TPR Q's

[Sherah]

My state is North Carolina.
Hi I have a few basic questions about TPR. I'm going to file for this (come the new year) so that my current husband can adopt my daughter. My ex-husband has been MIA since Dec. 05. Once I hire my atty and what not, I understand that I will have to make attempts at finding my ex as hard as it may be. However, my question lies in: The last I heard, my ex was in Illinios. For arguments sake, if he happens to still be there when I try to terminate his rights will he in fact have to come to NC here to contest it if he were to even want to? And one more question (I know an atty could answer for me but I'd love to know before I do hire one)...
The way the NC Statute reads is this: One Parent (me) has custody of the child pursuant to court order or agreement of the parents, and the other parent (him) for one year has willfully failed, without justification, to pay for the child's care, support, and education as required by court order or custody agreement.
My question is this. He has not paid child support or made ANY contact whatsoever with the exception of a single payment made a few months ago in the amount of $250. That one payment in a full year of no other support or contact be it physical or telephonic does not render my year of waiting for nothing does it? It seems that it wouldn't, but I'd love a second opinion before I march into an atty's office like a smug and pompous know-it-all. (Not that I would Thanks guys!What is the name of your state?

[tigger22472]

Originally Posted by Sherah

My state is North Carolina.
Hi I have a few basic questions about TPR. I'm going to file for this (come the new year) so that my current husband can adopt my daughter. My ex-husband has been MIA since Dec. 05. Once I hire my atty and what not, I understand that I will have to make attempts at finding my ex as hard as it may be. However, my question lies in: The last I heard, my ex was in Illinios. For arguments sake, if he happens to still be there when I try to terminate his rights will he in fact have to come to NC here to contest it if he were to even want to?

He would have to file a response with the court in which the filing is done in. That doesn't mean he HAS to come to NC.. but just that he'd have to file there

And one more question (I know an atty could answer for me but I'd love to know before I do hire one)...
The way the NC Statute reads is this: One Parent (me) has custody of the child pursuant to court order or agreement of the parents, and the other parent (him) for one year has willfully failed, without justification, to pay for the child's care, support, and education as required by court order or custody agreement.
My question is this. He has not paid child support or made ANY contact whatsoever with the exception of a single payment made a few months ago in the amount of $250. That one payment in a full year of no other support or contact be it physical or telephonic does not render my year of waiting for nothing does it? It seems that it wouldn't, but I'd love a second opinion before I march into an atty's office like a smug and pompous know-it-all. (Not that I would Thanks guys!What is the name of your state?

More than likely that $250 resets the clock on the child support issue...the only thing I see that would change that is if you can prove the payment was forced... for instance through his tax check.

[Sherah]

ok Tigger what about this one...gimme your opinion...

Ground Seven states as follows: Parent has willfully abandoned the child for at least six consecutive months preceding the filing of the petition or motion. (I file in March BTW and I know he's not coming around.)

It defines abandonment as follows: Willful neglect and refusal to perform natural and LEGAL parental obligations of care and support. If the parent withholds the parent's presence, love, care, and opportunity to display filial affection, and willfully neglects to lend support and maintenance, the parent relinquishes all parental claims and abandons the child.

Even if the child support thing were to be reset, this ground also applies in my situation IMO. What do you think? ( Keep in mind my daughter and/or I have had ZERO physical or verbal contact with this man since Dec 31, 2005-Jan 1st, 2006.) Thanks!

[tigger22472]

Originally Posted by Sherah

ok Tigger what about this one...gimme your opinion...

Ground Seven states as follows: Parent has willfully abandoned the child for at least six consecutive months preceding the filing of the petition or motion. (I file in March BTW and I know he's not coming around.)

It defines abandonment as follows: Willful neglect and refusal to perform natural and LEGAL parental obligations of care and support. If the parent withholds the parent's presence, love, care, and opportunity to display filial affection, and willfully neglects to lend support and maintenance, the parent relinquishes all parental claims and abandons the child.

