Reversal of Adoption

[MyBoys2]

What is the name of your state? Illinois

I have to very young boys both under the age of 2. The Father has not been a part of there life. I have never recieved any child support from him nor him wanting to visit them. I have stated in court that I want nothing to do with him and asked is there any legal way to get him to sign his rights away without myself being married. In addition stating I wanted nothing from him. I have recieved the answer to this as NO! However to get that done my Parents (the boys grandparents) will adopt them for now legally. This is the only thing we can do to keep the father from coming in and out of there lives if that is what he chooses. In the best interest of the children, I dont think that is apporpriete mentally for them being so young and all. When/If the adoption goes thru, because so far the father is agreeing to sign his rights over, I want in the future for when I get married have the children back in legal terms with me and my husband. Is that an easy process and will this by me signing my rights off (because this is what I have to do as well for now) get them back leagally with an easy reversal adoption transition in the courts? With my parents that is not a problem they will gladly sign them back over. We just want the unfit father to stay away from me and the children. Please help me feel more at ease about this situation.What is the name of your state?

[>Charlotte<]

If he has demonstrated no interest in having a relationship with these children, why do you think it's necessary to consider something so drastic?

Passing around ownership is something you do with cars, not children.

[CourtClerk]

So...

You believe that having your children go through one adoption, and then THINKING that a court is going to allow you to take them through yet ANOTHER adoption is a good thing? Notice I said you THINK a court is going to allow you to keep adopting, then unadopting, then adopting again children. See, adoption is permanent, not something you do until you get your dysfunctional life together. Might I suggest you stop having sex?

[Blue Meanie]

What is the name of your state? Illinois

I have to very young boys both under the age of 2. The Father has not been a part of there life. I have never recieved any child support from him nor him wanting to visit them. I have stated in court that I want nothing to do with him and asked is there any legal way to get him to sign his rights away without myself being married. In addition stating I wanted nothing from him. I have recieved the answer to this as NO! However to get that done my Parents (the boys grandparents) will adopt them for now legally. This is the only thing we can do to keep the father from coming in and out of there lives if that is what he chooses. In the best interest of the children, I dont think that is apporpriete mentally for them being so young and all. When/If the adoption goes thru, because so far the father is agreeing to sign his rights over, I want in the future for when I get married have the children back in legal terms with me and my husband. Is that an easy process and will this by me signing my rights off (because this is what I have to do as well for now) get them back leagally with an easy reversal adoption transition in the courts? With my parents that is not a problem they will gladly sign them back over. We just want the unfit father to stay away from me and the children. Please help me feel more at ease about this situation.What is the name of your state?

Un-freaking-believable. Stop having children.

[CourtClerk]

One more question:

We just want the unfit father to stay away from me and the children.

You banged him AT LEAST (but I'm sure many more than) 2 times. You found him fit to share DNA, you found him fit to swap spit with, you found him fit to screw your brains out... at what point did he become unfit? Lemme guess... at the point when you found the next man. Who will inevitably become unfit too when you're done with, or he is done with you. But because you're on this forum trying to justify your actions, the next man is wonderful and nothing like your ex (who you picked) and you two will be together forever. Yeah, we've heard it before.

Let me suggest one more thing... since it is you that is picking these men, and bringing at least 1 child around someone who is SO UNFIT that you chose to have another child with him, may I suggest that perhaps YOU are the unfit one???? Hmmmm... now THAT'S something to think about.

[AHA]

What is the name of your state? Illinois

I have to very young boys both under the age of 2. The Father has not been a part of there life. I have never recieved any child support from him nor him wanting to visit them. I have stated in court that I want nothing to do with him and asked is there any legal way to get him to sign his rights away without myself being married. In addition stating I wanted nothing from him. I have recieved the answer to this as NO! However to get that done my Parents (the boys grandparents) will adopt them for now legally. This is the only thing we can do to keep the father from coming in and out of there lives if that is what he chooses. In the best interest of the children, I dont think that is apporpriete mentally for them being so young and all. When/If the adoption goes thru, because so far the father is agreeing to sign his rights over, I want in the future for when I get married have the children back in legal terms with me and my husband. Is that an easy process and will this by me signing my rights off (because this is what I have to do as well for now) get them back leagally with an easy reversal adoption transition in the courts? With my parents that is not a problem they will gladly sign them back over. We just want the unfit father to stay away from me and the children. Please help me feel more at ease about this situation.What is the name of your state?

