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  1. #1
    aorjwilliams is offline Junior Member
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    Step Parent Adoption/Father Not Known/NC

    What is the name of your state? NC

    I know there was a similar thread for another person in NC, but in my case, the bio father is/was not known to begin with. What would I need to do to "terminate" the rights of someone unknown? I know publishing something in the newspaper will be involved, but for how long and what do I say? And do I publish it before I file the paperwork for hubby to adopt my child, or at the same time, and do I need to petition the court to terminate those "rights" before he can file for adoption? I already have the adoption paperwork that I picked up from the special proceedings office, but she would not tell me what to do, said to get a lawyer and that was it. I don't have $850 to shell out, just to have a lawyer publish something instead of me. Thanks in advance for any advice anyone has to give me =)What is the name of your state?
  2. #2
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by aorjwilliams
    What is the name of your state? NC

    I know there was a similar thread for another person in NC, but in my case, the bio father is/was not known to begin with. What would I need to do to "terminate" the rights of someone unknown? I know publishing something in the newspaper will be involved, but for how long and what do I say? And do I publish it before I file the paperwork for hubby to adopt my child, or at the same time, and do I need to petition the court to terminate those "rights" before he can file for adoption? I already have the adoption paperwork that I picked up from the special proceedings office, but she would not tell me what to do, said to get a lawyer and that was it. I don't have $850 to shell out, just to have a lawyer publish something instead of me. Thanks in advance for any advice anyone has to give me =)What is the name of your state?
    There is far too much involved here. You are the bio mother? The court is going to expect you to be able to name a father and locate him. If you cannot locate the father the court would allow service by publication by stating when, where, how and in what paper. the court sets those rules. The clerk won't give you information as they are not legally allowed. You must file first and then have the court determine service. How do you not know who the father is?
  3. #3
    aorjwilliams is offline Junior Member
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    Step Parent Adoption/Father Unknown/NC

    Quote Originally Posted by Ohiogal
    There is far too much involved here. You are the bio mother? The court is going to expect you to be able to name a father and locate him. If you cannot locate the father the court would allow service by publication by stating when, where, how and in what paper. the court sets those rules. The clerk won't give you information as they are not legally allowed. You must file first and then have the court determine service. How do you not know who the father is?
    I don't understand how far too much could be involved here? Yes I am the bio mother. That should have been a given from my first post. It is simply I don't know who the father is, never did, and never tried to find out. The circumstances of that are no ones business (or at least anyone's on here). I am willing/was planning to publish a notification in the paper, I was just trying to find out how to do so. I will file my paperwork, then see where that leads me. Thank you for answering at least that much, but please leave the judgements at the door next time. Not everyone is perfect.
  4. #4
    txrose1998 is offline Member
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    You cannot give someone "notice by publication" if you do not know who they are!! It is that simple.....
  5. #5
    aorjwilliams is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by txrose1998
    You cannot give someone "notice by publication" if you do not know who they are!! It is that simple.....
    I don't understand what you mean exactly. I mean I understand the concept of "the process shouldbe simple by not having to worry about the father issue if he wasn't known anyways", but the one thing the clerk at the office did tell me was I'd have to publish something to see if anyone steps forward about it. She just wouldn't tell me what or when.
  6. #6
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    Adoption is simply not a DIY project.

    As for serving someone by publication, every state has it's own rules regarding how this is done, and under what circumstances. Also, you're not going to be able to simply file "Anyone who shagged aorjwilliams between these dates - you may be a daddy and I'm trying to terminate your rights to our kid." It all has to be done in a very specific way. So you either need to do some serious research, or you need a lawyer. Period.
  7. #7
    aorjwilliams is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by stealth2
    Adoption is simply not a DIY project.

