Need Some Info

[DgtlShadow]

What is the name of your state? Colorado

Hello, a very special friend of mine is in need of some help. She is pregnant and would like to go the route of adoption as she already has a 3 year old and is struggling as it is. The "father" does not want to go adoption. The 2 of them have not been together for quite a while and she found out months after they were apart that she was pregnant. She would love for the child to have a good life with a loving family that can provide for it instead of her keeping the baby and having 2 parents that do not get along and possibly making life extremely hard for herself, her current 3 year old and for the new baby. Now she would still love to be able to do the adoption but like i said the "father" does not and i know both are required to sign papers and such to do the adoption. I have read up and seen that if a parent is deemed unfit then they do not need to sign as their parental rights can be revoked. The "father" as far as i can tell is not a very good person. When he was told about the pregnancy his first response was for her to get an abortion. He fights with her contstantly and somehow always "forgets" when her doctor appointments are. When she asked him for help with the medical bills he said he was not able to help her out because he has other things in his life to pay for. OK, now my question, where can i find the standards for the state of Colorado that would clarify what makes a parent "unfit"? (By The Way, i am asking because she does not have access to a computer so i am doing research for her)

[nextwife]

Nothing you ave stated about him rises to the level of "unfitness".

Has he been convicted of child neglect, or molestation? Does he have a proven history of drug abuse or dangerous mental illness? Not wanting to pay medical costs for a pregnancy that is not proven to be his child is totally understandable, considering how many men are duped about paternity.

[Rushia]

It really doesn't matter what he did while she was pregnant. Failure to provide support is NOT grounds for termination in your state.

[DgtlShadow]

I understand what i have said does not make him unfit, i was just wondering where i can find the guidelines for my state so that i may pass it on to her.....she knows a lot more about him than i do and just want to give her some help.

[nextwife]

When Parental Consent is not Needed
Statute: §§ 19-5-203; 19-3-604

* The parent's rights have been terminated due to the parent's unfitness, as outlined in § 19-3-604.
* The parent has failed to provide support or has abandoned the child for 1 year.

[url]http://198.187.128.12/colorado/lpext.dll?f=templates&fn=fs-main.htm&2.0[/url]

19-3-604. Criteria for termination.
Statute text

(1) The court may order a termination of the parent-child legal relationship upon the finding by clear and convincing evidence of any one of the following:

(a) That the child has been adjudicated dependent or neglected and has been abandoned by the child's parent or parents as follows:

(I) That the parent or parents have surrendered physical custody of the child for a period of six months or more and have not manifested during such period the firm intention to resume physical custody of the child or to make permanent legal arrangements for the care of the child except in cases when voluntary placement is renewable under section 19-3-701 (1);

(II) That the identity of the parent of the child is unknown and has been unknown for three months or more and that reasonable efforts to identify and locate the parent in accordance with section 19-3-603 have failed;

(b) That the child is adjudicated dependent or neglected and the court finds that no appropriate treatment plan can be devised to address the unfitness of the parent or parents. In making such a determination, the court shall find one of the following as the basis for unfitness:

(I) Emotional illness, mental illness, or mental deficiency of the parent of such duration or nature as to render the parent unlikely within a reasonable time to care for the ongoing physical, mental, and emotional needs and conditions of the child;

(II) A single incident resulting in serious bodily injury or disfigurement of the child;

(III) Long-term confinement of the parent of such duration that the parent is not eligible for parole for at least six years after the date the child was adjudicated dependent or neglected or, in a county designated pursuant to section 19-1-123, if the child is under six years of age at the time a petition is filed in accordance with section 19-3-501 (2), the long-term confinement of the parent of such duration that the parent is not eligible for parole for at least thirty-six months after the date the child was adjudicated dependent or neglected and the court has found by clear and convincing evidence that no appropriate treatment plan can be devised to address the unfitness of the parent or parents;

