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ambervoss

Guest
What is the name of your state? oklahoma
i need to know what are my rights as far as being adopted and looking for my birth father.
 


C

craftymom

Guest
You have the right to search, but you can't force him to acknowledge you, nor provide you with any history you may be looking for. Also, that I am aware of, you must be 18 for any agencies to assist you with any information you are trying to get.

Was there a specific right you were wondering about?
 
A

ambervoss

Guest
still need help...

yeah like what I can do to find him. I am older than 18 and i am married and I just want him to know my husband and my soon to be child. I know he was looking a few years ago along with some of my other bio family. i found them but they lost contact with him a few years ago. my adoption records will cost close to $400 to release and being married to a military man we just dont have that. any advice would be welcomed.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
Where were you adopted and when? The laws vary from sate to state. My daughter is a WI resident, but hers was an internationaladooption,so the laws of her birth country would prevent her from knowing (not to mention that her birthmother did not know who the birthfather was).

There are voluntary registries (search online under adoption registry) for various states that parties on either side of the adoption may list themselves and the details of their situation, and indicate they wish contact with birth parent.
 
A

ambervoss

Guest
my adoption was done in bryan county oklahoma. I have already put my name on the adoption regestrys and I have not found anything indicating that he has put his name on there yet. i am hopeful though!
 

CMSC

Senior Member
You said that he was searching with some other birth family, can they give you his name? In Oklahoma you have to be on the registry for atleast 6 months before requesting a search.
 
A

ambervoss

Guest
I have his name and his birthday. I also have a crimainal record of him that accounts for where he was at from Oct 1989 to Oct 1991. I have contacted the corrections offices and they gave me an number to call. Hopefully I should be getting some information from them.
 
C

craftymom

Guest
If you were placed for adoption (versus a step-parent adoption), you could contact the agency that placed you and see what options are available to do a search through them.

Although---- if you already have a name, birthdate, and partial history on your bio-father--- I don't see what an "adoption" search would gain for you. You're searching for someone already "known" to you---which could be a different search altogether.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
As Craftymom said, this is no longer a "who IS my birthdad" search, it is a missing person search. The process of locating him would be the same as any other missing person search. You no longer need adoption records to do this.
 
A

ambervoss

Guest
Thank you everyone who responded to me. I hope I will find him to let him know how I turned out. It will be wonderful to have him meet my husband and my child.
 

HomeGuru

Senior Member
ambervoss said:
Thank you everyone who responded to me. I hope I will find him to let him know how I turned out. It will be wonderful to have him meet my husband and my child.
**A: not if he is a career criminal.
 
C

craftymom

Guest
ambervoss said:
Thank you everyone who responded to me. I hope I will find him to let him know how I turned out. It will be wonderful to have him meet my husband and my child.
As an adoptee who has completed a successful (?) search, this quote sincerely worries me.

Hun, please don't go into this with rose colored glasses and stars in your eyes. Truly examine your thoughts and feelings about each possible result of your search.

What would you do if:

He refuses to acknowledge you outright?

He accepts you for a 'single meeting only', and then decides that
--well, he's met you, and doesn't want to continue?

He accepts you, but then talks trash about your bio-mother?

He accepts you, but then condemns your adoptive parents?

He initially accepts you, but eventually disapproves of you?

You both meet, and it turns out that he is FAR from the man you've 'dreamed of' as your bio-father?

You both meet, and your personalities are so polar-opposite from one another, that you can't stand him?

And, of course, as HomeGuru mentioned---you already know he has a record. What if he is a career criminal? Do you really want to invite that into your life? Your child's life?

Truly, I'm not trying to encourage you to NOT search. I just want to caution you. This is a Pandora's Box---please, please think about these questions, and be sure you can handle what comes out of the box if you open it.

Good luck to you
 
A

ambervoss

Guest
I am not going into this with high expectations. It is his right to refuse to see me or talk to me. However it wont affect me that much. I am not saying I wouldnt be disappointed, I truly would, but I have better things to do with my life than to just focus on this one rejection. As far as his criminal record, I don't care about that. If I meet him and I find out he is still doing those things then I will cut off contact, however this record was 3 months after my mother, his wife, died. And he was released on probation. Apperently he has not done anything else since his release from probation, or he hasn't gotten caught. CRAFTYMOM, thank you for your concerns. I do understand them, however good or bad this turns out I am going to look and if it is bad I will walk away. If it is good then YIPEE!!!!! Thank you for your input.
 

CMSC

Senior Member
monnickasmommy said:
you can also try
1-800-us search
Please don't advertise that site, they rip off adoptee's and others by giving decade old, sometimes completely WRONG information.
 

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