lastminutemom
Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania
I have a 10 yr. old step daughter. I have been married to her father for over 6 years. I started caring for her when she was 15 1/2 months old, when I started dating her daddy. Her biological mother insists that she wants custody again. My husband told her to get a lawyer and we would see her in court. Of course, I do not believe it will come to that. Her mother has never seen anything through. She has given many "promises" to my step daughter and never followed through with any of them. I have written down every time the mother has stood her up for visitations, called with an excuse, had problems while visiting with her, called our home for ANYTHING, hit or slapped my "step daughter", etc. I am sure I can prove that "stepdaughter" should stay with us. However, what should I do to "prove" her mother unfit, so I can adopt her? I would NEVER take a child from his/her mother, but I fear that one day, if "stepdaughter" lives with her she will be hurt (physically and mentally) or worse. I want the best for my kids. I have never thought of her as a "stepdaughter", and never treated her as such. Her mother signed the custody papers without taking it to court, but I don't think she will for this. I'm sure she will fight it, if for nothing else but the fact that she hates me. She still tells "stepdaughter" that we took her away, when really she signed her over without a fight. What can I do? I am really afraid of losing her. I have given up my career, my hobbies, and my money, but i CAN'T give up my DAUGHTER! My children are my life and I don't want to hurt anyone, but I don't want my "step daughter" to have anything but happiness. Please help, I am desperate to know what rights I have as a step-parent and what documentation I need to prove her mother is not fit to care for her and never has been. "Step daughter" has been neglected and abused but how can I PROVE it? I am scared for her life. Not just her existence, but what she will become if she has to live in those conditions. They are not good at all. I feel like such a failure. I have been stabbed and hurt by "step daughter", she has gone to counseling and is now better. I know it is SO hard for her to be torn between the person who carried her and myself. I don't want to hurt her, but I don't want HER to be hurt either. All the new anger from her mother is probably because I have started home schooling "step daughter". She does not like that because she hates when "step daughter" is successful because of me. It's kind of sad and I feel sorry for the mother, but I think she is incapable of doing anything without personal gain. I don't know what to do. I want "step daughter" to be able to see her other family, but is that possible if I can prove I should adopt her? I appreciate anything you can tell me! I have written a lot but it doesn't even TOUCH how bad it is. Thanks!
I have a 10 yr. old step daughter. I have been married to her father for over 6 years. I started caring for her when she was 15 1/2 months old, when I started dating her daddy. Her biological mother insists that she wants custody again. My husband told her to get a lawyer and we would see her in court. Of course, I do not believe it will come to that. Her mother has never seen anything through. She has given many "promises" to my step daughter and never followed through with any of them. I have written down every time the mother has stood her up for visitations, called with an excuse, had problems while visiting with her, called our home for ANYTHING, hit or slapped my "step daughter", etc. I am sure I can prove that "stepdaughter" should stay with us. However, what should I do to "prove" her mother unfit, so I can adopt her? I would NEVER take a child from his/her mother, but I fear that one day, if "stepdaughter" lives with her she will be hurt (physically and mentally) or worse. I want the best for my kids. I have never thought of her as a "stepdaughter", and never treated her as such. Her mother signed the custody papers without taking it to court, but I don't think she will for this. I'm sure she will fight it, if for nothing else but the fact that she hates me. She still tells "stepdaughter" that we took her away, when really she signed her over without a fight. What can I do? I am really afraid of losing her. I have given up my career, my hobbies, and my money, but i CAN'T give up my DAUGHTER! My children are my life and I don't want to hurt anyone, but I don't want my "step daughter" to have anything but happiness. Please help, I am desperate to know what rights I have as a step-parent and what documentation I need to prove her mother is not fit to care for her and never has been. "Step daughter" has been neglected and abused but how can I PROVE it? I am scared for her life. Not just her existence, but what she will become if she has to live in those conditions. They are not good at all. I feel like such a failure. I have been stabbed and hurt by "step daughter", she has gone to counseling and is now better. I know it is SO hard for her to be torn between the person who carried her and myself. I don't want to hurt her, but I don't want HER to be hurt either. All the new anger from her mother is probably because I have started home schooling "step daughter". She does not like that because she hates when "step daughter" is successful because of me. It's kind of sad and I feel sorry for the mother, but I think she is incapable of doing anything without personal gain. I don't know what to do. I want "step daughter" to be able to see her other family, but is that possible if I can prove I should adopt her? I appreciate anything you can tell me! I have written a lot but it doesn't even TOUCH how bad it is. Thanks!