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  #1  
Old 05-20-2009, 04:04 PM
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Step-Daughter Adoption and Termination of Rights

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ

My wife has a daughter from an earlier marriage. She is divorced and had a child support agreement with the father which he did not abide to. She desired to remarry (me) and move out of state, so she made a written, notarized agreement with the father that he would relinquish all rights and custody to the child in exchange for amnesty from past child support payments and a dismissal of all future payments.
That document was sent to the division of child welfare in her state and was sufficient to have the payments stopped.
My wife and I have been married nearly five years, I have been the father for her daughter since she was three and I would like to adopt her child as my own. My wife is concerned that the notarized relinquishment of rights by the father will not be sufficient enough for courts to allow me to adopt the child without his notification. I'd really prefer to not get him involved, mostly because of the difficultly in locating him (he rarely has traceable income, one of the problems my wife had collecting support from him), but also because I'd really rather not incur legal costs when he's signed off his rights.

What are my options here? Thanks in advance for your help!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
  #2  
Old 05-20-2009, 04:05 PM
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1) You will need to use an attorney

2) The father of the child will need to be notified.

3) There's more to this story...but it's not relevant to the question at hand.
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  #3  
Old 05-20-2009, 04:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SouthNJStepDad View Post
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ

My wife has a daughter from an earlier marriage. She is divorced and had a child support agreement with the father which he did not abide to. She desired to remarry (me) and move out of state, so she made a written, notarized agreement with the father that he would relinquish all rights and custody to the child in exchange for amnesty from past child support payments and a dismissal of all future payments.
That document was sent to the division of child welfare in her state and was sufficient to have the payments stopped.
My wife and I have been married nearly five years, I have been the father for her daughter since she was three and I would like to adopt her child as my own. My wife is concerned that the notarized relinquishment of rights by the father will not be sufficient enough for courts to allow me to adopt the child without his notification. I'd really prefer to not get him involved, mostly because of the difficultly in locating him (he rarely has traceable income, one of the problems my wife had collecting support from him), but also because I'd really rather not incur legal costs when he's signed off his rights.

What are my options here? Thanks in advance for your help!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
You definitely need an attorney. However, I am not certain (and neither can anyone else here be) that you will need to notify the father. Depending on your state law it may be possible to terminate his parental rights based on abandonment. However please understand that he waived custody and visitation rights, that document did not terminate his parental rights...only a judge can terminate someone's parental rights.

An adoption attorney in your area is your best resource regarding what needs to be done. An adoption is never a DIY project.
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  #4  
Old 05-20-2009, 04:31 PM
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Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
You definitely need an attorney. However, I am not certain (and neither can anyone else here be) that you will need to notify the father. Depending on your state law it may be possible to terminate his parental rights based on abandonment. However please understand that he waived custody and visitation rights, that document did not terminate his parental rights...only a judge can terminate someone's parental rights.

An adoption attorney in your area is your best resource regarding what needs to be done. An adoption is never a DIY project.
While I knew the subject of abandonment would come up, there is a possibility that mom has kept the child's location secret from the father...that's why he would be notified.
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The information I gave is based on my 7 seconds of research on Google. Review the information yourself to make an informed decision.

Communication is KEY - 10 mins of talking now can save you months of headaches later!

Masterfully stating the obvious to the oblivious! (Thanks SP!)

Tell it like it is! When all else fails, make up a statistic!

Gender references shall apply equally to the other gender. I will not correct gender mistakes (unless I want to)
  #5  
Old 05-20-2009, 04:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
You definitely need an attorney. However, I am not certain (and neither can anyone else here be) that you will need to notify the father. Depending on your state law it may be possible to terminate his parental rights based on abandonment. However please understand that he waived custody and visitation rights, that document did not terminate his parental rights...only a judge can terminate someone's parental rights.

An adoption attorney in your area is your best resource regarding what needs to be done. An adoption is never a DIY project.
Appreciate your quick and frank response and that it isn't laced with undertones of a scorned single father.