(IV) Serious bodily injury or death of a sibling due to proven parental abuse or neglect;

(V) An identifiable pattern of habitual abuse to which the child or another child has been subjected and, as a result of which, a court has adjudicated another child as neglected or dependent based upon allegations of sexual or physical abuse, or a court of competent jurisdiction has determined that such abuse has caused the death of another child;

(VI) An identifiable pattern of sexual abuse of the child; or

(VII) The torture of or extreme cruelty to the child, a sibling of the child, or another child of either parent;

(c) That the child is adjudicated dependent or neglected and all of the following exist:

(I) That an appropriate treatment plan approved by the court has not been reasonably complied with by the parent or parents or has not been successful or that the court has previously found, pursuant to section 19-3-508 (1) (e), that an appropriate treatment plan could not be devised. In a county designated pursuant to section 19-1-123, if a child is under six years of age at the time a petition is filed in accordance with section 19-3-501 (2), no parent or parents shall be found to be in reasonable compliance with or to have been successful at a court-approved treatment plan when:

(A) The parent has not attended visitations with the child as set forth in the treatment plan, unless good cause can be shown for failing to visit; or

(B) The parent exhibits the same problems addressed in the treatment plan without adequate improvement, including but not limited to improvement in the relationship with the child, and is unable or unwilling to provide nurturing and safe parenting sufficiently adequate to meet the child's physical, emotional, and mental health needs and conditions despite earlier intervention and treatment for the family. The court may receive testimony regarding the family's progress under the treatment plan from the child's physician or therapist, foster parent, educational or religious teachers, CASA volunteer, or caseworker.

(II) That the parent is unfit; and

(III) That the conduct or condition of the parent or parents is unlikely to change within a reasonable time.

(2) In determining unfitness, conduct, or condition for purposes of paragraph (c) of subsection (1) of this section, the court shall find that continuation of the legal relationship between parent and child is likely to result in grave risk of death or serious bodily injury to the child or that the conduct or condition of the parent or parents renders the parent or parents unable or unwilling to give the child reasonable parental care to include, at a minimum, nurturing and safe parenting sufficiently adequate to meet the child's physical, emotional, and mental health needs and conditions. In making such determinations, the court shall consider, but not be limited to, the following:

(a) Any one of the bases for a finding of parental unfitness set forth in paragraph (b) of subsection (1) of this section;

(b) Conduct towards the child of a physically or sexually abusive nature;

(c) History of violent behavior;

(d) A single incident of life-threatening or serious bodily injury or disfigurement of the child;

(e) Excessive use of intoxicating liquors or controlled substances, as defined in section 12-22-303 (7), C.R.S., which affects the ability to care and provide for the child;

(f) Neglect of the child;

(g) Injury or death of a sibling due to proven parental abuse or neglect, murder, voluntary manslaughter, or circumstances in which a parent aided, abetted, or attempted the commission of or conspired or solicited to commit murder of a child's sibling;

(h) Reasonable efforts by child-caring agencies which have been unable to rehabilitate the parent or parents;

(i) That any parent who is a named respondent in the termination proceeding has had prior involvement with the department of human services concerning an incident of abuse or neglect involving the child and a subsequent incident of abuse or neglect occurs;

(j) Whether a parent committed felony assault that resulted in serious bodily injury to the child or to another child of the parent;

(k) That the child has been in foster care under the responsibility of the county department for fifteen of the most recent twenty-two months, unless:

(I) The child is placed with a relative of the child;

(II) The county department or a state agency has documented in the case plan, which shall be available for court review, that filing such a motion would not be in the best interests of the child;

(III) Where required to make reasonable efforts, services identified as necessary for the safe return of the child to the child's home have not been provided to the family consistent with the time period in the case plan; or

(IV) The child has been in foster care under the responsibility of the county department for such period of time due to circumstances beyond the control of the parent such as incarceration of the parent for a reasonable period of time, court delays or continuances that are not attributable to the parent, or such other reasonable circumstances that the court finds are beyond the control of the parent;

(l) Whether, on two or more occasions, a child in the physical custody of the parent has been adjudicated dependent or neglected in a proceeding under this article or comparable proceedings under the laws of another state or the federal government;

(m) Whether, on one or more prior occasions, a parent has had his or her parent-child legal relationship terminated pursuant to this article or section 19-5-105 or comparable proceedings under the laws of another state or the federal government.

