Overturn Adoption

[kupuni]

I was adopted by my stepfather at 16. I had been using my birth name until my mother remarried. I started using my birth name again at 17 when I left home and changed my name legally when I was 21. Now I want to overturn my adoption. I view adoption as a legal lie. My birth certificate has my stepfather as my father, married to my mother eight years after I was born. His geneology is not my geneology and his name is not my name.Geneoloically I am derailed. And about 20 years ago he wrote to tell me he never wanted to see me again. No tears shed. I would rather have my birth certificate read "Father Unknown" rather than someone who isn't even related to me. I am 62 and since all my parents and stepfather are dead it has been suggested to me that this could be done without a lawyer, only requiring a court order and a judge's signature. The adoption took place in CA.. I live in WA. I tried to contact a paralegal in Los Angeles but they either refered me to a lawyer, said they thought they could do it but never got back to me, or didn't respond at all. If it can't be done because of a law can someone tell me the process for changing a law. A person deserves his/her true identity and heritage unless that person chooses to change it.

[nextwife]

I understand where YOU are coming from, but my 7 year old daughter was dumped in an orphanage at birth, and we are the only parents she's ever known. Is her family and culture OUR culture, or that of the family that never knew her, just because they share genes and NOTHING ELSE?

While YOUR adoption, which we can't know why your Mom chose to have stepdad adopt you, may have been a "lie", ADOPTION, per se, is NOT a lie. It's assuring a child that the family they found, maybe after stagnating in a stark orphanage with no parents, home, or anything of their own for the first years of their lives, is now truly THEIR family, forever, with all the protections and rights a biochild of those parents may have had. The "parent" is the person who loves you, cares for you, teaches you values and morals. tucks you in at night, suppports you and IS a "parent" to you.

I truly DON"T know of any law that allows either a biochild or an adopted one to reach adulthood and legally change who their LEGAL parents may be.

FYI- MANY, MANY, MANY non-adopted persons are also running around with a non-biological parent on their birth certificate because of our Child support laws, systems, and the the way they work. And they can't get it changed, even though they NOW know, years after a divorce, or years after signing an affidavit of paternity, that the person named as the father on the birth certificate is actually NOT the biodad. In many states, if the CS system sends a notice to a "last known address of a "presumed father" and he fails to respond, he IS named the father by default, and can NEVER go back and disclaim the paternity, even if he's not the biodad at all.

It is in the State's interest to have a father named LEGALLY. Otherwise the State cannot compel someone to pay child support if the parents are not together. The State does NOT want such matters left up to children to decide what they want. If mom wants biodad's rights and responsibilities terminated because she doesn't want to have anything to do with the father, and the father wants nothing to do with her, and he agrees to have his parental rights terminated, and stepdad adopt, the state has the remedy, if this marriage fails, of going after the adoptive parent to collect CS. If you want to create a law that says that, now that dad has terminated his rights and responsibilities, the stepparent is only the legal parent if the child agrees this is so, then the state has NO father to collect CS from. Thus, lobbying for such a law will be a very hard sell.

Spend some time reading the Child Support and child custody forums. SSOOOOOO many situations in which the father on the birth certificate was mom's newer boyfriend, the unknowing husband, the boyfriend, but, because the mom was married, the husband had to go on the birth certificate, and so on. At least adoption doesn't create the myth that the non-biologica child IS ones biological child and is honest about the parentage.

If you want to change a law, you lobby for it and work to change it.

[kupuni]

The State! Yes ! The state wants someone to be held responsible. And as you said, it dosen't of necessity have to be the biological father. So now you have responsibility on false grounds implimented by the State. Another case of blind justice. The State is self serving. That's why we pay high taxes and get little in return. I'm not talking about adopting babies, I'm talking about step parent adoption, though I feel about the same in both cases. Just as you can only be born in one place, you can only have one father and mother. That's the only key to your genetic history. So what, you say? There lies the difference. It's generations of ancesters that you and the State are so willing to flush with a false record of birth. I happen to have been born in Oregon where you can see your preadoption birth certificate. If an adopted person had their biological parents name included on their birth certificate I would have no argument. But that won't do. I know my paternal family but what are my decendants going to find in 3 or 4 or more generations? It has nothing to do with love or caring. Of course you love your adopted child but I believe only selfishness to be the reason to deny a person their true identity; the State, to establish financial responsibility and the adoptive parents to say "Look at all I've done for you". I've lived it. That was the end result to the falling out I had with my stepfather. He couldn't understand why I felt the bond with my dad and not him "After all I did for you". You can choose to tell your child that he/she was adopted or not. I don't have that choice. I know and love my family and overturning my adoption would reestablish my birth certificate as it originally existed for 16 years before the step parent adoption. You explain to me why,in my case, this should be such a problem? I will die with my true identity and anyone in my future family will be able to follow my line back through the Mitchell ancestery because they'll know who my dad was. Just because my mother didn't like him dosen't mean I didn't. He was my dad! Please excuse me if I seem a little testy about this but I am. I had no choice as to where I was born or who my parents were or what race I am.If I would have I'd be very rich and danmed good looking. But I have a history I feel obliged to honor for my sake and for my family. I'm asking for assistance.

[nextwife]

At 16 you WOULD have had a say in being adopted, under CA adoption Satute:

[url]http://www.adoptionsolutions.com/general/state%20laws/ca_law.htm[/url]
California Adoption Statute Summary

California General Laws Annotated Sections 8500 to 8700 and 9200 to 9206 (1998). See also Sections 8700 to 8720 for more information specific to agency adoptions; 8800 to 8823 for independent adoptions; 8900 to 8919 for intercountry adoptions; and 9000 to 9007 for stepparent adoptions.

Who Can Adopt?
Any adult can adopt, as long as they are at least10 years older than the adoptee. A court may waive the 10-year requirement if the adoption is by a stepparent or relative and if it is in the child's best interest.

If a spouse wants to adopt, the other spouse must give his/her consent, unless they are legally separated.

For the first ninety days after a child is freed for adoption and is being placed by an agency, the child may only be placed with a family of the same racial, ethnic, and cultural background. An exception to this rule may be made when the birth parents request it, when the child has an extraordinary physical or emotional need, or when such a policy would otherwise not be in the child's best interest. Religious background will also be considered.

Who Can Be Adopted?
Any child or adult can be adopted. This summary, however, applies to the adoption of unmarried minors.

Consent to Adoption
The following parties must consent to the adoption:
1. the mother;
2. the man who is presumed to be the father by marriage or attempted marriage to the mother at the time of birth or within 300 days prior to birth; or has been legitimated as the father by other specified means;
3. Department of Social Services or county adoption agency, where parental consent
is not necessary; and
4. an adoptee who is over 12 years of age.