paternity post adoption

[confused_hound]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC

I don't even know if I have a leg to stand on but I'm gonna give
it a shot. I need some advice on whether to let this go or to pursue
my rights.

I am a white male 46 yrs old who was told his whole life he was
adopted but I never knew who my real biological parents were
until I was 39 yrs old. That info became available to me later in
life. I was adopted at 3 days old. I have a copy of my original
birth certificate with my biological mother's name on it but father's
name is blank. Upon speaking with her by phone and in person.
She advised me of who my real biological father was/is. He is
a wealthy man retired now (70 something) living the good life in Florida.
He has 2 other sons by his wife (not my mother) my half brothers.
My biological mother was their babysitter and lived next door and took
care of their kids when they had activities. She claimed that he
is my father and kept it quiet cuz he was still married. So she put
me up for adoption and never told him she was pregnant. Boy did he
get a surprise 6 yrs ago when I called his other son and told him
I was his half brother. I got my claimed biological father on the
phone and talked a whopping 15 seconds before he told me he didn't
want nothing to do with me. So I never contacted him again.
Him and his children, live in big houses and have lots of money.
I live in a shack, barely making enough to buy food for my own 2 minor
children. Now, my question is this: Do I have a legal right to sue him
for my birth right that was robbed of me 46 yrs ago? AND again 6 yrs ago
when I contacted him about it and he ignored me. I seriously doubt he would
take a paternity test without a court order. My stake in the family fortune
could be enormous. I have been trying to contact several attorneys
in my area but I don't have a lot of funds to pay them. But if the suit is
settled it could be substantial. How good of a chance do I have in this
paternity suit? What legs do I have to stand on? I live in NC, next door to my
elderly, aging, adoptive parents. My biological mother lives in Alabama and the proposed biological father (originally from AL) now lives in Florida. Any help please? Any advice?

[mommyof4]

Originally Posted by confused_hound

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC

I don't even know if I have a leg to stand on but I'm gonna give
it a shot. I need some advice on whether to let this go or to pursue
my rights.

I am a white male 46 yrs old who was told his whole life he was
adopted but I never knew who my real biological parents were
until I was 39 yrs old. That info became available to me later in
life. I was adopted at 3 days old. I have a copy of my original
birth certificate with my biological mother's name on it but father's
name is blank. Upon speaking with her by phone and in person.
She advised me of who my real biological father was/is. He is
a wealthy man retired now (70 something) living the good life in Florida.
He has 2 other sons by his wife (not my mother) my half brothers.
My biological mother was their babysitter and lived next door and took
care of their kids when they had activities. She claimed that he
is my father and kept it quiet cuz he was still married. So she put
me up for adoption and never told him she was pregnant. Boy did he
get a surprise 6 yrs ago when I called his other son and told him
I was his half brother. I got my claimed biological father on the
phone and talked a whopping 15 seconds before he told me he didn't
want nothing to do with me. So I never contacted him again.
Him and his children, live in big houses and have lots of money.
I live in a shack, barely making enough to buy food for my own 2 minor
children. Now, my question is this: Do I have a legal right to sue him
for my birth right that was robbed of me 46 yrs ago? AND again 6 yrs ago
when I contacted him about it and he ignored me. I seriously doubt he would
take a paternity test without a court order. My stake in the family fortune
could be enormous. I have been trying to contact several attorneys
in my area but I don't have a lot of funds to pay them. But if the suit is
settled it could be substantial. How good of a chance do I have in this
paternity suit? What legs do I have to stand on? I live in NC, next door to my
elderly, aging, adoptive parents. My biological mother lives in Alabama and the proposed biological father (originally from AL) now lives in Florida. Any help please? Any advice?

You have no right to sue for anything. He owes you nothing. He is NOT your legal father and never will be and you are not his legal child (even IF DNA proved you were his biological offspring). Let it go.

[confused_hound]

Originally Posted by mommyof4

You have no right to sue for anything. He owes you nothing. He is NOT your legal father and never will be and you are not his legal child (even IF DNA proved you were his biological offspring). Let it go.

Somehow I have a hard time believing that.
You mean to tell me that men are not accountable
for their offspring ???? Whether they know about
them or not??? He is the reason I am here to begin with.

[mommyof4]

Originally Posted by confused_hound

Somehow I have a hard time believing that.
You mean to tell me that men are not accountable
for their offspring ???? Whether they know about
them or not??? He is the reason I am here to begin with.

No, the reason you are here is because the woman who gave birth to you decided to not abort you and ensured that you were placed with a family (that would be your legal mother and father).

You have NO grounds to sue for anything and, in fact, taking any of the actions you are contemplating (IF you could even find an atty unethical enough to take this on) could come perilously close to criminal activity.

