoptions.

You can get a consult with another attorney to see what the fees will be.

And lets not forget the cost of home studies, GAL, and such...My niece is currently adopting a child and so far they have spend over 30K.

Because this is a private adoption between family members you still have to abide the laws and processes for adoption in your state.

 

[momofrose]

What is the name of your state? Oklahoma

I am a 31 year old woman, married happlily now for 2 years but can not have children it seems. My sister and her fiance have agreed to concieve a child for us. My husband has contacted a lawyer from around here and he told him that it could cost us $5000 for the paper work alone! I am wondering if maybe my loving husband explained our situation wrongly and may have got a wrong price. I mean if my sister who obviously is family is willing to give me a child, then why would it cost so much? Its not like we want to buy a baby. I also need the steps required to make this happen. I and my sister would really like to have it all done before the child is born. It would be much harder on her and the baby if it isnt handed over to me and my husband from the get go I think.

Thanks for the input or advice that any of you can give,
Mystic Night

Why would you think that you would not have the baby "from the get go" - I did an adoption and we had outr son 2 days after he was born. Adoptions are put into place while the mother is pregnant - then rights terminated after the baby is born (time frame depending on your state).
$5000.00 is nothing when it comes to adoption.

D

 

[ifnotforgrace]

My sister and her fiance have agreed to concieve a child for us.

Have you considered what all can go "wrong" with this down the road--I mean even years from now? An adoption of this sort has potentially more problems than most. People can change their minds. What happens if your sister and her fiance get a divorce (no one likes to think about it) down the road. Or when they have children of their own and borther sister, niece/nephew ?'s come up.
Most adoptee's do not know their birth parents, but I assume your sister will remian in contact. What happens when it comes time to explain all this to the child and how will it feel about aunt/uncle whomever and it's blood siblings? Having the birth parents so close to you and the child in your everyday life presents many ideas (good/bad) to consider.

A good attorney will look out for all your interests and try to think of everything that can potentially be a problem for you here and there are alot of bases to cover. That's going to cost $$$. T

 

[Ohiogal]

An ADOPTION is NOT what they are talking about. Try using the terms "surrogacy contract". Sis would be artificially inseminated with OP's hubby's sperm.

 

[enjay]

Ohiogal, it sounds like the child will be the biological child of the sister and her fiance:

My sister and her fiance have agreed to concieve a child for us.

 

[momofrose]

An ADOPTION is NOT what they are talking about. Try using the terms "surrogacy contract". Sis would be artificially inseminated with OP's hubby's sperm.

Thatis NOT what she said - she said "My sister and her fiance have agreed to concieve a child for us"...where in her post does it say they would use her husband's sperm?

D

 

[nextwife]

Thatis NOT what she said - she said "My sister and her fiance have agreed to concieve a child for us"...where in her post does it say they would use her husband's sperm?

D

I read it the same way. Sis and hubby making a baby for poster to adopt. Fraught with legal time-bombs.

If this were truly surrogacy, then sis would be carrying poster's own baby and it would not truly be adoption, but would require legal assistance before conception. Regardless, whatever they do involving sis in poster's baby, they need a PREconception legal consultation.


Poster, have you considered, instead of creating a new baby, adoption a wonderful, ALREADY born child from an orphanage?

There are hundreds of thousands of wonderful children worldwide that want and need families. My daughter is no less lovable just because she and I were unable to connect before she had many months on this planet. Nor is she any less lovable just because we don't share genetics. Any child I might have given birth to could not possibly have been any more wonderful than the child I have now.

 

[Ohiogal]

I read it the same way. Sis and hubby making a baby for poster to adopt. Fraught with legal time-bombs.

If this were truly surrogacy, then sis would be carrying poster's own baby and it would not truly be adoption, but would require legal assistance before conception. Regardless, whatever they do involving sis in poster's baby, they need a PREconception legal consultation.


Poster, have you considered, instead of creating a new baby, adoption a wonderful, ALREADY born child from an orphanage?

There are hundreds of thousands of wonderful children worldwide that want and need families. My daughter is no less lovable just because she and I were unable to connect before she had many months on this planet. Nor is she any less lovable just because we don't share genetics. Any child I might have given birth to could not possibly have been any more wonderful than the child I have now.

Well fine. Then it is babyselling pure and simple. They would be paying TWO PEOPLE to conceive a child and then give said child to them. That is not adoption either.

 

[nextwife]

If MY embryo is implanted in another, who provides their womb for the duration of the pregnancy, is that not surrogacy? f so, how is that babyselling? If conceived from my self and husband? Just asking, because That is what I understood surrogacy to be, and don't understand how it is seen as babyselling.

I don't believe that is what they are doing, however. I sounded to me like sis and her hubby were going to conceive THEIR own baby for poster to adopt. Which I see as a potential legal disaster in so many ways.