Step child adoption AFTER separation

[BBQ Pope]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MI

i have been the only father my 10 year old step son has ever known. i never legally adopted him but have been his dad for over 9 years. now that his mother and i are getting divorced, we both think that it is now more important than ever for me to legally adopt him. it would definitely be in his best interests because he thinks of me as his dad in every way. but my attorney says that even though his mother and i agree to it, the court still won't let it happen. why not, if it's beneficial to the child and the parent agrees? i don't see the danger in it. only bad will come of this when my (step) son grows up not having a legal father. could someone please explain what the courts reasoning would be behind not letting me adopt? all i get from my attorney is "they just won't do it after a separation." this really upsets me and his mother. i feel like just because it didn't work out between his mother and i that he's getting cheated out of a father in some way and i, a son.

[Blue Meanie]

Originally Posted by BBQ Pope

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MI

i have been the only father my 10 year old step son has ever known. i never legally adopted him but have been his dad for over 9 years. now that his mother and i are getting divorced, we both think that it is now more important than ever for me to legally adopt him. it would definitely be in his best interests because he thinks of me as his dad in every way. but my attorney says that even though his mother and i agree to it, the court still won't let it happen. why not, if it's beneficial to the child and the parent agrees? i don't see the danger in it. only bad will come of this when my (step) son grows up not having a legal father. could someone please explain what the courts reasoning would be behind not letting me adopt? all i get from my attorney is "they just won't do it after a separation." this really upsets me and his mother. i feel like just because it didn't work out between his mother and i that he's getting cheated out of a father in some way and i, a son.

Courts do not grant a petition of adoption to an unstable relationship.

[Zigner]

Originally Posted by BBQ Pope

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MI

i have been the only father my 10 year old step son has ever known. i never legally adopted him but have been his dad for over 9 years. now that his mother and i are getting divorced, we both think that it is now more important than ever for me to legally adopt him. it would definitely be in his best interests because he thinks of me as his dad in every way. but my attorney says that even though his mother and i agree to it, the court still won't let it happen. why not, if it's beneficial to the child and the parent agrees? i don't see the danger in it. only bad will come of this when my (step) son grows up not having a legal father. could someone please explain what the courts reasoning would be behind not letting me adopt? all i get from my attorney is "they just won't do it after a separation." this really upsets me and his mother. i feel like just because it didn't work out between his mother and i that he's getting cheated out of a father in some way and i, a son.

I just want something to be clear. I understand that you have raised the step-son. I understand that you love the step-son as your own. I understand that the child has been misled to believe YOU are his father, when you are, in fact, his STEP-FATHER.

Legally, you are not now, nor have you ever been this child's father.

[IsabellaSoriano]

Originally Posted by BBQ Pope

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MI

i have been the only father my 10 year old step son has ever known. i never legally adopted him but have been his dad for over 9 years. now that his mother and i are getting divorced, we both think that it is now more important than ever for me to legally adopt him. it would definitely be in his best interests because he thinks of me as his dad in every way. but my attorney says that even though his mother and i agree to it, the court still won't let it happen. why not, if it's beneficial to the child and the parent agrees? i don't see the danger in it. only bad will come of this when my (step) son grows up not having a legal father. could someone please explain what the courts reasoning would be behind not letting me adopt? all i get from my attorney is "they just won't do it after a separation." this really upsets me and his mother. i feel like just because it didn't work out between his mother and i that he's getting cheated out of a father in some way and i, a son.

your question was already answered.

[Ohiogal]

i'm currently going through a divorce in Michigan. i have been a father to my ex-wife's son since he was 18 months old... the only father he's ever known. he's now pushing 11 years. however, i never legally adopted him. a foolish mistake on my part but i never thought we'd get divorced. his mother says she still recognizes me as his father in every sense, but that doesn't mean anything legally. my attorney said that, despite the fact we both still want an adoption to take place (especially now that we're getting divorced), because we are separated the court will not allow us to go through with an adoption. it's simply too late, but i have to do something to try and keep him close. he needs me and i need him, but his mom is so flakey and changes her "plans" so often that i never know what she'll do. all i know is that she has only been thinking about herself and what makes her happy.

we also have a 3 year old boy together. i am wondering if my son (the 3 year old) and his half-brother can get visitation rights. their mother has said that she will move if she can get a better job and will, of course, take her son with her. can i put some sort of visitation together for my son and his half-brother?

You are not going to be able to adopt with his mommy remaining mommy no matter how many different threads you start. And you won't get enforceable visitation and custody through the divorce hearing either because the child's LEGAL FATHER needs served and has constitutionally protected rights.

[Blue Meanie]

i

feel like just because it didn't work out between his mother and i that he's getting cheated out of a father in some way and i, a son.

Perhaps if you and good ole' mom had BOTHERED to handle things in a flippin' adult manner, this child would not have to face the reality that his "parents" are a bunch of liars. He would not have the worry that if mommy dies he will be sent off to live with his FATHER who he doesn't know.

Personally I think the both of you are selfish idiots.

[stealth2]

Originally Posted by BBQ Pope

i feel like just because it didn't work out between his mother and i that he's getting cheated out of a father in some way and i, a son.

No, he is being cheated because neither you nor Mom felt it important enough to take care of earlier. There are only two people to blame for this situation, and you're one of them. So please, just stop. The answer will not change no matter how many different ways you ask.

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by stealth2

No, he is being cheated because neither you nor Mom felt it important enough to take care of earlier. There are only two people to blame for this situation, and you're one of them. So please, just stop. The answer will not change no matter how many different ways you ask.

He has also refused to answer where the legal father of the child is located, if the legal father pays support or anything of that nature.