Single Parent Giving Up Child For Adoption

[yiayia10902]

What is the name of your state? OH

My daughter is having a baby that she wants to give up for adoption. The father, who she is no longer with, will not sign papers so that she can do so. He would rather she have an abortion. He already has one other child that he does not have custody of. What can she do?

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state? OH

My daughter is having a baby that she wants to give up for adoption. The father, who she is no longer with, will not sign papers so that she can do so. He would rather she have an abortion. He already has one other child that he does not have custody of. What can she do?

He is not the father until he is legally adjudicated the father. There are no papers to sign until your daughter gives birth to a live child. He is allowed to give his opinion as to carrying to term this pregnancy...but your daughter has the final say. His other child has nothing to do with this situation. But many men don't have custody of their children...When parents separate one parent gets custody and the other has visitation. If you meant that he has nothing to do with the other child, then this says more about your daughters character and judgment than you realize!
What can she do? She can give birth to this child and if the father STILL doesn't want to sign the adoption papers she can either give him custody or keep the child herself.

She can no more force him to give his child up for adoption than he could force her to abort.

 

[nextwife]

If daughter wants him to be comfortable with the adoption, she should include him in making an adoption plan and in the selection of the adoptive parents.

 

[fairisfair]

well of course he would rather she have an abortion than adoption. Perhaps he will change his mind when the choice changes to child support or adoption.

 

[moburkes]

OP turn on your PMs.

 

[PamiToni]

Pami - please do not come on here giving bad advice to our OP to commit (at best) fraud and perjury.

It is not Pami Zig. it's PamiToni. Also what is wrong with the girl giving up the baby on her own? The ex-boyfriend doesn't want the child and wants her to have an abortion. I wouldn't call it bad advice, I would call it saving a baby from knowing that the bio-dad was a loser.

 

[moburkes]

It is not Pami Zig. it's PamiToni. Also what is wrong with the girl giving up the baby on her own? The ex-boyfriend doesn't want the child and wants her to have an abortion. I wouldn't call it bad advice, I would call it saving a baby from knowing that the bio-dad was a loser.

What's wrong with it? It's illegal. Bio-dad isn't necessarily a loser for suggesting an abortion. He could very well decide to be a father to his child. He has that right as well. He wouldn't be the first father to initially suggest abortion, and then end up being dad of the year.

 

[Ohiogal]

It is not Pami Zig. it's PamiToni. Also what is wrong with the girl giving up the baby on her own? The ex-boyfriend doesn't want the child and wants her to have an abortion. I wouldn't call it bad advice, I would call it saving a baby from knowing that the bio-dad was a loser.

True. I would agree -- it is NOT bad advice. It is illegal CRIMINAL advice. Which if she follows would amount to her committing a felony and facing jail time and then guess who would get custody of the baby?

 

[yiayia10902]

My apologies. I should have been more clear and given more facts.

Bio-dad HAD & LOST custody of his first child. My daughter left him after she announced her pregnancy because he claimed it wasn't his and that she was cheating on him. (She was either at work or with him, no time for her to cheat even if she was the unfaithful type). My daughter has threatened him with a restraining order because he stalks her. In my opinion, bio-dad IS a loser, an a scary one at that.

I admit my daughter is naive and stupid when it comes to men, but she is an adult and I try to keep my nose out of it as much as I can. She came to me for advice that I obviously was not qualified to offer. She wanted to go the route of claiming she did not know who the father was and I told her she could not do that. Aside from it being illegal (even I know that much), he is already aware that he has a child on the way. I would hate for that child to be placed in a loving home only to be taken away when the father finds out what has happened.

Ok. That said, so she may have to keep the baby herself, my new question is; because she will be the custodial parent, is she able to give temporary custody (not adoption, mind you) to a relative (me for instance), without the father's permission.

 

[moburkes]

My apologies. I should have been more clear and given more facts.

Bio-dad HAD & LOST custody of his first child. My daughter left him after she announced her pregnancy because he claimed it wasn't his and that she was cheating on him. (She was either at work or with him, no time for her to cheat even if she was the unfaithful type). My daughter has threatened him with a restraining order because he stalks her. In my opinion, bio-dad IS a loser, an a scary one at that.

I admit my daughter is naive and stupid when it comes to men, but she is an adult and I try to keep my nose out of it as much as I can. She came to me for advice that I obviously was not qualified to offer. She wanted to go the route of claiming she did not know who the father was and I told her she could not do that. Aside from it being illegal (even I know that much), he is already aware that he has a child on the way. I would hate for that child to be placed in a loving home only to be taken away when the father finds out what has happened.

Ok. That said, so she may have to keep the baby herself, my new question is; because she will be the custodial parent, is she able to give temporary custody (not adoption, mind you) to a relative (me for instance), without the father's permission.

No. Not once he has been declared the legal father. There is NO WAY around this person. While she may have been naive, she was still an adult. She has to live with the decisions that she makes. And, if you ask me (which you didn't), SHE is a loser if the ONLY reason she will raise this child to adulthood, is to AVOID letting the LEGAL father raise him/her instead.

 

[yiayia10902]

SHE wants to give the child up for adoption because SHE cannot afford a child even with child support from the father. She does not want to give up the child because of the father or even because she feels stuck with a child or just doesn't want it. I know what you're thinking; she should have been more careful. I AGREE. But placing this child in the custody of it's father when the father has already been accused of abuse of the mother of his first child (my daughter as not aware of this until momma #1 contacted her after she got pregnant) and is already stalking my daughter sure doesn't sound like a good option to me.

If he will not sign papers allowing her to put the baby up for adoption, then so be it. She will keep the baby and give it all the love in the world. It will be a financial hardship but with the help of her family we will find a way to get by. I don't want her to give it up for adoption anyway. This is my grandchild we're talking about and I want the baby to remaiin my grandchild.

 

[moburkes]

I haven't even gone there with the fact that she's pregnant. I'm simply telling you that she CANNOT get around the fact that he is the father, and will have RIGHTS as a parent. He can choose to allow the adoption. Many parents will do that in order to avoid child support (if he has no interest in this child).

 

[nextwife]

If she really feels the child is better off adopted, then she should try to get dad on board with the idea by including him in the selection process ahead of time.

Nothing you've written indicates he's totally against the idea of adoption.

I'm confused why you are for the idea of adoption: if it can be done without dad's say, but against it if dad is part of the process?

 

[moburkes]

If she really feels the child is better off adopted, then she should try to get dad on board with the idea by including him in the selection process ahead of time.

Nothing you've written indicates he's totally against the idea of adoption.

I'm confused why you are for the idea of adoption: if it can be done without dad's say, but against it if dad is part of the process?

Agreed. I'm STILL trying to figure out why he is the bad person here.

 

[fairisfair]

Agreed. I'm STILL trying to figure out why he is the bad person here.

really?? I already hate him.