Relinquish adoptive rights?

[luckyinNJ]

What is the name of your state? New Jersey
Can this be done? My fiance was adopted his former wife's child. Since their divorce, she has been completely uncooperative and refuses to allow my fiance to see his child for over 4 yrs now, however my fiance has been paying 800 per month this entire time.We're scraping at the bottom of the barrel as far as money goes and we can't afford a lawyer. The child was from an affair she had while they were married and he no longer has any feelings towards this child since he has not seen him in over 4 yrs now. Can he give up his rights as the adoptive father just as a biological parent would?

 

[justalayman]

sure, but realize a bio parent cannot simply "give up their rights" either.

If he wants to see his child, he needs to address it in court. If he doesn't, he simply needs to keep paying to support his child, just like a bio parent would have to.

 

[nextwife]

If HIS child is being withheld from him, why the heck isn't he taking the CP to court to enforce his parental rights? An adoptive child is no less his child than a biological child would be - if he has had access issues with his ex- he should have been fighting for his right to parent his child.

 

[moburkes]

duplicate
https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?p=1560008#post1560008

 

[nextwife]

duplicate
https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?p=1560008#post1560008

Actually, this post was first, so the other is the duplicate post.

 

[moburkes]

Actually, this post was first, so the other is the duplicate post.

Agreed. However, the other one had responses first!

 

[moburkes]

Eactly. He adopted his wife's child, so that they could be a family in every sense of the word. He and the mom were divorced, and he never asserted his rights for visitation of HIS child, as addressed in the divorce decree. Four years later, this lovely woman comes along, and they decide to get married, but there are 2 problems. He is the father of a child that is not bologically his. And, $800/month.

 

[nextwife]

there are 2 problems. He is the father of a child that is not bologically his.

Gee, I don't see being parent to a child NOT biologically mine as a problem. Nor does my husband. Our child is our child whether her "port of entry" to the world was through me or not.

And if anyone tried to keep MY child from me, they'd better watch out.

 

[moburkes]

Gee, I don't see being parent to a child NOT biologically mine as a problem. Nor does my husband. Our child is our child whether her "port of entry" to the world was through me or not.

And if anyone tried to keep MY child from me, they'd better watch out.

Guys, I'm being SARCASTIC.

 

[nextwife]

Guys, I'm being SARCASTIC.

I know that, I'm stating this for our poster's benefit.

 

[luckyinNJ]

reply

I'm not the one that doesnt want his son in our life. He hardly ever saw his son, they divorced soon after the birth, and this boy doesn't even know who my fiance is. He has a father figure in her new husband.

 

[Just Blue]

I'm not the one that doesnt want his son in our life. He hardly ever saw his son, they divorced soon after the birth, and this boy doesn't even know who my fiance is. He has a father figure in her new husband.

The fact remains that you fiance left his child without a backward look! If he was even half a man he would have filed for visitation and maintained a relationship with HIS child! You really should consider very carefully, if this is the sort of person to marry....

 

[moburkes]

I'm not the one that doesnt want his son in our life. He hardly ever saw his son, they divorced soon after the birth, and this boy doesn't even know who my fiance is. He has a father figure in her new husband.

How could he walk away from his child? Whose fault is it, that he never pursued it in court? You are going to marry someone who WALKED AWAY FROM A CHILD. How would you explain that to your child, if he does the same to your child?

 

[nextwife]

And if dad had enforced his right to be a dad to his kid, then her husband would NOT be the father figure. He's the one who appears to have not worked very hard at being dad to his son.

He hardly ever saw his son, they divorced soon after the birth, and this boy doesn't even know who my fiance is. He has a father figure in her new husband.

So what? My sis has a boyfriend who also divorced when his son was young. And his son lives on the opposite coast from him. He sees his son every month and all summer.

WE can't just undo our parentage.

 

[moburkes]

And if dad had enforced his right to be a dad to his kid, then her husband would NOT be the father figure. He's the one who appears to have not worked very hard at being dad to his son.



So what? My sis has a boyfriend who also divorced when his son was young. And his son lives on the opposite coast from him. He sees his son every month and all summer.

WE can't just undo our parentage.

Why not? That will put an additional $800/month in her fiance's pocket.