What do you think are the chances of the document serving enough proof for a judge to terminate parental rights? What more could a judge need than a notarized, signed statement swearing off all ties with the child?

Additionally, should my wife be concerned that she could be in trouble for leaving the state and remarrying without his consent, even after he signed the document?

Again, I appreciate all the help you can provide.
  #6  
Old 05-20-2009, 04:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Zigner View Post
While I knew the subject of abandonment would come up, there is a possibility that mom has kept the child's location secret from the father...that's why he would be notified.
I assure you, the father is most likely too busy dodging his other two child's mothers to be trying to find the mother of one he actually believes he's been completely separated from.

I'm sorry for whatever happened to you to make you so cynical.
  #7  
Old 05-20-2009, 04:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SouthNJStepDad View Post
Appreciate your quick and frank response and that it isn't laced with undertones of a scorned single father.

What do you think are the chances of the document serving enough proof for a judge to terminate parental rights? What more could a judge need than a notarized, signed statement swearing off all ties with the child?

Additionally, should my wife be concerned that she could be in trouble for leaving the state and remarrying without his consent, even after he signed the document?

Again, I appreciate all the help you can provide.
As I thought, your wife left the state and didn't tell the FATHER of her child. THAT is why she will need to notify him and THAT is why you need an attorney.
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The information I gave is based on my 7 seconds of research on Google. Review the information yourself to make an informed decision.

Communication is KEY - 10 mins of talking now can save you months of headaches later!

Masterfully stating the obvious to the oblivious! (Thanks SP!)

Tell it like it is! When all else fails, make up a statistic!

Gender references shall apply equally to the other gender. I will not correct gender mistakes (unless I want to)
  #8  
Old 05-20-2009, 04:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SouthNJStepDad View Post

I'm sorry for whatever happened to you to make you so cynical.
Well, good luck.

Just a bit of background, I've actually DONE what you are trying to do.
__________________
*
*
The information I gave is based on my 7 seconds of research on Google. Review the information yourself to make an informed decision.

Communication is KEY - 10 mins of talking now can save you months of headaches later!

Masterfully stating the obvious to the oblivious! (Thanks SP!)

Tell it like it is! When all else fails, make up a statistic!

Gender references shall apply equally to the other gender. I will not correct gender mistakes (unless I want to)
  #9  
Old 05-26-2009, 03:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zigner View Post
As I thought, your wife left the state and didn't tell the FATHER of her child. THAT is why she will need to notify him and THAT is why you need an attorney.
It is my hope that a judge would see that the father of the child has no intention of wanting any kind of custody since he signed off his rights with the mother, therefore granting custody to myself. However, I do understand that as of right now it is only an agreement between the two parents and not with any courts, so securing legal council might be the best course of action.

Since you've been down this road before, would you mind enlightening me as to what your final costs were to complete the process? It would be helpful knowing going into this that I will be able to pay for it!

Thanks for any help you can provide.
  #10  
Old 05-26-2009, 03:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SouthNJStepDad View Post
It is my hope that a judge would see that the father of the child has no intention of wanting any kind of custody since he signed off his rights with the mother, therefore granting custody to myself. However, I do understand that as of right now it is only an agreement between the two parents and not with any courts, so securing legal council might be the best course of action.

Since you've been down this road before, would you mind enlightening me as to what your final costs were to complete the process? It would be helpful knowing going into this that I will be able to pay for it!

Thanks for any help you can provide.
You will need to ask the attorney...you should be able to get a free or low-cost consultation.
__________________
*
*
The information I gave is based on my 7 seconds of research on Google. Review the information yourself to make an informed decision.

Communication is KEY - 10 mins of talking now can save you months of headaches later!

Masterfully stating the obvious to the oblivious! (Thanks SP!)

Tell it like it is! When all else fails, make up a statistic!

Gender references shall apply equally to the other gender. I will not correct gender mistakes (unless I want to)
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