    As for serving someone by publication, every state has it's own rules regarding how this is done, and under what circumstances. Also, you're not going to be able to simply file "Anyone who shagged aorjwilliams between these dates - you may be a daddy and I'm trying to terminate your rights to our kid." It all has to be done in a very specific way. So you either need to do some serious research, or you need a lawyer. Period.
    I have been doing research for quite a while now, and the only thing I had a question about was the publication. I understand each state is different, which is why I was asking specifically for North Carolina statutes. BTW just so I know your interpretation...how do you "research" something if you can't find anything about it and no one is willing to answer a question about the topic without robbing you blind to do it?? It's likened to people who want a job doing XYZ, but can't get a job doing XYZ b/c they don't have any experience doing XYZ, yet they can't get experience doing XYZ b/c no one will hire them! Like I said before, the judgements of me needed to be left at the door. I am/was not a promiscuous person, nor am I/was I a druggie. I told the previous person, and I will tell you, not everyone is perfect and things DO happen to people that is beyond their control.

    I did not pose my question to have any of you sit here in judgement and try to ridicule me, I posed it in an attempt to "research" my situation better before going blindly to a lawyer and allowing him/her to rob me blind. I have been told by numerous people that step-parent adoption is one of the easiest to handle and almost always did not require the services of a lawyer. If in the end, I find I really do need one I will get one, but not before I find out for myself it's impossible to do myself.
  8. #8
    nita06 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by aorjwilliams
    I have been doing research for quite a while now, and the only thing I had a question about was the publication. I understand each state is different, which is why I was asking specifically for North Carolina statutes. BTW just so I know your interpretation...how do you "research" something if you can't find anything about it and no one is willing to answer a question about the topic without robbing you blind to do it?? It's likened to people who want a job doing XYZ, but can't get a job doing XYZ b/c they don't have any experience doing XYZ, yet they can't get experience doing XYZ b/c no one will hire them! Like I said before, the judgements of me needed to be left at the door. I am/was not a promiscuous person, nor am I/was I a druggie. I told the previous person, and I will tell you, not everyone is perfect and things DO happen to people that is beyond their control.

    I did not pose my question to have any of you sit here in judgement and try to ridicule me, I posed it in an attempt to "research" my situation better before going blindly to a lawyer and allowing him/her to rob me blind. I have been told by numerous people that step-parent adoption is one of the easiest to handle and almost always did not require the services of a lawyer. If in the end, I find I really do need one I will get one, but not before I find out for myself it's impossible to do myself.
    I totally agree with what you are saying because I am in the same situation but I live in LA. Almost all of the responses I got were saying that I slept around alot and I was this or I was that because I don't know who the bio is either. I posted mine for advice also but I see where it got me. Alot of negativity and no help.
  9. #9
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by aorjwilliams
    I don't understand how far too much could be involved here? Yes I am the bio mother. That should have been a given from my first post. It is simply I don't know who the father is, never did, and never tried to find out. The circumstances of that are no ones business (or at least anyone's on here). I am willing/was planning to publish a notification in the paper, I was just trying to find out how to do so. I will file my paperwork, then see where that leads me. Thank you for answering at least that much, but please leave the judgements at the door next time. Not everyone is perfect.
    Dear I was kind to you. The judge is not going to accept, I'm sorry. I dont recall who he is and have no clue. he will want you to hand a list to him so that those men can all be informed. You better start thinking because a judge isn't going to be as kind. You will need names of ANY man who may be the father.
  10. #10
    aorjwilliams is offline Junior Member
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    So I am to pull random names out of my behind for the judge? There is no way possible to know who the father was, heck I don't even know when the sex was had that created him! (and again I say it's not from being promiscuous or a druggie or anything) I don't wish to disclose the details of what happened to me on here, as I don't see it as having any bearing on someone answering my question about the publication.

