Private adoption

[SheHoldsTheKey]

What is the name of your state? Maryland, but will be moving to North Carolina before the baby is born.

Situation:
I am a single mother to a 2 year old little girl. I support her completely on my own, with no child support, the only help I get is state health insurance for my daughter because I don't have that option through my job.
In June of this year my cousin will be delivering a baby that she doesn't want. She has agreed to let me adopt the baby.
The issue is that I will be moving to North Carolina in the spring. We currently live in Maryland. Is this going to create a huge obstacle? Would it be easier for her to sign over custody to me and then go forward with the adoption after I've moved and gotten settled in a new job? (I'm going to be getting licensed to do daycare so that I can be with my kids.) Or should I be looking for and planning to stay in Maryland?
What steps are involved in a private adoption like this?

I plan to hire a lawyer in January, but as this was unexpected and has come up recently I need a few weeks to get together the lawyer fees.
Sorry if this is confusing, I just need to know which direction to head!

[Blue Meanie]

Originally Posted by SheHoldsTheKey

What is the name of your state? Maryland, but will be moving to North Carolina before the baby is born.

Situation:
I am a single mother to a 2 year old little girl. I support her completely on my own, with no child support, the only help I get is state health insurance for my daughter because I don't have that option through my job.
In June of this year my cousin will be delivering a baby that she doesn't want. She has agreed to let me adopt the baby.
The issue is that I will be moving to North Carolina in the spring. We currently live in Maryland. Is this going to create a huge obstacle? Would it be easier for her to sign over custody to me and then go forward with the adoption after I've moved and gotten settled in a new job? (I'm going to be getting licensed to do daycare so that I can be with my kids.) Or should I be looking for and planning to stay in Maryland?
What steps are involved in a private adoption like this?

I plan to hire a lawyer in January, but as this was unexpected and has come up recently I need a few weeks to get together the lawyer fees.
Sorry if this is confusing, I just need to know which direction to head!

Where is the father of ths baby?

[CJane]

And.... for a private adoption, don't you still need a homestudy and stuff?

[Silverplum]

Research it at:
[url]http://adopting.adoption.com/[/url]

Good luck.

[Blue Meanie]

Originally Posted by CJane

And.... for a private adoption, don't you still need a homestudy and stuff?

Yes...And I think the OP will have to get her own insurance...I don't think the State will grant an adoption so that the child will end up on state insurance...But I am sure Nextwife will correct me if I am wrong.

[CJane]

Originally Posted by baystategirl

Yes...And I think the OP will have to get her own insurance...I don't think the State will grant an adoption so that the child will end up on state insurance...But I am sure Nextwife will correct me if I am wrong.

I was thinking along the lines of:

Just relocated
Is already a single Mom of 1
Is 'self-employed' which a LOT of people hear as 'unemployed'
Is new to the area/industry and not established

Where is the father of HER child?
Is she moving to be with someone?
Why the relocation?

There are just a lot of questions having to do w/the potential adoptive parent... let alone the natural parent's issues.

[Blue Meanie]

There are just a lot of questions having to do w/the potential adoptive parent... let alone the natural parent's issues

I agree. ....I think a lot of people think adopting a family members child will bypass the "red tape" of regular...for want of a better term...adoption. In some ways it seem a little more complicated.

[SheHoldsTheKey]

Originally Posted by CJane

I was thinking along the lines of:

Just relocated
Is already a single Mom of 1
Is 'self-employed' which a LOT of people hear as 'unemployed'
Is new to the area/industry and not established

Where is the father of HER child?
Is she moving to be with someone?
Why the relocation?

There are just a lot of questions having to do w/the potential adoptive parent... let alone the natural parent's issues.

Just had a few things to clarify.
I'm moving because I'm buying a house in North Carolina. This has been planned for some time. My parents and I are both buying houses, we've just been waiting for my dad to retire. Most of our family has relocated to that area.
I'm not unemployed, haven't been unemployed since I was 14, except for a few months when I was having problems with my pregnancy.
As far as being new in the 'industry', I've been doing daycare for years, this is just the first time I will be doing it out of my own home.
in response to the health care issue, I am in a financial situation to go out and get health insurance for my daughter and I on a private plan, in fact, that is in the works. When she was born I didn't have that choice. I've been trying to put that extra 500 dollars a month to get some bills paid off while I can.

As for the father, she isn't sure who the father is. And the potential dad's aren't interested in the baby at all and know that she is seeking an adoption.

It's surprising how negative people can be.
I understand that given just the basics it seems like a bad situation. But, I'm buying a house, I've been supporting my daughter and I very very comfortably for two years now, I'm homeschooling her (or plan to), I have a business plan that will allow me to work and still be able to be with my children.
I guess I should be ready for these questions though, because this is what they will ask during a homestudy right?

[Silverplum]

Originally Posted by SheHoldsTheKey

It's surprising how negative people can be.

I guess I should be ready for these questions though, because this is what they will ask during a homestudy right?

Uh, YEAH.

Nobody is being NEGATIVE to blow your Fun Time. They are asking pertinent legal questions that you will have to deal with.

[CJane]

Originally Posted by SheHoldsTheKey

As for the father, she isn't sure who the father is. And the potential dad's aren't interested in the baby at all and know that she is seeking an adoption.

An attempt at establishing paternity will still have to be made. And then that man will have to sign off on the adoption.

I'd hate to see you counting your proverbial chickens.

[SheHoldsTheKey]

I didn't say anyone was being negative to blow my 'fun time'. Because I obviously think being a parent is all fun and games.

I've already found a company to do the paternity test and gotten the paperwork. All that's left on that front is to wait for the baby to be born so we can test.

I guess I have come across wrong, I'm not trying to start any problems. All I was wondering is what legal steps will have to be taken and if it will be a problem that I'm living in a different state.
I know that it's a possibility that it may not get approved, and hopefully when I do hire a lawyer he/she can better say how good my chances are. But I do want to do everything I can to make it run more smoothly.

[Silverplum]

Originally Posted by SheHoldsTheKey

I didn't say anyone was being negative to blow my 'fun time'. Because I obviously think being a parent is all fun and games.

Then don't start up with the "Everyone is so negative" stuff.

And you can use the link I gave you to research TONS of info about adoption.