Even if the child support thing were to be reset, this ground also applies in my situation IMO. What do you think? ( Keep in mind my daughter and/or I have had ZERO physical or verbal contact with this man since Dec 31, 2005-Jan 1st, 2006.) Thanks!

It all comes down to a judge. North Carolina is one of the few states that allows a TPR without a step-parent adoption. Many others have it all done in the same process. However, if you can show or prove to the judge the step-parent is willing to and you plan to file for the adoption that may help things. Also you definitely don't want to file before March because although the statute says 6 months judges want there to be more time in between generally. It will land on you to show that this is in the best interest of the child.

[Sherah]

Thanks for your input Tigger. We are definately planning on a step-parent adoption immediately following, if not, in-conjunction-with a TPR against my daughters biological father. I fully intend to pace myself and keep it strictly by the book. I really appreciate your time and outsiders point of view on this. Thanks again!

[tigger22472]

Originally Posted by Sherah

Thanks for your input Tigger. We are definately planning on a step-parent adoption immediately following, if not, in-conjunction-with a TPR against my daughters biological father. I fully intend to pace myself and keep it strictly by the book. I really appreciate your time and outsiders point of view on this. Thanks again!

NP... definitely do some searching with attorneys. I have heard there are vastly different price ranges in NC. IMO it would be in the best interest to do it all at once and get it all over with.

[Sherah]

Tigger I might have done something stupid and I need your advice. If it isn't too much to ask could you email me at [email]kateann1201@yahoo.com[/email] if you get a chance? Just put TPR in the subject so that I know its you.

[Sherah]

Hey Tigger. Just in case youre floating around out there somewhere...thought I'd let ya know. I got in touch with his father! YEAH! I stated my case and he thinks I'm doing the right thing and is going to talk to my ex about voluntarily signing over his rights. I basically said that if he does it voluntarily, I won't seek the back support he owes me, and I will allow him to have a relationship with her (our daughter) if SHE so chooses. Plus I told him that I'd let them have a relationship with her as grandparents if they made the effort. I did say that if he makes me do it the hard way, I will still follow thru and make life really hard for him b/t the violation of our court order, child support, lack of contact, etc. I have a good feeling about it. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

[Sherah]

Just thought I 'd let ya know, ironically enough my ex is living WITH his father! And his father confirmed that he's been working the whole time he's been MIA. It's so hard for me to grasp how some people can just completely reject their kids...thanks for letting me vent girl!

[Grace_Adler]

It shouldn't be any problem for you to have this done. It goes before the clerk of court and as long as everything is legal, they usually don't have a problem doing this. If the father fights it, you could spend over $1k. If he doesn't, it will probably be under that for one child. You could even do it yourself.

Here is a link to the website for the forms. I can't believe attorneys charge an arm and a leg for this when all they do is download the forms off the internet. Anyway, first you have to file a petition with the court and have him served, unless he voluntarily consents to the adoption and TPR. Then a homestudy by DSS has to be done. It costs either $200 or $250. Takes about 3 months. There is a time limit for them to do it and respond to the clerk of court. Then you calander a date for the hearing and you have the decree drawn up, then send the decree to Raleigh for them to make new birth certificates. And of course you'll have to pay filing fees, etc.

The forms can be found on.. or at the courthouse

[url]http://info.dhhs.state.nc.us/olm/forms/forms.aspx?dc=dss[/url]

You need to click on the following..


dss-5189-ia Consent to Adoption by Parent Who is Spouse of Stepparent

dss-1814-ia Decree of Adoption

dss-5162-ia Petition for Adoption of a Minor Child (I'm not sure if this is the right one because they used to have one that said (stepparent) at the end in parentheses.)

For your ex to sign..

dss-5190-ia Consent to Adoption by Parent Who is Not the Stepparent's Spouse

Um, that's all I can think of for now.