    Just as an FYI for myself....what would youdo if you found yourself in a disarray with no memory of events passed, and you knew you didn't do anything to get yourself there? What would you do if you came to in an unknown place with unknown people around you and the only thing you thought about was "I need to get the heck up out of here" not "ooo let me write down everyone's full name and valid phone # and valid address and blood type and SS# and DNA makeup"
  11. #11
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by aorjwilliams
    So I am to pull random names out of my behind for the judge? There is no way possible to know who the father was, heck I don't even know when the sex was had that created him! (and again I say it's not from being promiscuous or a druggie or anything) I don't wish to disclose the details of what happened to me on here, as I don't see it as having any bearing on someone answering my question about the publication.

    Just as an FYI for myself....what would youdo if you found yourself in a disarray with no memory of events passed, and you knew you didn't do anything to get yourself there? What would you do if you came to in an unknown place with unknown people around you and the only thing you thought about was "I need to get the heck up out of here" not "ooo let me write down everyone's full name and valid phone # and valid address and blood type and SS# and DNA makeup"
    I dont care if you tell it all on here or not but you are going to have to provide the judge with answers. The judge will ask you who the father is, why you dont' know, how you can have no idea and what responsibility you take for having this child and depriving it of a father. there are going to be various questions he will ask you. Then he will tell you how to serve the proper notice and dictate what goes in it, where it is published and for how long. The judge will not accept a simple "I don't know who it is and have no idea." The judge will want to know why you don't and if there are possible names and if not why not.

    NOTE: Even though I use "he" the judge could be a "her".
  12. #12
    Grace_Adler is offline Senior Member
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    OMG I can't believe I have to repeat myself yet again... well, yeah I can.


    IN NC you CAN file a TPR without knowing who the father is AND it includes publication. In NC it can be a DIY project. It's not hard as long as you know how to go about things. And it DOES NOT go before a judge, it goes before the Clerk of Court. They really don't care why you are doing it as long as it's legal so they don't give you a bunch of grief about it, normally.



    [url]http://www.ncga.state.nc.us/EnactedLegislation/Statutes/HTML/BySection/Chapter_7B/GS_7B-1111.html[/url]

    7B‑1111. Grounds for terminating parental rights.(a) The court may terminate the parental rights upon a finding of one or more of the following:
    (1) The parent has abused or neglected the juvenile. The juvenile shall be deemed to be abused or neglected if the court finds the juvenile to be an abused juvenile within the meaning of G.S. 7B‑101 or a neglected juvenile within the meaning of G.S. 7B‑101.

    (2) The parent has willfully left the juvenile in foster care or placement outside the home for more than 12 months without showing to the satisfaction of the court that reasonable progress under the circumstances has been made in correcting those conditions which led to the removal of the juvenile. Provided, however, that no parental rights shall be terminated for the sole reason that the parents are unable to care for the juvenile on account of their poverty.

    (3) The juvenile has been placed in the custody of a county department of social services, a licensed child‑placing agency, a child‑caring institution, or a foster home, and the parent, for a continuous period of six months next preceding the filing of the petition or motion, has willfully failed for such period to pay a reasonable portion of the cost of care for the juvenile although physically and financially able to do so.

    (4) One parent has been awarded custody of the juvenile by judicial decree or has custody by agreement of the parents, and the other parent whose parental rights are sought to be terminated has for a period of one year or more next preceding the filing of the petition or motion willfully failed without justification to pay for the care, support, and education of the juvenile, as required by said decree or custody agreement.

    (5) The father of a juvenile born out of wedlock has not, prior to the filing of a petition or motion to terminate parental rights:
    a. Established paternity judicially or by affidavit which has been filed in a central registry maintained by the Department of Health and Human Services; provided, the court shall inquire of the Department of Health and Human Services as to whether such an affidavit has been so filed and shall incorporate into the case record the Department's certified reply; or

    b. Legitimated the juvenile pursuant to provisions of G.S. 49‑10 or filed a petition for this specific purpose; or

    c. Legitimated the juvenile by marriage to the mother of the juvenile; or

    d. Provided substantial financial support or consistent care with respect to the juvenile and mother.

