Our Daughter wants to give us custody.

[msapp]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?VA. My Dtr is 22, her baby is 2 months old. The baby's father(22 yrs old) wants to sign over all rights to my daughter. However, my dtr is not ready herself to take care of her child, she wants us (her parents) to take her and raise her. We are more than welling to do this, but how/where do we get started? My dtr is going this week to court with the baby's dad for child support, he has stated that at that time he wants to sign over all rights. They simply are just not ready for a baby. We will raise her, but want it legal, I don't want my dtr to come back in a month and decide she wants baby back. Baby has lived with us since the day she was born. My daughter wants to move out and go back to college, she already works full time. Thank you for any advice.

[George1620]

Originally Posted by msapp

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?VA. My Dtr is 22, her baby is 2 months old. The baby's father(22 yrs old) wants to sign over all rights to my daughter. However, my dtr is not ready herself to take care of her child, she wants us (her parents) to take her and raise her. We are more than welling to do this, but how/where do we get started? My dtr is going this week to court with the baby's dad for child support, he has stated that at that time he wants to sign over all rights. They simply are just not ready for a baby. We will raise her, but want it legal, I don't want my dtr to come back in a month and decide she wants baby back. Baby has lived with us since the day she was born. My daughter wants to move out and go back to college, she already works full time. Thank you for any advice.

He cant just sign the baby over like a pinkslip to a car. Has paternity been established? He will still have to pay child support no matter what.
You have to consider the facts here. Both parents are young, who knows maybe your daughter just needs help. The babys father also has parents who might want to petition for visitation too or who knows maybe they want to adopt as well. You would want to consider the pros and cons of this situation. You could just become the babys custodian and not adopt allowing both parents to still be apart of their childs life.

[msapp]

yes, DNA has already been done. He has only seen baby 4 times since birth and all of those visits were forced by his parents. They are very involved in seeing and spending time with baby. My dtr, on the other hand is extremely torn between this, but she knows that she is not able or ready for a baby. She had thought that once she was born, he would come around and everything would be fine. The complete opposite happened.

[msapp]

Originally Posted by George1620

He cant just sign the baby over like a pinkslip to a car. Has paternity been established? He will still have to pay child support no matter what.
You have to consider the facts here. Both parents are young, who knows maybe your daughter just needs help. The babys father also has parents who might want to petition for visitation too or who knows maybe they want to adopt as well. You would want to consider the pros and cons of this situation. You could just become the babys custodian and not adopt allowing both parents to still be apart of their childs life.

DNA is done. I have made sure that the other grandparent can see her anytime they want. They are much older. I would not keep her from anyone..more people to love her. But if we take her, they are not going to break my heart and take her away in a couple of years.

[George1620]

Originally Posted by msapp

yes, DNA has already been done. He has only seen baby 4 times since birth and all of those visits were forced by his parents. They are very involved in seeing and spending time with baby. My dtr, on the other hand is extremely torn between this, but she knows that she is not able or ready for a baby. She had thought that once she was born, he would come around and everything would be fine. The complete opposite happened.

Not to be mean or anything but**************.. i would definately get a lawyer because technically grandparents have no rights what so ever and some grandparents tend to live through their children.. If the daughter doesnt want to take care of her child the other grandparents could see this as a perfect opportunity to have their son file for custody and then you may lose all hope of ever seeing this child again...its not very likely that it could happen but it might...i myself am in the same situation...My babys mom didnt want our baby so my daughter lives with grandma i just recently got paternity established and i am going to court to get custody of my daughter and they have no idea. Grandparents have no legal rights period. Adoption however can be a tricky process. Both parents have to legally consent to it. Forced or not the babys dad could change his mind evenutally so might your daughter

[msapp]

Originally Posted by George1620

Not to be mean or anything but**************.. i would definately get a lawyer because technically grandparents have no rights what so ever and some grandparents tend to live through their children.. If the daughter doesnt want to take care of her child the other grandparents could see this as a perfect opportunity to have their son file for custody and then you may lose all hope of ever seeing this child again...its not very likely that it could happen but it might...i myself am in the same situation...My babys mom didnt want our baby so my daughter lives with grandma i just recently got paternity established and i am going to court to get custody of my daughter and they have no idea. Grandparents have no legal rights period. Adoption however can be a tricky process. Both parents have to legally consent to it. Forced or not the babys dad could change his mind evenutally so might your daughter

So basically, I would need to set them both down and talk to them, trust me, the father would gladly sign anything to get out of this. He refers to baby as his nightmare that wouldn't stop. nice, right?.....My daughter has asked if she can have her back when she gets herself together, my husband said no, if we take her, she stays til she is done with school. They are welcome to visit or see her anytime. We are still in our early 40's...his parents are in their late 60's. they live 3 blocks away. I will not keep baby from anyone's love. But I am ready to fight for her. I need to know what I am up against.

