Step parent adoption

[Mcull1301]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

Hey everyone! Need a little advice here. I'm interested in adopting my 9 year old step son. To give a brief history I have been raising him since he was 3 and a 1/2. His biological mother left him with his father when he was 15 months old and never looked back. For the past 5 and a half years his father and I have been raising him with no involvement from his biological mother. I have grown very close to him and we have a very special bond. I love him like he was my own. We have a wonderful, happy home that includes him and his two brothers. I'd really love to adopt him and make it official but I'm worried that if we start the process this could open a can of worms. I was told that even though my husband has sole physical and legal custody of his son she would still have to be notified. What would be the chances of her actually being able to stop it? Would she be able to go ahead and file for visitation after almost 8 years do no contact? From what I know about her she is bipolar and apparently was giving my son medications when he was only an infant to make him sleep (ambien specifically). There was no physical proof of it so no action was taken against her but he does suffer from behavioral and learning issues (don't really want to get into what) that I think could be a side effect from this. To top it off she has also given away two more children after him. Needless to say she is not someone I want around him. My number one worry is that if something bad ever happened to my husband what would that mean for him. Would she get custody? To avoid that ever being a possibility we want to have her taken completely out of the equation. Talking to a lawyer is going to be my next step but since tomorrow is Saturday I figured I'd ask here before I went crazy from thinking to much lol. Thanks!

 

[stealth2]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

Hey everyone! Need a little advice here. I'm interested in adopting my 9 year old step son. To give a brief history I have been raising him since he was 3 and a 1/2. His biological mother left him with his father when he was 15 months old and never looked back. For the past 5 and a half years his father and I have been raising him with no involvement from his biological mother. I have grown very close to him and we have a very special bond. I love him like he was my own. We have a wonderful, happy home that includes him and his two brothers. I'd really love to adopt him and make it official but I'm worried that if we start the process this could open a can of worms. I was told that even though my husband has sole physical and legal custody of his son she would still have to be notified. What would be the chances of her actually being able to stop it? Would she be able to go ahead and file for visitation after almost 8 years do no contact? From what I know about her she is bipolar and apparently was giving my son medications when he was only an infant to make him sleep (ambien specifically). There was no physical proof of it so no action was taken against her but he does suffer from behavioral and learning issues (don't really want to get into what) that I think could be a side effect from this. To top it off she has also given away two more children after him. Needless to say she is not someone I want around him. My number one worry is that if something bad ever happened to my husband what would that mean for him. Would she get custody? To avoid that ever being a possibility we want to have her taken completely out of the equation. Talking to a lawyer is going to be my next step but since tomorrow is Saturday I figured I'd ask here before I went crazy from thinking to much lol. Thanks!

Yes, if his *mother* contests the adoption and wants to be part of her son's life, she will be given that opportunity.

 

[LdiJ]

Yes, if his *mother* contests the adoption and wants to be part of her son's life, she will be given that opportunity.

Its not necessarily guaranteed that would happen. She has been gone a very long time...more than 7 1/2 years if she walked out when he was 15 months old.

 

[stealth2]

Nothing is a guarantee, but in NY, it is very likely.

 

[Proserpina]

Its not necessarily guaranteed that would happen. She has been gone a very long time...more than 7 1/2 years if she walked out when he was 15 months old.

Agreed.

It appears that more and more, the courts are recognizing that sometimes, having an absent parent is not actually in the best interests of the child.

I see no reason why an active and loving stepparent should be denied the legal relationship based solely on biology (or lack thereof).

Heck at this juncture, I'm not sure her consent would be needed at all.

 

[Proserpina]

Huge ol' block o' text, so apologies in advance for that.

The consent of a parent to the adoption of his child will not be required if the parent has abandoned the child. The child will be deemed abandoned if the parent evinced an intent to forego his parental or custodial rights and obligations by failing for a period of six months prior to the filing of an adoption petition to visit the child and communicate with the child or person having legal custody of the child although able to do so”. Domestic Relations Law §111(2)(a). The courts presume, in the absence of evidence to the contrary, the ability to visit and communicate with a child or person having custody of a child. DRL § 111(6)(a).

DRL §111(6)(b) states that, “evidence of insubstantial or infrequent visits or communication by the Father shall not, of itself, be sufficient as a matter of law to prevent a finding that the consent of the Father to the child’s adoption shall not be required”. Insignificant expressions of parental interest will not by themselves prevent a finding of abandonment.

And

.

Further, DRL § 111(6)(c) states that, “the subjective intent of the Father whether expressed or otherwise unsupported by evidence of acts specified in DRL § 111(2)(a) manifesting such intent, shall not prevent a determination that the consent of the Father to the child’s adoption shall not be required”.

In Matter of Ethan, 32 Misc.3d 1212(A) (Monroe Co. Fam. Ct. 2009), the birth father opposed proposed step-parent adoption and argued that his consent was necessary. Judge Joseph G. Nesser held a hearing and determined that the biological father has abandoned the child for a period of six months or longer, preceding the filing of the adoption petition.

Holy Moly. Statute and case-law all in one post.

(Cribbed from an attorney website - easy to find if you use your favourite wee search engine)

 

[single317dad]

(...easy to find if you use your favourite wee search engine)

rampantscotland?