Un-Adopt

[jmetzger]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? California

My wife and I adopted a foster child when she was nine years old. When she turned eighteen she moved out and wants nothing to do with us. My question is this; Can we unadopt her? Is there a way to give her back her original name and reverse the adoption?
Thank you

[rmet4nzkx]

Most teenagers go through some sort of rebellion.
Adopted children can take it to extreems but often mellow with age.
Just like any other child who becomes an adult, she is free to leave if she chooses and not communicate, if she so chooses, it is a part of finding herself and dealing with this life transition. If she wants to change her name, she can do that, you don't have to do it for her. You are not responsible for her, except for counting your income for schol loans.
I suggest that you just let it be, there is nothing to be undone at this point and someday she will come around.

[brisgirl825]

I don't know of any bio parents that haven't gone through some conflicts with teenage and early adult age children. It's a part of growing up. They rebel and want independence, sometimes they don't care what their family thinks or feels about it either. But you have to understand that and not give up on her. Bio parents go through this all the time and you shouldn't consider yourself different than a bio parent. Give her time, she'll realize that she needs and wants her family in her life. You need to be there when she has that realization.

You adopted her when she was nine, you're the only family she has probably ever known. Her bio parents obviously had issues and weren't there for her, how would it make her feel to know that you were leaving too? It will just validate any feelings she has about being unworthy of love.


Sarah

[stealth2]

Ya know..... if we all "got rid" of our kids when we didn't like their behavior, there would be a hell of a lot of kids w/o parents running around.