[George1620]

Originally Posted by msapp

So basically, I would need to set them both down and talk to them, trust me, the father would gladly sign anything to get out of this. He refers to baby as his nightmare that wouldn't stop. nice, right?.....My daughter has asked if she can have her back when she gets herself together, my husband said no, if we take her, she stays til she is done with school. They are welcome to visit or see her anytime. We are still in our early 40's...his parents are in their late 60's. they live 3 blocks away. I will not keep baby from anyone's love. But I am ready to fight for her. I need to know what I am up against.

I think the hardest part here would be getting your daughter to consent to the adoption. Youd have to research your jurisdiction laws on Grandparent rights and child adoption. I found this website that may be of some use to you.
[url]http://laws.adoption.com/statutes/virginia-adoption-laws.html[/url]

[msapp]

Originally Posted by George1620

I think the hardest part here would be getting your daughter to consent to the adoption. Youd have to research your jurisdiction laws on Grandparent rights and child adoption. I found this website that may be of some use to you.
[url]http://laws.adoption.com/statutes/virginia-adoption-laws.html[/url]

Thank you George, I will look at the website and do more research on maybe being baby's legal guardian. In the meantime, good luck with your own daughter, wish you many happy days ahead.

[nextwife]

Originally Posted by George1620

He cant just sign the baby over like a pinkslip to a car. Has paternity been established? He will still have to pay child support no matter what.
You have to consider the facts here. Both parents are young, who knows maybe your daughter just needs help. The babys father also has parents who might want to petition for visitation too or who knows maybe they want to adopt as well. You would want to consider the pros and cons of this situation. You could just become the babys custodian and not adopt allowing both parents to still be apart of their childs life.

I'm on some weblists with a number of adoptive parents who adopted their grandchild. If you want to raise the child knowing that no one can ever take them away, adoption is the ONLY guaranty for the child to have the security of knowing they will never be torn away from the people raising them. Adoption is forever, guardianship is not.

[msapp]

Originally Posted by nextwife

I'm on some weblists with a number of adoptive parents who adopted their grandchild. If you want to raise the child knowing that no one can ever take them away, adoption is the ONLY guaranty for the child to have the security of knowing they will never be torn away from the people raising them. Adoption is forever, guardianship is not.

Your right adoption is forever, however baby's mother is my daughter and I want them both in my life. I know that my dtr is not ready, to late to worry about yesterday, Baby will not suffer for my dtr's bad judgement. Baby is safe and secure with us. I do want to make this a smooth comfortable solution for everyone involved. I also want to make sure that the other grandparents and greatgrandparents see baby when ever they ask. Baby needs to know all her people. I just want Baby safe and happy....
Legal guardianship seems like the better way for this family. Still how? where do we go? where do we start? I need legal documents to put her on papa's insurance..etc...right?

[George1620]

Originally Posted by msapp

Your right adoption is forever, however baby's mother is my daughter and I want them both in my life. I know that my dtr is not ready, to late to worry about yesterday, Baby will not suffer for my dtr's bad judgement. Baby is safe and secure with us. I do want to make this a smooth comfortable solution for everyone involved. I also want to make sure that the other grandparents and greatgrandparents see baby when ever they ask. Baby needs to know all her people. I just want Baby safe and happy....
Legal guardianship seems like the better way for this family. Still how? where do we go? where do we start? I need legal documents to put her on papa's insurance..etc...right?

In Idaho on our websites we do have guardianship of a minor forms so i would def. look into that to see if you have the same thing..It only last 6 months here but it would work for right now why you prepare to go to court and take care of this..

[PA_Old_Man]

Originally Posted by msapp

We will raise her, but want it legal, I don't want my dtr to come back in a month and decide she wants baby back.

I am a grandparent, and went through the same thing.

I went the adoption route. As noted, that is the only permanent solution. Like you, once I am attached and "invested" so much into the child, I didn't want anyone coming to take him away, at any point in the future.

Yea, the child's father is my son. And is still my son. So, there is an ongoing family relationship between my son and the child.

Yea, the child still has an ongoing family relationship with his mother, and his mother's family. But that is strictly at my option (which I allow to happen because I believe it is best for the child). But honestly, that happens only once or twice a year. They are nice, and invite us both over for coffee or something. I think they understand that it is a privilege, and not a right.

[msapp]

Thank you all for the great advice. I am investigating all my options right now. I already know that there is no way that I can give this baby back at any time in her life. I have had her since the day she was born. I am ready to make it legal.