Question about Parental Rights Termination

[MangoTango]

What is the name of your state? VA

I have read through several pages here and cannot find any other situations like mine.

I divorced my ex in 2000. He has had very limited visitation with our daughter. In June 2007, he stated that he would terminte his rights to our daughter. My attorney drew up "consert under oath by birth father" and forwarded to my ex's attorney.

That document states:
1. That he is so-n-so
2. his is the birth father of a child named XYZ born on DOB.
3. That I am the birth mother of XYZ
4. He consents to the adoption of XYZ by my biological father and the change of her name from XYZ to XYB.

Ex has signed this consent. His attorney is stating that the judge will not sign this because it looks like I'm entrusting my daughter to my dad and I could go back to ex next month or whenever for child support.

I guess I'm not understanding exactly what he means. My attorney says "no, once you give he gives up his right and the judge signs the documents, that I couldn't go back for child support." My Dad has always helped support this child, even when ex and I were married.

I've read wonderful advice here from everyone. Just wondering if anyone had heard of anythying like this.

Thanks in advance.

 

[Ohiogal]

Are you having your rights terminated by this adoption? Because if not then you will remain your child's mother and YOUR father would become this child's father and therefore also your sister and I do not see ANY judge agreeing to that.

 

[MangoTango]

Thanks OhioGal. No my rights are not being terminated. But I also know that there was another case like this in Virginia where the judge did approve and sign off on the adoption papers.

I spoke with my attorney and she gave me the code number 63.1-1225 but I haven't been able to find it.

 

[Just Blue]

Thanks OhioGal. No my rights are not being terminated. But I also know that there was another case like this in Virginia where the judge did approve and sign off on the adoption papers.

I spoke with my attorney and she gave me the code number 63.1-1225 but I haven't been able to find it.

Why on earth do you want to have YOUR father adopt your child? Do you realize that this seems kind of perverse? YOUR father would be the father of your child, and you still the mother....

 

[nextwife]

Why on earth do you want to have YOUR father adopt your child? Do you realize that this seems kind of perverse? YOUR father would be the father of your child, and you still the mother....

Eeeeiiiwwwwwww!

 

[Accountable]

What a terrible stigma to stick your child with. What advantage is there for your father to adopt your child?

 

[MangoTango]

Why on earth do you want to have YOUR father adopt your child? Do you realize that this seems kind of perverse? YOUR father would be the father of your child, and you still the mother....

I realize that it sounds perverted. That is definitely not the intention. The reason for the adoption is ex has suspended visitation indefinitely, does not want to complete the requirements to reinstate his visition, and does not want to pay support. Also, he is a sex offender, which took place after we separated.

In all reality, I do not believe that every person I meet will ask who my father is and who her father is. And anyone who knows the situation and individuals involved, would agree that it's in the best interest of the child.

 

[momofrose]

I realize that it sounds perverted. That is definitely not the intention. The reason for the adoption is ex has suspended visitation indefinitely, does not want to complete the requirements to reinstate his visition, and does not want to pay support. Also, he is a sex offender, which took place after we separated.

In all reality, I do not believe that every person I meet will ask who my father is and who her father is. And anyone who knows the situation and individuals involved, would agree that it's in the best interest of the child.

What is the reason for terh adoption though - is it just to change your daughter's name? You do not have to go through the adoption process to change her name - why don't you first do that. Wait onthe adoption until you find a gentleman, have a relationship, get married, be married for a few years and then have your husband adopt her. I have to say having you father adopt his own grandaughter,while you are still the mother really is a bit freaky.

D

 

[Gracie3787]

I realize that it sounds perverted. That is definitely not the intention. The reason for the adoption is ex has suspended visitation indefinitely, does not want to complete the requirements to reinstate his visition, and does not want to pay support. Also, he is a sex offender, which took place after we separated.

In all reality, I do not believe that every person I meet will ask who my father is and who her father is. And anyone who knows the situation and individuals involved, would agree that it's in the best interest of the child.

Truly, this thread boggles my mind. How can this adoption possibly be in your child's best interests?

Have you given thought that in gaining a legal father, that your child will be losing a grandfather??

I'm curious exactly how you, your Dad and your attorney are planning to convince a Judge that this is in your child's best interests?

 

[childs8715]

I would agree with the others...it doesn't seem like the best idea. I think it would be best to wait. It doesn't seem like doing this is going to change much. The bio father already doesn't have anything to do with your daughter and your father is already taking care of her. But, for example, if I decided to disappear and not have anything to do with my kids, my mother-in-law would not adopt my children UNLESS my husband took off too. That would just be weird. Like you said, it isn't like anyone is going know because people don't ask those types of things in normal everyday conversations. BUT, someone will find out eventually and if it isn't completely necessary I don't understand why you would put your daughter through it. When I was in HS I was friends with a guy and his grandparents were raising him because his mom ran off. Even in that case, they did not adopt him. They were his legal guardians, and then when he turned 18, they let him decide. He chose to let them adopt him and become his legal parents. I think that is a good idea. Have you considered letting him be her guardian? But, even then, I don't see the point if you plan on sticking around.