Step-parent adoption with bio father in jail??

[Sparkle263]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? LOUISIANA

I have a 9 yr daughter from my ex-boyfriend. We have been separated for 5 years now with domestic court involved and a restraining orders, and a permanent no-contact order protecting me & my daughter.
I have court papers granting me full custody.
He is supposed to pay child support though he hasn't paid any in over 4 years, to the tune of around $27,000 past due.
Obviously I know I will never get any more, and honestly that is OK as long as he stays away.

He is currently in jail - He violated probation again. (in for about a year this time, but has been in & out for the past 5 years), mainly for domestic violence issues, drug charges, assault on police charges etc. Has had 4 or 5 felony convictions for these types of charges.

I am now engaged to be married to a wonderful man, whom I have been living with for 3 1/2 years now. He loves my daughter as his own, and now most people don't even realize that she isn't his.
Once we are married he wants to legally adopt her (she & I and all of our family all want the same)
(The reason we aren't married yet is we are saving up for the wedding, been paying off atty bills from the domestic court issues)

But when we do go to file for the adoption (after we are married), I know they will have to terminate the bios rights first, which I know he will try to contest.
(Even though he has nothing to do with her - he uses not seeing her as an excuse for all his problems and actions)

How much trouble will I have convincing the court to terminate his right and allow the adoption???
Or will/could this open up a can of worms of him trying to regain partial custody???
(He never was granted any form of custody or even visitation rights, just originally had it since his name is on the birth certificate & he signed the paternity acknowledgment)

(I know I will have to get an atty, but right now do not have the money, just trying to get some advice)

 

[Isis1]

best advice. save money for an adoption attorney. the reason is, you don't want to make one mistake that could cause the adoption to be overturned for any reason. it's more traumatic for you and the child.

when was the last time dad had any contact with the child? you stated there is no visitation order?

no child support has been paid at all? not even $1.00?

does dad know where his daughter lives?

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? LOUISIANA

I have a 9 yr daughter from my ex-boyfriend. We have been separated for 5 years now with domestic court involved and a restraining orders, and a permanent no-contact order protecting me & my daughter.
I have court papers granting me full custody.
He is supposed to pay child support though he hasn't paid any in over 4 years, to the tune of around $27,000 past due.

He is currently in jail - He violated probation again. (in for about a year this time, but has been in & out for the past 5 years), mainly for domestic violence issues, drug charges, assault on police charges etc. Has had 4 or 5 felony convictions for these types of charges.

best advice. save money for an adoption attorney. the reason is, you don't want to make one mistake that could cause the adoption to be overturned for any reason. it's more traumatic for you and the child.

when was the last time dad had any contact with the child? you stated there is no visitation order?

no child support has been paid at all? not even $1.00?

does dad know where his daughter lives?

Isabella, couldn't he get into MAJOR trouble if he had contacted her?

 

[Proserpina]

Isabella, couldn't he get into MAJOR trouble if he had contacted her?

Yup.

Though there could be some kind of exception that we haven't yet been told about.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? LOUISIANA

I have a 9 yr daughter from my ex-boyfriend. We have been separated for 5 years now with domestic court involved and a restraining orders, and a permanent no-contact order protecting me & my daughter.
I have court papers granting me full custody.
He is supposed to pay child support though he hasn't paid any in over 4 years, to the tune of around $27,000 past due.
Obviously I know I will never get any more, and honestly that is OK as long as he stays away.

He is currently in jail - He violated probation again. (in for about a year this time, but has been in & out for the past 5 years), mainly for domestic violence issues, drug charges, assault on police charges etc. Has had 4 or 5 felony convictions for these types of charges.

I am now engaged to be married to a wonderful man, whom I have been living with for 3 1/2 years now. He loves my daughter as his own, and now most people don't even realize that she isn't his.
Once we are married he wants to legally adopt her (she & I and all of our family all want the same)
(The reason we aren't married yet is we are saving up for the wedding, been paying off atty bills from the domestic court issues)

But when we do go to file for the adoption (after we are married), I know they will have to terminate the bios rights first, which I know he will try to contest.
(Even though he has nothing to do with her - he uses not seeing her as an excuse for all his problems and actions)

How much trouble will I have convincing the court to terminate his right and allow the adoption???
Or will/could this open up a can of worms of him trying to regain partial custody???
(He never was granted any form of custody or even visitation rights, just originally had it since his name is on the birth certificate & he signed the paternity acknowledgment)

(I know I will have to get an atty, but right now do not have the money, just trying to get some advice)

Assuming the no-contact order names both of you, once you marry your boyfriend (and remain married a while) I honestly don't think you'll have much trouble with a TPR/step-parent adoption. Though Dad still has rights at the moment you have a more than substantial case for termination.