(3) In considering the termination of the parent-child legal relationship, the court shall give pri**** consideration to the physical, mental, and emotional conditions and needs of the child. The court shall review and order, if necessary, an evaluation of the child's physical, mental, and emotional conditions. For the purpose of determining termination of the parent-child legal relationship, written reports and other materials relating to the child's mental, physical, and social history may be received and considered by the court along with other evidence; but the court, if so requested by the child, his parent or guardian, or any other interested party, shall require that the person who wrote the report or prepared the material appear as a witness and be subject to both direct and cross-examination. In the absence of such request, the court may order the person who prepared the report or other material to appear if it finds that the interest of the child so requires****************************.

[DgtlShadow]

thank you, i appreciate that very much

[nextwife]

You're welcome.

I wish more parents would consider what is truly best for the child when these situations come up. Just because two people can procreate together does NOT mean they should become parenting partners together. There are many cases in which a child would have been far better off being raised by two mature, responsible adults who loved and respected each otherand simply didn't happen to share genes with them, than by two immature, semi adults who despise each other, have totally different goals, life styles, belief systems and who have no respect for the other parent

[stealth2]

Originally Posted by DgtlShadow

she knows a lot more about him than i do and just want to give her some help.

Aaaargh! If she knew so much about him, what in God's name was she doing with him and getting pregnant by him? Women like this drive me insane.

[DgtlShadow]

Originally Posted by stealth2

Aaaargh! If she knew so much about him, what in God's name was she doing with him and getting pregnant by him? Women like this drive me insane.

People tend to be quite different and change, i was with my ex for 3 years she was great in the beginning and then later she ended up being a totally different person that i didn't want to be with anymore. Same thing here, she was with him and he was decent then he turned into a complete jerk. things happen, people become exes for a reason. if it wasn't for the info i got i would be very upset that i came here looking for help as i feel i am gettin bashed for trying to help a wonderful woman out.

[stealth2]

Originally Posted by DgtlShadow

People tend to be quite different and change, i was with my ex for 3 years she was great in the beginning and then later she ended up being a totally different person that i didn't want to be with anymore. Same thing here, she was with him and he was decent then he turned into a complete jerk. things happen, people become exes for a reason. if it wasn't for the info i got i would be very upset that i came here looking for help as i feel i am gettin bashed for trying to help a wonderful woman out.

It's been less than 9 months since she decided he was good enough to sleep with. How much freakin' evidence could she have if he only changed since she told him she was expecting? OP is the one who says that mom-to-be knows much more about him. So I somehow doubt it's based on a couple of months of his being different. Get real - odds are he was a bad boy then, and she found it exciting. Now she's going to be a mother and it's not so neat anymore. A judge isn't going to find it impressive that she has such poor judgement.

[DgtlShadow]

Originally Posted by stealth2

It's been less than 9 months since she decided he was good enough to sleep with. How much freakin' evidence could she have if he only changed since she told him she was expecting? OP is the one who says that mom-to-be knows much more about him. So I somehow doubt it's based on a couple of months of his being different. Get real - odds are he was a bad boy then, and she found it exciting. Now she's going to be a mother and it's not so neat anymore. A judge isn't going to find it impressive that she has such poor judgement.

hmmm, apparently he changed before she found out otherwise i am sure they would still be together. why the f*ck are you trying to tell me she is a bad person when you don't even know her and i do. why don't you just shut up if you have nothing constructive to say besides bashing me and her.