    (6) That the parent is incapable of providing for the proper care and supervision of the juvenile, such that the juvenile is a dependent juvenile within the meaning of G.S. 7B‑101, and that there is a reasonable probability that such incapability will continue for the foreseeable future. Incapability under this subdivision may be the result of substance abuse, mental retardation, mental illness, organic brain syndrome, or any other cause or condition that renders the parent unable or unavailable to parent the juvenile and the parent lacks an appropriate alternative child care arrangement.

    (7) The parent has willfully abandoned the juvenile for at least six consecutive months immediately preceding the filing of the petition or motion, or the parent has voluntarily abandoned an infant pursuant to G.S. 7B‑500 for at least 60 consecutive days immediately preceding the filing of the petition or motion.

    (8) The parent has committed murder or voluntary manslaughter of another child of the parent or other child residing in the home; has aided, abetted, attempted, conspired, or solicited to commit murder or voluntary manslaughter of the child, another child of the parent, or other child residing in the home; has committed a felony assault that results in serious bodily injury to the child, another child of the parent, or other child residing in the home; or has committed murder or voluntary manslaughter of the other parent of the child. The petitioner has the burden of proving any of these offenses in the termination of parental rights hearing by (i) proving the elements of the offense or (ii) offering proof that a court of competent jurisdiction has convicted the parent of the offense, whether or not the conviction was by way of a jury verdict or any kind of plea. If the parent has committed the murder or voluntary manslaughter of the other parent of the child, the court shall consider whether the murder or voluntary manslaughter was committed in self‑defense or in the defense of others, or whether there was substantial evidence of other justification.

    (9) The parental rights of the parent with respect to another child of the parent have been terminated involuntarily by a court of competent jurisdiction and the parent lacks the ability or willingness to establish a safe home.

    (b) The burden in such proceedings shall be upon the petitioner or movant to prove the facts justifying such termination by clear and convincing evidence. (1977, c. 879, s. 8; 1979, c. 669, s. 2; 1979, 2nd Sess., c. 1088, s. 2; c. 1206, s. 2; 1983, c. 89, s. 2; c. 512; 1985, c. 758, ss. 2, 3; c. 784; 1991 (Reg. Sess., 1992), c. 941, s. 1; 1997‑390, ss. 1, 2; 1997‑443, s. 11A.118(a); 1998‑202, s. 6; 1998‑229, ss. 11, 28; 1999‑456, s. 60; 2000‑183, s. 11; 2001‑208, s. 6; 2001‑291, s. 3; 2001‑487, s. 101; 2003‑140, s. 3; 2005‑146, s. 1.)

    7B‑1104. Petition or motion.

    The petition, or motion pursuant to G.S. 7B‑1102, shall be verified by the petitioner or movant and shall be entitled "In Re (last name of juvenile), a minor juvenile"; and shall set forth such of the following facts as are known; and with respect to the facts which are unknown the petitioner or movant shall so state:

    (1) The name of the juvenile as it appears on the juvenile's birth certificate, the date and place of birth, and the county where the juvenile is presently residing.

    (2) The name and address of the petitioner or movant and facts sufficient to identify the petitioner or movant as one authorized by G.S. 7B‑1103 to file a petition or motion.

    (3) The name and address of the parents of the juvenile. If the name or address of one or both parents is unknown to the petitioner or movant, the petitioner or movant shall set forth with particularity the petitioner's or movant's efforts to ascertain the identity or whereabouts of the parent or parents. The information may be contained in an affidavit attached to the petition or motion and incorporated therein by reference. A person whose actions resulted in a conviction under G.S. 14‑27.2 or G.S. 14‑27.3 and the conception of the juvenile need not be named in the petition.
    (4) The name and address of any person who has been judicially appointed as guardian of the person of the juvenile.

    (5) The name and address of any person or agency to whom custody of the juvenile has been given by a court of this or any other state; and a copy of the custody order shall be attached to the petition or motion.

    (6) Facts that are sufficient to warrant a determination that one or more of the grounds for terminating parental rights exist.