If dad is not present in their lives, why the need for extreme measures such as adopting and unadopting?

Nobody becomes unfit overnight. Don't put the blame on just the dad, YOU apparently decided it was a brilliant idea to have TWO kids with him in only TWO years, share the blame in not being able to make rational and intelligent decisions!

[Gracie3787]

Un-freaking-believable. Stop having children.

Alot stronger words come to my mind, but, you summed it up very nicely without using the four letter words that I WANT to use.

[stealth2]

Of course, OP also assumes that - when she finally gets her life together - her parents will be willing to just hand over the boys. Yeah - that's gonna happen.

OP - count your blessings that your parents are willing to step up to the plate you're unable to step up to. Be your kids' big sister, and leave it at that.

And yeah - quit procreating.

[MyBoys2]

WOW everyone is so quick to judge on the mother... Well I do have my life together and I am a wonderful mother to my two boys. None of you knew the situation we lived in and I got out when I could. Things like that dont happen overnight. My second child was not concieved consentually if was a forced rape situation to save my life. So what do I do abort the child? NO I DONT THINK SO WE as a family want nothing to do with that individual For the record, noone knows who the father is and how he is and how he treats others let alone children and cant own up to his responsibilities of taking care of them I DO!!!! I thought this was a forum to get help with the question that is posted!!!! Thanks to all the wonderful comments.

[Zigner]

...I am a wonderful mother to my two boys.

A wonderful mother would never even think, in a thousand years, of the shtuff you are trying to do...

[Silverplum]

WOW everyone is so quick to judge on the mother... Well I do have my life together and I am a wonderful mother to my two boys. None of you knew the situation we lived in and I got out when I could. Things like that dont happen overnight. My second child was not concieved consentually if was a forced rape situation to save my life. So what do I do abort the child? NO I DONT THINK SO WE as a family want nothing to do with that individual For the record, noone knows who the father is and how he is and how he treats others let alone children and cant own up to his responsibilities of taking care of them I DO!!!! I thought this was a forum to get help with the question that is posted!!!! Thanks to all the wonderful comments.

For posterity.

[Zigner]

Thanks to all the wonderful comments.

Where are my manners...?
I forgot to say "You're Welcome!"

[>Charlotte<]

You did get help. You asked if you can throw the parentage of your children back and forth between you and your parents, like some elaborate game of keep-away. And I told you that you can't pass a child around like a '72 Dodge Dart.

Again: if he has no interest in the children, as you stated, you don't have a problem.

If he is not a fit parent, there are ways to terminate his rights. If he is deemed a fit parent (and "unfit" is not defined as "I don't like him anymore") and you have no grounds on which to terminate his rights, you'll just have to live with the choice you made when you decided to allow him to be the father of your children.

[>Charlotte<]

Oh--and regardless of what he tells you he's willing to do, if you don't want to lose custody and have to pay child support to him, you'd better hope you never stand in court and hear him say:

"Your Honor, I want custody of my children because she wants to give them up for adoption."

[AHA]

WOW everyone is so quick to judge on the mother... Well I do have my life together and I am a wonderful mother to my two boys. None of you knew the situation we lived in and I got out when I could. Things like that dont happen overnight. My second child was not concieved consentually if was a forced rape situation to save my life. So what do I do abort the child? NO I DONT THINK SO WE as a family want nothing to do with that individual For the record, noone knows who the father is and how he is and how he treats others let alone children and cant own up to his responsibilities of taking care of them I DO!!!! I thought this was a forum to get help with the question that is posted!!!! Thanks to all the wonderful comments.

I'm sorry that you were FORCED to have children (everyone has at least one other choice), but whatever the reason may be, it still does not justify treating the children like their are pieces of property that you can just shift ownership over back and forth.