step parent adoption ?

[daddy2him]

What is the name of your state?Ga

I need to find out what I can do to adopt my 4 year old step son that I dearly love. My wife has primary physical custody and my step son lives with us. We take care of him and provide for his needs ,spiritually, emotionally,financially, and physically. This is his second year attending a christian school, we attend church all day Sunday, my wife and I are both in the choir and my son in the children's program we go to the mid week service also. The child is envolved in baseball in the spring seasons and has the oppertunity to participate in just about anything he desires. We have good quality family time together, stability and love. All this to say, I think it would be in the best intrest of the child for me to adopt him. The problem is that his bio father has joint legal custody. With that being said, the bio father uses this situation to HIS best intrest and not the child, he uses the joint custody as a way of control over my wife and refuses to give up his rights.

[BelizeBreeze]

Originally Posted by daddy2him

What is the name of your state?Ga

I need to find out what I can do to adopt my 4 year old step son that I dearly love. My wife has primary physical custody and my step son lives with us. We take care of him and provide for his needs ,spiritually, emotionally,financially, and physically. This is his second year attending a christian school, we attend church all day Sunday, my wife and I are both in the choir and my son in the children's program we go to the mid week service also. The child is envolved in baseball in the spring seasons and has the oppertunity to participate in just about anything he desires. We have good quality family time together, stability and love. All this to say, I think it would be in the best intrest of the child for me to adopt him. The problem is that his bio father has joint legal custody. With that being said, the bio father uses this situation to HIS best intrest and not the child, he uses the joint custody as a way of control over my wife and refuses to give up his rights.

So what if you go to the right church, the right school and live in the right home? All of that means not one damn thing. The child has a father. and It's NOT you.

You have no ground to terminate the bio-father's legal rights and without that, you have no legal right to adopt.

[daddy2him]

The bio father is abusive, physically and mentally he is explosive and sometimes out of control. My wife has a protective order against him, we have proof (pictures) that he has left bruses on the child. The child has come home telling about the things he has seen his bio doing with at the time his live in lover. The child requires medication on a daily basis, he has not recieved his medication on several visitations, the bio has even kept the child's breathing machine instead of sending it home. He is all about control !
I know the child has a father, unfortuniatly the one he has is very distructive to this child's life.

[BelizeBreeze]

Originally Posted by daddy2him

The bio father is abusive, physically and mentally he is explosive and sometimes out of control. My wife has a protective order against him, we have proof (pictures) that he has left bruses on the child. The child has come home telling about the things he has seen his bio doing with at the time his live in lover. The child requires medication on a daily basis, he has not recieved his medication on several visitations, the bio has even kept the child's breathing machine instead of sending it home. He is all about control !
I know the child has a father, unfortuniatly the one he has is very distructive to this child's life.

And yet nothing you have posted here is proof enough to terminate his rights. In fact, he has more legal rights than you do since you have absolutely no legal standing to do anything.

[BelizeBreeze]

Originally Posted by Mattiesmom

I know he has legal rights, he has the right to to be abusive,neglectful,cause physical and emotinal harm, quit his job to kepp from paying child support etc.
I want what is best for this child, if there is something his mother and I can do to protect him and keep him from being another delinquent child because of his bio father, then that is what we will do. If you can be of some help it would be greatly appreciated, if not, then your responses with foul languae is not nessary.

who in the hell are you?

[daddy2him]

Mattiesmom is the bio mother she introduced me to the site, she was looking at the responses on her thread. This IS a family issue anyway right?

[BelizeBreeze]

And the issue has not changed one bit. The fact that you and she SAY he is abusive and a bad father and the fact that he pays no child support are not legal grounds to terminate rights.

If you feel that strongly about the issue then sign over custody to him. Because at this point, you are using religion as you are accusing him of using power. And, as you said in your initial post, he will not sign over his legal rights to the child so without proof of grounds to terminate his rights, you have nothing.

[daddy2him]

My question was never answered and you have the right to your own opinion

[BelizeBreeze]

Originally Posted by daddy2him

My question was never answered and you have the right to your own opinion

Listen for one last time. Your question has been answered several times, you just REFUSE to listen. So, one last time YOU HAVE NO GROUNDS to terminate his paternal rights.

I dont' give a rat's ass what you THINK, according to FEDERAL LAW, the law of YOUR STATE and years of case law, (which you would have discovered had you not been too lazy to do a search on this site) there are SPECIFIC grounds to terminate parental rights and not one which you have enouncinated here.

And the fact that you HAVE NO LEGAL STANDING TO DO ANYTHING has also escaped your brain.

[daddy2him]

I thought in any state, physical abuse and neglagence of a child(age 4 remind you) would be considered a couple of reasons to remove a child from this type of situation. Maybe I am wrong to be fearful for the childs safety and well being. I personally believe there are too many deliquent children out there due to abusive and neglectful parents. I know my step son deserves better. Which again goes back to my original question. How would I do a step parent addoption?

[Rushia]

Originally Posted by daddy2him

I thought in any state, physical abuse and neglagence of a child(age 4 remind you) would be considered a couple of reasons to remove a child from this type of situation. Maybe I am wrong to be fearful for the childs safety and well being. I personally believe there are too many deliquent children out there due to abusive and neglectful parents. I know my step son deserves better. Which again goes back to my original question. How would I do a step parent addoption?

As Breeze keeps telling you. You CANNOT adopt the child without the father's permission and/or the termination of his rights by the courts. While it may be admirable that you want to, you simply can't. Go look at your state laws about it. I did a google search and hit on a few things. It is not easy to get a court to terminate rights whether you believe him to be abusive or not, whether or not you can provide a more desirable lifestyle. You simply cannot go over the father's head to do it. I'm sorry, but that's the way it is.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by daddy2him

I thought in any state, physical abuse and neglagence of a child(age 4 remind you) would be considered a couple of reasons to remove a child from this type of situation. Maybe I am wrong to be fearful for the childs safety and well being. I personally believe there are too many deliquent children out there due to abusive and neglectful parents. I know my step son deserves better. Which again goes back to my original question. How would I do a step parent addoption?

You truly aren't listening. The only way that you can adopt the child is if the father's parental rights are terminated either voluntarily (the father agrees to the adoption) or involuntarily (the state finds him so legally unfit that he will never be safe to be around the child even in a supervised setting....in other words, practically an axe-murder or someone who severely abuses the child to the point where CPS sees them as unredeemable).

The father isn't voluntarily agreeing, so that option is out.....and while I understand your concerns, I don't see anything in your story that would be sufficient for the state to involuntarily terminate his parental rights. Please understand, the right to parent your children is one of the most fundamental freedoms that we enjoy in this country. The state can't take that away from someone without serious cause, backed up by hard, cold, evidence.

There is no doubt that you love the child....and no doubt that you and your wife are providing a positive and stable home for the child. However that still doesn't give you the option of adopting.

[protectyourkidd]

If There Is An Order Of Protection There Should Be A Clause For Custody. If The Father Is Abusive You Should Be Able To Prevent Him From Visitation Unless It Is Supervised. If The Father Is Aware Of This, It Will Probably Discourage Him From Pursuing Rights. He Might Also Sign Over Any Rights And Responsiblity Therefore Allowing Stepfather To Adopt The Child. Good Luck!

[bononos]

Umm, hasn't anyone bothered to report the bio dad for abuse?
Who the hell really cares about what YOU want to happen, what about what is happening to the CHILD?
You will most likely never be able to adopt that child, but if your the person you are claiming to be, and you honestly know there is abuse going on, you need to report it.