want to adopt stepson..divorced from his mom

[mike120170]

What is the name of your state? North Carolina

The situation: I have raised my 6 year old stepson since the day he came home from hospital. A few months later his mom and I got married. His mom and I also have a 15yr old daughter together. We were split up for about 5 years before we got back together. We stayed married for about 4 years bfore divorcing. I haved raised my stepson as my own and he doesn't know I'm not his biological father. Biological father has never been in the picture. I pick ups my stepson every day after work and have him every weekend. Getting biological father's rights terminated will not be an issue.

Question: Will the fact that I'm no longer married to his mother be an issue? Both of us want this adoption to happen. Also, I'm curious to what to expect for adoption fees.

Thanks for any help/advice

[Silverplum]

Originally Posted by mike120170

What is the name of your state? North Carolina

The situation: I have raised my 6 year old stepson since the day he came home from hospital. A few months later his mom and I got married. His mom and I also have a 15yr old daughter together. We were split up for about 5 years before we got back together. We stayed married for about 4 years bfore divorcing. I haved raised my stepson as my own and he doesn't know I'm not his biological father. Biological father has never been in the picture. I pick ups my stepson every day after work and have him every weekend. Getting biological father's rights terminated will not be an issue.

Question: Will the fact that I'm no longer married to his mother be an issue? Both of us want this adoption to happen. Also, I'm curious to what to expect for adoption fees.

Thanks for any help/advice

Nobody can tell you much about fees. That's very individual to your attorney and your case.

MOST stepparent adoptions are done while the stepparent is still a stepparent. NOT an X. I don't know if you can do it.

You'd need an attorney regardless. Start with that question.

[Silverplum]

By the way, mikewithalotofnumbers, in case you ever come back:

1. You're welcome.

and

2. The part about your X's son not knowing that you are not his actual father? That's gonna come back and bite you all in the hind ends. PLEASE seek reputable information and/or counseling to find out how to best undo this terrible wrong to the child in a way that will be as minimally hurtful as possible!

[mike120170]

Thanks for the reply. I know someday my son may have questions, but I can guarantee you he will never want another father. We are VERY close. Terrible wrong? I may have to respectfully disagree with that. I am a way better father than his biological father and me coming into his life is probably one of the best things that will ever happen to him. His mother isn't much of a mother either. My cousin is friends with a local family law attorney and she is going to contact him and get his take on the situation. Don't take my response the wrong way. I just don't think this situation is necessarily a terrible wrong. It's right in my opinion. He's much better off with me than his biological father. I know someday he will find out and have questions. I really don't think that it will matter that much to him though. Again, thanks for your reply.

[stealth2]

Yeah... why should the kid have an issue with finding out his whole life was a lie?

However, it is very unlikely that you're going to be able to adopt this child now that you are no longer married to his mother.

[mike120170]

Originally Posted by stealth2

Yeah... why should the kid have an issue with finding out his whole life was a lie? Why the negativity? Why will his whole life be a lie? He has someone who loves him just as much as his own bilogical father. You sound like someone with issues yourself. I never knew my father very well, and don't care to know him. I would have been very happy to have another father figure in my life. Just never happened. Can't stand my stepfather.

However, it is very unlikely that you're going to be able to adopt this child now that you are no longer married to his mother.

Still waiting on my cousin to let me know what her lawyer friend says. Will keep you informed.