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Termination of parental rights/Stepparent Adoption

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scm8908

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? South Carolina

I have been divorced from my ex for over 5 years and we have joint custody with me being the primary and him the secondary. I have since then become remarried and live in another state from him. He has not excerised any of his rights that he tried to obtain before we became officially divorced. We have two children together, that he only sees if I bring them to him. He is behind over 1200 for child support with only having to pay a small amount (71.00 per month) and he does not attempt to contact them. My now husband wants to adopt them since he is the one that is providing for them and being the dad that they need. Some time ago he was asked about signing over his rights be he declined. Partly I beleive is because my husband is of another race than me and my children. My ex does not do anything else for the kids other than getting a birthday card but that is where it stops. Last physical contact was back in August and last verbal contact (me having kids call him to say thanks for b-day card) was in November. Are there any options for us. My ex lives in NC which is where are custody order was established.


Thanks
 


scm8908

Junior Member
Well back in September my husband and I did go to see an attorney and was told that because he does pay child support (which is not voluntarily, its garnished from his wages, at 15.07 every two weeks) that if he doesn't agree on his own that we could lose in court because that would be considered support. I just know that there has to be another way because he want even pay the 71 per month for them. He rolls over an amount every month. My husband wants to take the kids on vacation with us out of the country but we can't get the passport without my ex's consent. Its just a hassel to have to play his game when he has no interest in our kids at all.:(
 

momofrose

Senior Member
The attorney is correct - if the father does not voluntarily relinquish he rights so that step-dad can adopt - then the courts will look at his paying support as him exercising his parental rights.

It may be a hassle that you will have to live with until the child is emacipated.
 

CourtClerk

Senior Member
Well back in September my husband and I did go to see an attorney and was told that because he does pay child support (which is not voluntarily, its garnished from his wages, at 15.07 every two weeks) that if he doesn't agree on his own that we could lose in court because that would be considered support. I just know that there has to be another way because he want even pay the 71 per month for them. He rolls over an amount every month. My husband wants to take the kids on vacation with us out of the country but we can't get the passport without my ex's consent. Its just a hassel to have to play his game when he has no interest in our kids at all.:(
You can get a passport with a court order. That doesn't require you to strip the man of his parental rights.
 

scm8908

Junior Member
You can get a passport with a court order. That doesn't require you to strip the man of his parental rights.
The passport is in no way the reason for wanting his rights revoked. I'm looking more towards the future. No one is promised tomorrow and if something should happen to me then legally my husband who has been the one providing for them, taking care of them the way a dad should, would have to allow this person who has not been there for them (which is his choice), made no efforts to spend time with them or even provide for them to take them. That's the part that is distrurbing. I would like to know before hand that in case of my early demise, that my children will be in good hands and well taken care of. My kids have absolutely no interest in their biofather, they want my husband to adopt them. Its just baffles me that a court would even accept him paying 15.07 every two weeks is support for two children (but I guess thats the law).

But I guess there are no loop holes and that we will have to deal with his stupidity until my kids turn 18. How sad is that:(:(
 

Isis1

Senior Member
at the risk of being snippy, why was a birthday card sent in August only to receive a phone call in Nov to say thank you? three months to be acknowledged. i'm appalled. it doesn't help facilitate a healthy relationship on your end either, you know. :rolleyes:
 

>Charlotte<

Lurker
at the risk of being snippy, why was a birthday card sent in August only to receive a phone call in Nov to say thank you? three months to be acknowledged. i'm appalled. it doesn't help facilitate a healthy relationship on your end either, you know.
Two separate things. The last physical contact was August. The last verbal contact was in November, in response to a birthday card.

But I know what you mean--that's how I interpreted it the first time I read it, too.
 

scm8908

Junior Member
at the risk of being snippy, why was a birthday card sent in August only to receive a phone call in Nov to say thank you? three months to be acknowledged. i'm appalled. it doesn't help facilitate a healthy relationship on your end either, you know. :rolleyes:
No I said last physical contact ws in august when my kids went up for a visit with my family. The phone call was in Novemeber because that is when their birthdays are and when he sent the card. I did not say that he sent a card in August and I had them call in November. So I have done more than my part to make this man be a part of his kids life. The only way he sees them is when I bring them to NC and the only phone conversation is when I would make them. Advice from an attorney and counselor is that I should stop setting my kids up to get hurt by making them contact someone who shows no interest in contacting them.
 

scm8908

Junior Member
Two separate things. The last physical contact was August. The last verbal contact was in November, in response to a birthday card.

But I know what you mean--that's how I interpreted it the first time I read it, too.
Thanks for the backup but I thought I made the differences pretty clear but as they say perception is one's reality. I apologize to anyone else if I was not clear.
 

>Charlotte<

Lurker
Thanks for the backup but I thought I made the differences pretty clear but as they say perception is one's reality. I apologize to anyone else if I was not clear.
Reading it quickly, my brain just processed it as "thanks for the birthday card" which, by following the August reference, made it sound like one was a result of the other. I imagine that's what happened with Izzy, too. No biggie.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
The passport is in no way the reason for wanting his rights revoked. I'm looking more towards the future. No one is promised tomorrow and if something should happen to me then legally my husband who has been the one providing for them, taking care of them the way a dad should, would have to allow this person who has not been there for them (which is his choice), made no efforts to spend time with them or even provide for them to take them. That's the part that is distrurbing. I would like to know before hand that in case of my early demise, that my children will be in good hands and well taken care of. My kids have absolutely no interest in their biofather, they want my husband to adopt them. Its just baffles me that a court would even accept him paying 15.07 every two weeks is support for two children (but I guess thats the law).

But I guess there are no loop holes and that we will have to deal with his stupidity until my kids turn 18. How sad is that:(:(
What does the court order for visitation grant him? Are you required to pay transportation costs for the children to see their father since you moved?

Oh and you are part of that stupidity quite frankly.
 

scm8908

Junior Member
What does the court order for visitation grant him? Are you required to pay transportation costs for the children to see their father since you moved?

Oh and you are part of that stupidity quite frankly.[/QU

He is supposed to have them every other weekend, routing major holidays, 4 weeks during the summer and fathers day. Which the only thing he did for a while was the every other weekend but stopped after the divorce was final in 2003.

No I am not required to pay for his transportation cost. His last time coming here to visit was back when i first moved here in 2006, as a matter of fact it was for the kids birthday party in Novemeber of 06.

Now explain to me how part of the stupidity is on me. If chasing a father down to make him be a better parent is studpity on my part then I guess your right but other than that I have gone above and beyond with this man and as I have always been told you can not make someone do something they do not want to do. The issue with him is that it was never about our children eveyrthing was always about huring me. This man has four children total, one who is older than my two whom he had no problem with signing over his rights for that child because he did not want to support him. Unfortunately for him he still has to pay support for him. I have been the main provider for my children up until recently, now I have help. My husband has stepped in to do what he wouldn't. I never tripped with my ex about money my issue with him was always about spending time and giving my children the father they deserve. His issue was always money he goes to child support just about every six months requesting a decreased and guess what they give it to him. So please enlighten me on how I play into his stupdity, as I would really like to know.
 

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