Want to adopt step kids

[Clee]

What is the name of your state? CO

HI I want to adopt my husbands kids. Their mother relinquished all of her parental rights in court over 3 years ago. She does still see them once in a while if my husband allows her to. She doesn't do anything steady. She even moved out of state for a while then returned. She owes over $20,000 in back child support and has never made one payment. Will we still need her consent after she relinquished her rights? I have been their mother since I married their father 2 1/2 years ago. 1 of the kids has a disability and he needs my constant care. I worry if something happened to my husband one day and I'm "only" the step-mom I would not have any legal rights to care for them.

Any Adivce?

Thanks for your help

[ceara19]

Originally Posted by Clee

What is the name of your state? CO

HI I want to adopt my husbands kids. Their mother relinquished all of her parental rights in court over 3 years ago. She does still see them once in a while if my husband allows her to. She doesn't do anything steady. She even moved out of state for a while then returned. She owes over $20,000 in back child support and has never made one payment. Will we still need her consent after she relinquished her rights? I have been their mother since I married their father 2 1/2 years ago. 1 of the kids has a disability and he needs my constant care. I worry if something happened to my husband one day and I'm "only" the step-mom I would not have any legal rights to care for them.

Any Adivce?

Thanks for your help

It's true that you would have no legal rights as the step-mother, but the biological mother has no rights either.

You will not need her consent to adopt the children if her rights have been terminated.

[tigger22472]

Originally Posted by ceara19

It's true that you would have no legal rights as the step-mother, but the biological mother has no rights either.

You will not need her consent to adopt the children if her rights have been terminated.

I want to add that it should be checked if her rights were 'terminated' or technically suspended. I say this because the OP acts as if mom is still supposed to be paying support. If this is the case it is highly unlikely that her rights were terminated. She may not have vistitation and dad might have sole custody but that doesn't mean her rights were 'terminated.' If they were NOT terminated legally then yes her consent, and/or a court order may be needed.

[Clee]

Thank you both for the advice. Good to hear we won't need her consent. She's not a very nice person. Mainly seems to live pretty selfishly and likes to cause drama... Two of the children have been in counseling due to the way she just up and left one day when they were in school.

Here is what happened when they divorced and in our state, "parenting time", marriage, and support are all handled in one court room. So at that time she wrote a letter 'stating she was relinquishing all her parental rights and is fully understanding of that decision and that my husband would have full custody and she would not be a part of their lives." She also added the reasoning being "because she was financially and emotionally unable to do so...". Then after that my husband and her went before the judge and he warned her of what she was doing and said do not think you can just change your mind one day and come back here and try to pop back into the children's lives, furhter more he said they may not even want you back in their lives. My husband said the judge was some what disgusted in her actions, pretty serious about her decision and said she would still be ordered to pay child support even after deciding this.

My concern on top of all of this is... is there some sort of paper she would have had to sign rather than just writing this letter to the judge. And if so did she sign it? In parenting time in my husbands order it says "refer to signed letter"....

The order was signed by the judge and sealed...

Thoughts?

Thanks for all comments....

[tigger22472]

Was child support ordered?

Just because the judge said what he/she said doesn't necessarily mean that it was exactly true or the way he said it.

I suspect if child support was ordered her rights were NOT terminated. The EXACT wording of the decree is very important and if there is not an attached letter then there's a problem.

[ceara19]

It sounds like mom will have to be notified and given a chance to contest. It is possible for the judge to basically take away a parents RIGHTS while leaving their OBLIGATIONS in place. That sounds like what has happened here. That doesn't mean that her rights have actually been legally terminated though. If they had been, she would not be ordered to pay support.

At this point it is POSSIBLE for mom to actually get visitation rights, but only if she were to follow a plan set by the court. The good news is, it may not be that difficult to have her rights terminated so that you can legally adopt the children.

Since the judge was very clear about her not being able to just breeze in and out of the kids' lives, he will probably be receptive to the idea of you adopting them.

I don't see why she would want to contest. Terminating her rights would end her child support obligation from this point forward. She would still owe the arrears unless your husband decided to "forgive" them.