By all means run this by an attorney now, before you get married, and start saving

 

[JnT4Bama07]

step-parent adoption

(We are in Alabama)..I am also in a situation similar to yours, except that I am married to my wonderful husband and dad (to my kids)..My ex husband hasn't seen them since November of 2007..HIS choice. He spent a year in prison, and is now in a court ordered rehab facility..BUT still has the 'option' to make phone calls and send letters..none of which he has done (to his daughter)..NOR has he paid a DIME of child support (currently owes $16, 250). My husband also wants to adopt my children, but we don't really know where to begin. Just thought you could use some support from someone in a similar situation! Best of luck to you!

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

(We are in Alabama)..I am also in a situation similar to yours, except that I am married to my wonderful husband and dad (to my kids)..My ex husband hasn't seen them since November of 2007..HIS choice. He spent a year in prison, and is now in a court ordered rehab facility..BUT still has the 'option' to make phone calls and send letters..none of which he has done (to his daughter)..NOR has he paid a DIME of child support (currently owes $16, 250). My husband also wants to adopt my children, but we don't really know where to begin. Just thought you could use some support from someone in a similar situation! Best of luck to you!

You know what I just found out. In my city the courts have started a program that helps people with step parent adoption for free! You go down they give you the forms and they help you fill them out. They have attorneys that volunteer their time and review the forms. Then they have the parents served or help with publication. The only fees that are charged are the fees through the homestudy and background check which is 500 dollars but they work out a payment plan as low as 50 dollars a month based on income ( the only reason their is that fee is because its through a seperate agency). Wow I wish they would have had that a few years ago! You might want to call your courthouse and see if they have anything like that in your town.

 

[Proserpina]

(We are in Alabama)..I am also in a situation similar to yours, except that I am married to my wonderful husband and dad (to my kids)..My ex husband hasn't seen them since November of 2007..HIS choice. He spent a year in prison, and is now in a court ordered rehab facility..BUT still has the 'option' to make phone calls and send letters..none of which he has done (to his daughter)..NOR has he paid a DIME of child support (currently owes $16, 250). My husband also wants to adopt my children, but we don't really know where to begin. Just thought you could use some support from someone in a similar situation! Best of luck to you!

Please, please, please take your real name out of your post. Please.

 

[Sparkle263]

Answers to questions asked

First thanks to all of you for your replys !!!

Here are some answers to your questions:

when was the last time dad had any contact with the child? you stated there is no visitation order?

November 2004.
In January 2005 was the no-contact order placed protecting me and my daughter from any contact from him or anyone else acting for him. (We had a problem with his crack-head mom too - she it literally on crack, not meaning this as an insult)
I have had to file charges aprox 15-20 time since then for him breaking this order, sometimes he went so far as to break out windows on my house, ran me & my daughter off the road in my car, followed me in a high speed chase until i finally lost him etc. 100's of harassing & threatening phone calls. When police try to arrest him, most of the time he would get away so they "couldn't really do anything" other than file yet another report, but when they would catch him, he'd fight them too, getting assault on p.o. charges too etc....you get the point.

no child support has been paid at all? not even $1.00?

C.S. first ordered in January 2005 - but no payments.
Then in June 2005 he brought me back to court, trying to get it lowered even though he hadn't paid anything. Instead they increased it and started the garnishment papers. Then I started getting it for a while - until November 2006 with only a few lapses - while evacuated for hurricane Katrina, & when he switched jobs. Since Nov 2006 - nothing. Now total owed (past & current support) is near $27,000.

does dad know where his daughter lives?

NO. because of above stalking, harassing, threatening issues; we have had to move 4 times in the last 5 years, trying to stay away, & keep him from knowing.

Isabella, couldn't he get into MAJOR trouble if he had contacted her?

Yes, felony stalking harassment charges since he has already done it multiple times. But all of that seems to disolve when you end up in court, the charges get plead down to lessor ones, etc.

Though there could be some kind of exception that we haven't yet been told about.

No. "Defendant is prohibited from contacting petitioner or their minor child in any manner"

Oh yeah the other part of the puzzle I forgot to mention, (doesn't have to do with me directly, but shows more of his issues) He has another child with another girl (after me) She has had all the same problems as me, but he was able to find her on multiple occasions. Smashed all the windows of her car - with her in it - 3 different times. He also managed to find her another time, snuck into her house around 1AM and took the child - 1 month old at the time, ended up in a high-speed chase with the cops about 13 hours later. (She got the child back ok, just starving, and a bad diaper rash, - hadnt been fed or changed the whole time). Her first pregnancy she miscarried, b/c he beat the crap out of her, The 2nd she had the child, but she was born with major brain problems (we figured from another pregnancy beating) who only survived until she was 18 month old. The 3rd child is the one above who was taken.
She is also looking to TPR with him too, and have her new husband adopt as well.