    (7) That the petition or motion has not been filed to circumvent the provisions of Article 2 of Chapter 50A of the General Statutes, the Uniform Child‑Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act. (1977, c. 879, s. 8; 1979, c. 110, s. 8; 1981, c. 469, s. 23; 1987, c. 550, s. 15; 1998‑202, s. 6; 1999‑223, s. 7; 1999‑456, s. 60; 2000‑183, s. 5; 2004‑128, s. 14.)
  13. #13
    Grace_Adler is offline Senior Member
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    7B‑1105. Preliminary hearing; unknown parent.

    (a) If either the name or identity of any parent whose parental rights the petitioner seeks to terminate is not known to the petitioner, the court shall, within 10 days from the date of filing of the petition, or during the next term of court in the county where the petition is filed if there is no court in the county in that 10‑day period, conduct a preliminary hearing to ascertain the name or identity of such parent.

    (b) The court may, in its discretion, inquire of any known parent of the juvenile concerning the identity of the unknown parent and may appoint a guardian ad litem for the unknown parent to conduct a diligent search for the parent. Should the court ascertain the name or identity of the parent, it shall enter a finding to that effect; and the parent shall be summoned to appear in accordance with G.S. 7B‑1106.

    (c) Notice of the preliminary hearing need be given only to the petitioner who shall appear at the hearing, but the court may cause summons to be issued to any person directing the person to appear and testify.

    (d) If the court is unable to ascertain the name or identity of the unknown parent, the court shall order publication of notice of the termination proceeding and shall specifically order the place or places of publication and the contents of the notice which the court concludes is most likely to identify the juvenile to such unknown parent. The notice shall be published in a newspaper qualified for legal advertising in accordance with G.S. 1‑597 and G.S. 1‑598 and published in the counties directed by the court, once a week for three successive weeks. Provided, further, the notice shall:

    (1) Designate the court in which the petition is pending;

    (2) Be directed to "the father (mother) (father and mother) of a male (female) juvenile born on or about__________________________ in

    (date)

    County, ,

    (city)

    ______________________________________ , respondent";

    (State)

    (3) Designate the docket number and title of the case (the court may direct the actual name of the title be eliminated and the words "In Re Doe" substituted therefor);

    (4) State that a petition seeking to terminate the parental rights of the respondent has been filed;

    (5) Direct the respondent to answer the petition within 30 days after a date stated in the notice, exclusive of such date, which date so stated shall be the date of first publication of notice and be substantially in the form as set forth in G.S. 1A‑1, Rule 4(j1); and

    (6) State that the respondent's parental rights to the juvenile will be terminated upon failure to answer the petition within the time prescribed.
    Upon completion of the service, an affidavit of the publisher shall be filed with the court.

    (e) The court shall issue the order required by subsections (b) and (d) of this section within 30 days from the date of the preliminary hearing unless the court shall determine that additional time for investigation is required.

    (f) Upon the failure of the parent served by publication pursuant to subsection (d) of this section to answer the petition within the time prescribed, the court shall issue an order terminating all parental rights of the unknown parent. (1977, c. 879, s. 8; 1987, c. 282, s. 1; 1998‑202, s. 6; 1999‑4

    [url]http://www.ncga.state.nc.us/gascripts/Statutes/StatutesTOC.pl?Chapter=0007B[/url]

    Adoptions-

    [url]http://www.ncga.state.nc.us/gascripts/Statutes/StatutesTOC.pl?Chapter=0048[/url]

    I hope this helps. These links should have most of the info you need.

    If you want copies of the petitions and decrees, you can get it from the courthouse or from [url]http://info.dhhs.state.nc.us/olm/forms/dss/[/url]

    Your husband will have to sign "Petition for Adoption of a Minor Child (Stepparent)"

    And you'll have to sign.."Consent to Adoption by Parent Who is Spouse of Stepparent"

    The Adoption Decree is on there also.
  14. #14
    aorjwilliams is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grace_Adler
    7B‑1105. Preliminary hearing; unknown parent.

