open adoption?

[brisgirl825]

What is the name of your state?Mo

My ex is now saying that he will let my husband adopt the kids if we have an enforceable agreement that says he can visit 4 times a yr. We have never thought of not allowing the kids to see him, however we did want to have some control as who the kids are around and where they go.
Anyway, would a visitation agreement be enforcable in court after a TPR/SP adoption?

[Rushia]

Originally Posted by brisgirl825

What is the name of your state?Mo

My ex is now saying that he will let my husband adopt the kids if we have an enforceable agreement that says he can visit 4 times a yr. We have never thought of not allowing the kids to see him, however we did want to have some control as who the kids are around and where they go.
Anyway, would a visitation agreement be enforcable in court after a TPR/SP adoption?

In some states, yes. I don't know if yours is one of them. I'll try to look for you later if I can remember the site I got my info at. If I remember correctly basically, the courts don't like it if you agree to it to get what you want and then change your mind.

Just want to add, if you go with the open adoption. Make sure there is a stipulation that your x MUST attend those courses for your daughters health and is subject to any and all future courses that you and hubby may have to take. Her health is too important, and you don't need to have that hanging over your head if your x takes them out.

[brisgirl825]

Originally Posted by Rushia

In some states, yes. I don't know if yours is one of them. I'll try to look for you later if I can remember the site I got my info at. If I remember correctly basically, the courts don't like it if you agree to it to get what you want and then change your mind.

Just want to add, if you go with the open adoption. Make sure there is a stipulation that your x MUST attend those courses for your daughters health and is subject to any and all future courses that you and hubby may have to take. Her health is too important, and you don't need to have that hanging over your head if your x takes them out.

Thank you Rushia. I have been trying to look it up but I am having trouble browsing tonight.
We do have an appt with the atty tomorrow so I'll know for sure then. I'm just not real patient!

[mom2J]

Missouri does not have an enforceable open adoption agreement. In Missouri, it's completely up to the discretion of the adoptive parents.

Missouri Revised Statutes
Chapter 453
Adoption and Foster Care
Section 453.080

It states, 4. "Before the completion of an adoption, the exchange of information among the parties shall be at the discretion of the parties. Upon completion of an adoption, further contact among the parties shall be at the discretion of the adoptive parents. The court shall not have jurisdiction to deny continuing contact between the adopted person and the birth parent, or an adoptive parent and a birth parent. Additionally, the court shall not have jurisdiction to deny an exchange of identifying information between an adoptive parent and a birth parent."

Mom2J

[brisgirl825]

Wanted to post an update....

My ex has called and said that he will have an atty to look over the papers. As long as everything is in order, he will have them signed tomorrow after his appt!

If you guys recall, he was leary about signing b/c of visitation issues, which this thread talks about. And not being able to satisfy arrearages in the paperwork, based on our atty's fears that it would look like we paid the ex off for the adoption.

So things have been really up and down the last few mths and it looks like everything could be resolved tomorrow!

Thanks for all the info and advice.

[Rushia]

Originally Posted by brisgirl825

Wanted to post an update....

My ex has called and said that he will have an atty to look over the papers. As long as everything is in order, he will have them signed tomorrow after his appt!

If you guys recall, he was leary about signing b/c of visitation issues, which this thread talks about. And not being able to satisfy arrearages in the paperwork, based on our atty's fears that it would look like we paid the ex off for the adoption.

So things have been really up and down the last few mths and it looks like everything could be resolved tomorrow!

Thanks for all the info and advice.

Good Luck and keep us posted!!!

[brisgirl825]

Ex had to work late so the appt has been rescheduled for Fri. morning. I hate the wait, I'm so nervous....

*crossing fingers*

[Rushia]

Originally Posted by brisgirl825

Ex had to work late so the appt has been rescheduled for Fri. morning. I hate the wait, I'm so nervous....

*crossing fingers*

Mine are crossed too!!!!

[brisgirl825]

He's signing them! By next week, we should have a court date!

Thanks for all of the support!

[tigger22472]

Originally Posted by brisgirl825

He's signing them! By next week, we should have a court date!

Thanks for all of the support!

Good deal, good luck and congrats...

[brisgirl825]

Just an update:

Our atty has received the signed, notarized documents today and sent them to the court.
Thanks for all the help, everyone. Esp, to Tigger and Rushia.

[tigger22472]

Originally Posted by brisgirl825

Just an update:

Our atty has received the signed, notarized documents today and sent them to the court.
Thanks for all the help, everyone. Esp, to Tigger and Rushia.

Woohoo!! Congrats and Good Luck!

[Rushia]

Originally Posted by brisgirl825

Just an update:

Our atty has received the signed, notarized documents today and sent them to the court.
Thanks for all the help, everyone. Esp, to Tigger and Rushia.

Congrats!!!! Now if only my x would do that....

[brisgirl825]

Originally Posted by Rushia

Congrats!!!! Now if only my x would do that....

Hmmm, I thought he had already....

[Rushia]

Originally Posted by brisgirl825

Hmmm, I thought he had already....

No, it was discussed and he hasn't made a decision yet. He'll have to figure it out soon though, cause I'll be filing for a modification and a garnishment.