His excuse for all of this (with me & the other girl) is we make him do these things by not letting him see his kids...

You can see why I want to permanently terminate his rights. My daughter deserves so much better than that. And she has it with her (future) step-dad.

 

[Isis1]

First thanks to all of you for your replys !!!

Here are some answers to your questions:

November 2004.
In January 2005 was the no-contact order placed protecting me and my daughter from any contact from him or anyone else acting for him. (We had a problem with his crack-head mom too - she it literally on crack, not meaning this as an insult)
I have had to file charges aprox 15-20 time since then for him breaking this order, sometimes he went so far as to break out windows on my house, ran me & my daughter off the road in my car, followed me in a high speed chase until i finally lost him etc. 100's of harassing & threatening phone calls. When police try to arrest him, most of the time he would get away so they "couldn't really do anything" other than file yet another report, but when they would catch him, he'd fight them too, getting assault on p.o. charges too etc....you get the point.


C.S. first ordered in January 2005 - but no payments.
Then in June 2005 he brought me back to court, trying to get it lowered even though he hadn't paid anything. Instead they increased it and started the garnishment papers. Then I started getting it for a while - until November 2006 with only a few lapses - while evacuated for hurricane Katrina, & when he switched jobs. Since Nov 2006 - nothing. Now total owed (past & current support) is near $27,000.


NO. because of above stalking, harassing, threatening issues; we have had to move 4 times in the last 5 years, trying to stay away, & keep him from knowing.


Yes, felony stalking harassment charges since he has already done it multiple times. But all of that seems to disolve when you end up in court, the charges get plead down to lessor ones, etc.


No. "Defendant is prohibited from contacting petitioner or their minor child in any manner"

Oh yeah the other part of the puzzle I forgot to mention, (doesn't have to do with me directly, but shows more of his issues) He has another child with another girl (after me) She has had all the same problems as me, but he was able to find her on multiple occasions. Smashed all the windows of her car - with her in it - 3 different times. He also managed to find her another time, snuck into her house around 1AM and took the child - 1 month old at the time, ended up in a high-speed chase with the cops about 13 hours later. (She got the child back ok, just starving, and a bad diaper rash, - hadnt been fed or changed the whole time). Her first pregnancy she miscarried, b/c he beat the crap out of her, The 2nd she had the child, but she was born with major brain problems (we figured from another pregnancy beating) who only survived until she was 18 month old. The 3rd child is the one above who was taken.She is also looking to TPR with him too, and have her new husband adopt as well.

His excuse for all of this (with me & the other girl) is we make him do these things by not letting him see his kids...

You can see why I want to permanently terminate his rights. My daughter deserves so much better than that. And she has it with her (future) step-dad.

i'm sorry. but that was one stupid girl.

OP, definitely start saving. this might not even be that expensive given the circumstances.

 

[Sparkle263]

the other girl

Originally Posted by IsabellaSoriano:
i'm sorry. but that was one stupid girl.

lol yeah we used to say the same thing about her, but don't worry she has appeared to "grow a brain" since then...

The thing is SHE has never done anything to any of my family, not even to hinder any of our efforts. Back then, her only problem was that she was apparently too naive to realize what she was living with.
Since then we have been working together to try to keep him in jail, and letting the other know when he gets out and is starting crap. She has really been a helpful ally in all of this.

Although, from getting burned too many times from him, I don't take any chances with my kid.
She hasn't met my kid, the two children haven't met, even though they are half-related.
In fact his entire family, I have had to cut off since all of this began, b/c he uses them to find us.
(that's how he found them the time he took the kid - he broke into his fathers house, stole his step-mom's purse/address book & got her new address)
I really feel bad about having to do that. It's not their fault that he is an idiot.
They know why I've had to do this, and they understand.
(the only problems are him & his bio mom, everyone else in his family is normal, and haven't done anything to any of us)

Maybe one day when he is either put away in prison for life, or he dies, then I can take a chance with allowing my daughter to eventually meet that side of her blood, & reunite with her other bio family (minus the idiots of course )

But until then, better safe than sorry...

 

[Gum_Drop]

What Parish are you in?

 

[Sparkle263]

parish...

Jefferson Parish.

 

[Gum_Drop]

I asked cause I remember the story on the news. about the kidnapped baby.

 

[Sparkle263]

on the news??

I don't remember that it was on the news...

I know they couldn't get him on any charges except an outstanding warrant, then later a illegal entry charge.

Couldn't get kidnapping because the child was his, & she didn't have custody papers at that time.
Couldn't get DUI, even though he could hardly even stand up, because there wasn't any one there to give a breathalyzer test.

etc..