He owes you nothing as he has no relation to you in any legal manner. NONE.

[confused_hound]

Originally Posted by mommyof4

You have NO grounds to sue for anything and, in fact, taking any of the actions you are contemplating (IF you could even find an atty unethical enough to take this on) could come perilously close to criminal activity.

what on earth would be criminal about pursuing this???
and by the way thanks for the help thus far

[mommyof4]

Originally Posted by confused_hound

what on earth would be criminal about pursuing this???
and by the way thanks for the help thus far

Uhhh, forcing the man to pay you off? Ever heard of extortion? I said it could come close. It would probably be very difficult to make a case, but according to you he's a very wealthy (and most likely powerful) man. How much do you have to pay out in legal fees defending any suit he may throw at you?

If nothing else, I'm betting you could very easily see a restraining order in your future. Do you want that on your permanent record? Once that RO is in place, any attempts to contact him land you in legal (read: criminal) hot water.

Again....

LET IT GO.

[confused_hound]

Originally Posted by mommyof4

Uhhh, forcing the man to pay you off? Ever heard of extortion? I said it could come close. It would probably be very difficult to make a case, but according to you he's a very wealthy (and most likely powerful) man. How much do you have to pay out in legal fees defending any suit he may throw at you?

If nothing else, I'm betting you could very easily see a restraining order in your future. Do you want that on your permanent record? Once that RO is in place, any attempts to contact him land you in legal (read: criminal) hot water.

Again....

LET IT GO.

lol, nobody FORCED him to jump on my biological mother
and he knew the consequences of that action when he did it.
It is a sad day when there is no help for the black sheep
that gets swept under the rug. And I don't consider it
extortion. I did nothing wrong except be born into this
situation. A birth right was taken away. Where is the justice
in that? Maybe I am bitter, but I don't have a clue what he
would sue me for ************** being born ???? lol
but I do appreciate your time and advice and I'll seek
further consultation into this matter.

[mommyof4]

lol, nobody FORCED him to jump on my biological mother
and he knew the consequences of that action when he did it.

Nobody forced the woman who gave birth to you lay under him, either NOR did anybody force her to find a nice family for you. Are you going to sue her too?

It is a sad day when there is no help for the black sheep
that gets swept under the rug.

You are not a 'black sheep'. You are NOT his legal child. I don't know how to make this clearer to you.

And I don't consider it
extortion.

Doesn't mean that HE won't.

I did nothing wrong except be born into this
situation.

Excpet for the little issue of suing him because you found out he's loaded.

A birth right was taken away.

You wouldn't have the 'right' to his finances even if you were his legal son. He would ONLY have been legally obligated to provide basic support until you were at the age of majority. After that, he wouldn't have to have anything to do with you at all.

Where is the justice
in that?

The justice is that you were raised by two parents who love you.

Maybe I am bitter,

no maybe about

itbut I don't have a clue what he
would sue me for ************** being born ???? lol

Didn't we already go over that? Harassment comes IMMEDIATELY to mind, but if he is that determined to keep you away, he will and I'm sure he and his attys could probably come up with all sorts of things.

but I do appreciate your time and advice and I'll seek
further consultation into this matter.

You're welcome.

[ariastar]

The one you need to take issue with is your birth mother. SHE is the one who placed you for adoption without telling your alleged birth father. He never knew you existed, and he owes you nothing. Your BM also didn't have to pay the costs of raising you. Therefore she's owed nothing either. IF your BM had raised you, the best either of you could hope for is for him to be ordered to pay back child support to your BM, but after so many decades, that's not too likely. You are a child he never knew existed. You need to find out from your BM why, if she's so certain he's your father, she didn't keep you and go after him for support. You think the laws are skewed toward mothers NOW? The Tender Years Doctrine was in full force. She could have asked for his balls in a jar and been awarded them back then. She may not be 100% sure he's your father and ashamed to admit it, or, most likely, she thought you would have a better life in an intact home with two parents. You didn't suffer in your childhood for having two parents. You didn't suffer because your half-brothers have more toys than you did You've lost nothing over this. You were spared the stigma of being a b*stard-child.

But let's say paternity is established after all this time. You stll are not entitled to any of the "family fortune." It is HIS money, and only "family fortune" as much as he decides to make it "family money." If he dies without a will, then it goes to next of kin after Unce Sam takes his cuts and creditors are paid, but what wealthy person doesn't have a will?

