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  #1  
Old 04-02-2009, 10:04 PM
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Unknown father/stepfather adoption

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

My husband would like to adopt my son. I am the only one on the birth certificate, and I have no way of figuring out who the father was. I went through the questioning by child support services when my son was a baby and he and I used food stamps for a year. I listed the father as unknown, they questioned the heck out of me for details and determined that I was correct in saying there was no way to figure paternity out. My son is now five, and I've been married for about a year. I'm not sure how to go about the adoption process since we can't do a termination of rights. Thanks in advance...
  #2  
Old 04-02-2009, 10:06 PM
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Are you saying that you slept with so many people that you can't possibly have them all tested or you slept with a total stranger and you don't even know his name...
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  #3  
Old 04-02-2009, 10:22 PM
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The specifics are that at the time I was living in a city that was a known vacation destination, and the "good" bars to hang out in were usually in hotels. This means that many of the people in there were only around for a day or two, and, typically nameless. To go into more detail, by the time I found out I was pregnant (11 weeks), I couldn't pinpoint enough detail. There were not "so many men", but definitely more than one occasion - and the occasions did not involve names. {shrug} That was a lifetime ago.
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Old 04-02-2009, 10:38 PM
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Originally Posted by FLgal09 View Post
The specifics are that at the time I was living in a city that was a known vacation destination, and the "good" bars to hang out in were usually in hotels. This means that many of the people in there were only around for a day or two, and, typically nameless. To go into more detail, by the time I found out I was pregnant (11 weeks), I couldn't pinpoint enough detail. There were not "so many men", but definitely more than one occasion - and the occasions did not involve names. {shrug} That was a lifetime ago.
this is NOT a do it yourself project. an attorney can better advise you to do it correctly.
  #5  
Old 04-03-2009, 01:17 AM
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Originally Posted by FLgal09 View Post
That was a lifetime ago.
Actually, it was no more than 70 months ago
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  #6  
Old 04-03-2009, 07:24 AM
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Actually, it was no more than 70 months ago
Well that was certainly helpful. I never would have figured out how long ago I got pregnant without your impressive skills in mathematics.
  #7  
Old 04-03-2009, 07:59 AM
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Get an adoption attorney - he needs to do the proper search and posting in newspapers to try and find the father.
  #8  
Old 04-03-2009, 08:03 AM
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Originally Posted by FLgal09 View Post
Well that was certainly helpful. I never would have figured out how long ago I got pregnant without your impressive skills in mathematics.
The problem is your son doesn't have a father because you didn't care enough to know anything about the people.

You will have to do a John Doe service by publication and/or posting. An attorney should be used for this.
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Last edited by m martin; 04-15-2009 at 05:17 PM.
  #9  
Old 04-03-2009, 09:09 AM
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Originally Posted by Ohiogal View Post
The problem is your son doesn't have a father because you didn't care enough to know anything about the people.

You will have to do a John Doe service by publication and/or posting. An attorney should be used for this.
Hmm, last I checked it was not against the law to have consensual, casual sex. And the father obviously didn't care enough either, he certainly didn't check back to make sure a pregnancy didn't happen. However, I found zero humor in the situation. Upon seeing two lines on the stick I tested for everything possible and didn't sleep with another person for 3 years - and the one person I have slept with since then is the man who is my husband. I stopped partying, worked to support my baby, and went back to school - I graduate this semester. So thank you.
Last edited by m martin; 04-15-2009 at 05:18 PM.
  #10  
Old 04-03-2009, 09:19 AM
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I believe you received your legal answer. Sorry, but you must admit that not knowing at all who the father could be does leave you open to some chastizing (especially given the fact that you were living off the system ie; taxpayers)...glad you pulled your life together. Hire an adoption attorney.
  #11  
Old 04-03-2009, 10:22 AM
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Originally Posted by momofrose View Post
I believe you received your legal answer. Sorry, but you must admit that not knowing at all who the father could be does leave you open to some chastizing (especially given the fact that you were living off the system ie; taxpayers)...glad you pulled your life together. Hire an adoption attorney.
Not to mention the fact that she has for all eternity sentenced her child to never know who his father is.
  #12  
Old 04-03-2009, 10:27 AM
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I could be wrong but I have a STRONG suspicion that the child thinks her fiancee is her dad. If adoption goes through..then he will be the dad...buit OP must remember to tell the child that there is a birthdad out there - somewhere...
  #13  
Old 04-03-2009, 10:30 AM
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Not to mention the fact that she has for all eternity sentenced her child to never know who his father is.
I'll leave out that testing someone AFTER the sexual act is a little.... dumb. Because of course, you could have already infected yourself with Herpes, HIV, HPV or something else.

However, you did what you did. Your child will never get to know their father, but you can't cry over spilled milk.

Oh, and please believe, no one believes that you did this only once. If you are sleeping with random men without knowing their name, that takes something rather.... special (not). You were real comfortable doing what you were doing. Hope you at least got paid, because you definitely got a baby out of it.
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