    (a) If either the name or identity of any parent whose parental rights the petitioner seeks to terminate is not known to the petitioner, the court shall, within 10 days from the date of filing of the petition, or during the next term of court in the county where the petition is filed if there is no court in the county in that 10‑day period, conduct a preliminary hearing to ascertain the name or identity of such parent.

    (b) The court may, in its discretion, inquire of any known parent of the juvenile concerning the identity of the unknown parent and may appoint a guardian ad litem for the unknown parent to conduct a diligent search for the parent. Should the court ascertain the name or identity of the parent, it shall enter a finding to that effect; and the parent shall be summoned to appear in accordance with G.S. 7B‑1106.

    (c) Notice of the preliminary hearing need be given only to the petitioner who shall appear at the hearing, but the court may cause summons to be issued to any person directing the person to appear and testify.

    (d) If the court is unable to ascertain the name or identity of the unknown parent, the court shall order publication of notice of the termination proceeding and shall specifically order the place or places of publication and the contents of the notice which the court concludes is most likely to identify the juvenile to such unknown parent. The notice shall be published in a newspaper qualified for legal advertising in accordance with G.S. 1‑597 and G.S. 1‑598 and published in the counties directed by the court, once a week for three successive weeks. Provided, further, the notice shall:

    (1) Designate the court in which the petition is pending;

    (2) Be directed to "the father (mother) (father and mother) of a male (female) juvenile born on or about__________________________ in

    (date)

    County, ,

    (city)

    ______________________________________ , respondent";

    (State)

    (3) Designate the docket number and title of the case (the court may direct the actual name of the title be eliminated and the words "In Re Doe" substituted therefor);

    (4) State that a petition seeking to terminate the parental rights of the respondent has been filed;

    (5) Direct the respondent to answer the petition within 30 days after a date stated in the notice, exclusive of such date, which date so stated shall be the date of first publication of notice and be substantially in the form as set forth in G.S. 1A‑1, Rule 4(j1); and

    (6) State that the respondent's parental rights to the juvenile will be terminated upon failure to answer the petition within the time prescribed.
    Upon completion of the service, an affidavit of the publisher shall be filed with the court.

    (e) The court shall issue the order required by subsections (b) and (d) of this section within 30 days from the date of the preliminary hearing unless the court shall determine that additional time for investigation is required.

    (f) Upon the failure of the parent served by publication pursuant to subsection (d) of this section to answer the petition within the time prescribed, the court shall issue an order terminating all parental rights of the unknown parent. (1977, c. 879, s. 8; 1987, c. 282, s. 1; 1998‑202, s. 6; 1999‑4

    [url]http://www.ncga.state.nc.us/gascripts/Statutes/StatutesTOC.pl?Chapter=0007B[/url]

    Adoptions-

    [url]http://www.ncga.state.nc.us/gascripts/Statutes/StatutesTOC.pl?Chapter=0048[/url]

    I hope this helps. These links should have most of the info you need.

    If you want copies of the petitions and decrees, you can get it from the courthouse or from [url]http://info.dhhs.state.nc.us/olm/forms/dss/[/url]

    Your husband will have to sign "Petition for Adoption of a Minor Child (Stepparent)"

    And you'll have to sign.."Consent to Adoption by Parent Who is Spouse of Stepparent"

    The Adoption Decree is on there also.
    Grace,

    Bless you! I very much appreciate your willingness to share this information with me without the criticism of the "why's" of it =) I was trying to make heads or tails of the info you gave to the other person on here, and I apologize for you having to "repeat yourself" for me. I am going to go forward with this info, and am very grateful people such as yourself are on these forums! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!
  15. #15
    aorjwilliams is offline Junior Member
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    Oh, and fortunately I have the adoption forms already, just not anything for TPR. Thanks again, I appreciate it!

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