Look, almost six years ago my dad killed himself. He was drunk, and his last words to be were he was going to kill ME, but then shot himself. As far as his parents were concerned, I failed to talk him out of it, so was to blame for the death of their only son. I've been completely cut out of the will, and let's just say "wealthy" barely scrapes the surface of what they have. But guess what. It's their money and I'm entitled to none of it. I've lost nothing as none of it was mine to begin with. There's no law saying parents must pass on all their money to their bilogical children. If my grandparents and your alleged birth father wanted, they could donate 100% of their vast fortunes to a school, a church, another charity, to the second child because his hair is most like great-aunt Mildred's younger daughter's baby's daddy's, or even the Queen of England. It's not my money, it's not your money. If their money to do with AS THEY WANT.

This man has no obligation to financially support you, nor did he when you were a child. The only people who were are the mother and father who adopted you.

If this man were living on social security splitting pills to try to stretch his meds and iving without electricity because he couldn't afford to pay it, would you be pressing this issue so much claiming he has a responsibility to compensate you for not being there? No. You'd be saying he didn't know you were alive, so how could he do "the right thing"? You're just seeing dancing dollar signs, and you're going to let this cause you to live your sunset years feeling bitter. You are only wanting to pursue this because you want his money. Any attorneys he can get would trample all over your attorneys who have no guarantee of ever seeing a dime. His attorneys will be paid in full, and paid well. You'd be a client among many, and probably lowest on their totem pole of priority. He'll likely be one client among very few, presuming he doesn't exclusively employ them. You could face criminal charges if it's determined you are going after him trying to get money in exchange for letting him live his life without you trying to cause embarassment or distress (extortion). You have NO interest in a RELATIONSHIP with your aleged birth father, only in HIS money.

[ariastar]

Originally Posted by confused_hound

lol, nobody FORCED him to jump on my biological mother
and he knew the consequences of that action when he did it.

He knew a pregnancy could occur, but silly me, I thought that when you said in your first post, "She claimed that he is my father and kept it quiet cuz he was still married. So she put me up for adoption and never told him she was pregnant," that that meant he DIDN'T know about the "consequences".

Also your mother chose to have sex with him. Unless you're going to allege he is a rapist? You DON'T want to go there

Originally Posted by confused_hound

A birth right was taken away. Where is the justice
in that?

This is America. Never in America have people had automatic rights to their parents' money. The only right is basic support to legal adulthood. Further, in counties that DID have birth rights, the money passed to the eldest son, which you are not. So even if this old law were law here, he already has "an heir and a spare". You'd be third in line anyway. They'd both have to die BEFORE he does. If he dies and we had this old law, money would pass to the oldest son, and when that oldest son dies, it would have gone to his oldest son. No sons? Then it would pass to the next oldest boy. He'd have to die with no sons, and THEN the money MIGHT pass to you. A b*tch about the old European birth rights is that being a b*stard child made you illegitimate, and therefore you don't count unless the father chooses to legitimize you.

So if you want to try to apply birth right laws that never applied in this country, you still aren't entitled to anything.

[confused_hound]

wow, thanks for putting it in a way I understand it
I'm illegitimate ..... therefore I fell thru the cracks. lol
the story of my life ..... hahahaha
I don't count ...... boy, you folks sure know how to make a guy
feel good round these parts

hey, maybe I'll write a book about it and sell a million copies.
.... lmao ..... do Oprah, Murray and Springer .... hey do I get
to pull hair too???? hahahaha

can I use his real name in the book ????

just kidding folks

I'm lettin it go

got better things to do
like dying
but thanks

[momofrose]

Hey OP - do you know how lucky you are that you were adopted? Do you know how many kids are out there just waiting for a real home! You should be ashamed of yourself.

[confused_hound]

well I just spoke with a family attorney here in NC.
and he advised me that I do have a leg to stand on
if fraud was involved before the adoption.
My Birth Mother did not tell biological father she was
pregnant AND she knew who the father was. Therefore
she defrauded the adoption agency by lying to them
that she didn't know. According to the law, an adoption
cannot occur legally unless BOTH mother and father
agree to it. Since he was the father and was never notified
then fraud occurred and the adoption was not legal cuz
he didn't have a say-so. If the adoption was not legal,
therefore ************** I have a claim.

[momofrose]

try again - you are a 46 year old man - so MAN UP - your Biological father owes you NOTHING!!! it is not his fault your birthmother lied to him. You were support while you were raised by your LEGALparents - Ugh - I can't even stand to 'talk' with you anymore...disgusting!

[Proserpina]

Oh for pete's sake....

Don't lie to us. You just happened to find and speak with an attorney in the last hour? Please.

You have NO case.

Are you familiar with the phrase "statute of limitations"? Actually if you could provide that attorney's bar number we'd be able to check it out for you - he's obviously incorrect and giving you erroneous information.

(out of interest, how exactly would you prove what Mom did or did not know?)