son wants husband to adopt

i live in ny i recentally married a man that has been in our lives for 4yrs & my son 8 considers him his daddy & wants to also have his last name,my husband wants to adopt him,my son's biological father had on & off relationship with my son till he was about 2, disappeared for abt a 1 1/2 ,he was granted visitation 3yrs ago he came around for a year & just as family court granted him more visitation,he has'nt showen up it's been 2 yrs,the only contact he has made w/ me or my child was a phn call early 99' stating "if i paid for it he would give up his rights 2 my husband" would his statemnt & abandoment be consideration in termination of his rights & help in a adoption proceding? & he also has a history of attempted suicide & domestic violence tied 2 this issue,that are on record & documented 2 be true. will his history also be considered in the adoption? what is my first step into having my husband adopt our child?

Hi,

I do not know what state you are in (I live in CA)but you may try to surf the net and see if there are some web sites that deal with "stepparent adoption". Try using the phrase "stepparent adoption in (type in your state)", I am in the process of having my husband adopt my 12 year old son. I was able to purchase a book of the net by NOLO Press on "How to adopt your stepchild" which was printed for CA. My ex has not paid child support in almost 4 years and has not spoken to his son in 3 1/2 years. I plan to petition the court under the "Abandonment" proceeding. CA also offers a "Willful Failure To Provide" proceeding. You might want to go to the Superior Court in your county and talk to the court clerks office to see if they have forms and instructions.

Good Luck