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04-24-2009, 01:01 PM
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What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX
I currently have a child by a man that also has another child that I have a bond with and I have an okay relationship with the child's mother. The guy and I are no longer together and his child by the other lady is about to be taken by the state. They asked me last night can I take the child so she is not placed in foster care. My question if I do that do I suppose to adopt the child so I become the custodial parent or is this just like helping someone out? I am confused in this area please help! |
04-24-2009, 01:19 PM
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Originally Posted by WatsonFam  What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX
I currently have a child by a man that also has another child that I have a bond with and I have an okay relationship with the child's mother. The guy and I are no longer together and his child by the other lady is about to be taken by the state. They asked me last night can I take the child so she is not placed in foster care. My question if I do that do I suppose to adopt the child so I become the custodial parent or is this just like helping someone out? I am confused in this area please help! | Why isn't the FATHER taking the child?
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Adoptive parents ARE "real" parents. Sharing genes is not what makes you a "parent"!
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04-24-2009, 01:32 PM
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| | | Right now he is in Jail for non payment of child support he will probably be there for another 5 months or so. To be totally honest I dont think he wants the responsibility because he does not part take in any of his kids life. He do not even have someone stable to stay or a stable job and that is no life for a child to live house to house not knowing where next meal will come from.
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S. Watson  |
04-24-2009, 01:51 PM
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Originally Posted by WatsonFam Right now he is in Jail for non payment of child support he will probably be there for another 5 months or so. To be totally honest I dont think he wants the responsibility because he does not part take in any of his kids life. He do not even have someone stable to stay or a stable job and that is no life for a child to live house to house not knowing where next meal will come from. | And yet BOTH you and the other mom decided this unstable guy was a good choice with whom to risk becoming a coparent??
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Adoptive parents ARE "real" parents. Sharing genes is not what makes you a "parent"!
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04-24-2009, 01:51 PM
| | Member | | Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 354
| | | I believe (with the proper papers filed) you would be a temporary legal guardian. Why don't you call cps and discuss this with them? I'm sure the children would be better off with you than living with strangers. |
04-24-2009, 02:03 PM
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Originally Posted by mmmagique I believe (with the proper papers filed) you would be a temporary legal guardian. Why don't you call cps and discuss this with them? I'm sure the children would be better off with you than living with strangers. | I think that the whole point is to preempt CPS so that they will not have a reason to take the children into state custody.
The mother would need to sign papers appointing OP as the child's guardian, and it would need to be signed off on by a judge.
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04-24-2009, 02:04 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Ohio
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Originally Posted by WatsonFam What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX
I currently have a child by a man that also has another child that I have a bond with and I have an okay relationship with the child's mother. The guy and I are no longer together and his child by the other lady is about to be taken by the state. They asked me last night can I take the child so she is not placed in foster care. My question if I do that do I suppose to adopt the child so I become the custodial parent or is this just like helping someone out? I am confused in this area please help! | You would be the placement. You would NOT be the legal custodian -- that would be the state and nor would you be adopting the child at this juncture. The state is going to give mom a chance to be reunified with her child. This process can take a year or a bit longer depending on how far gone mom is. You are basically helping out the child and giving the child a safe, secure, stable kinship placement even though you are not related by blood. The child is comfortable with you and apparently you have a sibling of the child's. Hence you make a good familiar home for the child instead of foster care.
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Parents should remember three things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex (or soon to be ex) & when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death parts you & how you treat your children determines what type of nursing home you end up in.
Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship. The devil is in the details after all.
Licensed to practice law in Ohio and a Guardian Ad Litem for children
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04-24-2009, 02:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nextwife And yet BOTH you and the other mom decided this unstable guy was a good choice with whom to risk becoming a coparent?? | I understand what you are saying and I respect your opinion but you dont know the entire situation nor the age of my child meaning at this current time he could be unstable but maybe not at time I conceived my son he could have been in a different situation. I am currenly on here looking for help and advice not to be judged on my situation but your opinion is duley noted so you have good day!
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S. Watson |
04-24-2009, 02:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Ohiogal You would be the placement. You would NOT be the legal custodian -- that would be the state and nor would you be adopting the child at this juncture. The state is going to give mom a chance to be reunified with her child. This process can take a year or a bit longer depending on how far gone mom is. You are basically helping out the child and giving the child a safe, secure, stable kinship placement even though you are not related by blood. The child is comfortable with you and apparently you have a sibling of the child's. Hence you make a good familiar home for the child instead of foster care. | Now with that being said will that mean in order to maybe enroll the child in school and Dr appt and things of those nature I would have to go through the mother for her permission or signature because to be honest she has been evaluated on several different occassions and I believe this is the final straw for her. I am just trying to make sure if I need to put the little girl in school or take her to the Dr, appts, activities etc.. and the mom is no where to be found I would have the authority to do so.
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S. Watson |
04-24-2009, 02:37 PM
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Originally Posted by LdiJ I think that the whole point is to preempt CPS so that they will not have a reason to take the children into state custody.
The mother would need to sign papers appointing OP as the child's guardian, and it would need to be signed off on by a judge. | I have contacted CPS and have not received a response back yet via phone and email. I just wanted to get help before it gets down to the last min and I am broad sided and do not know our (me and the little girl) rights. Also like the other person stated we were trying to prevent CPS from taking her so she will not be placed in a foster care before she can come home with me but that also might be too late because the court date is this coming Tuesday.
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S. Watson |
04-24-2009, 02:44 PM
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Originally Posted by WatsonFam Now with that being said will that mean in order to maybe enroll the child in school and Dr appt and things of those nature I would have to go through the mother for her permission or signature because to be honest she has been evaluated on several different occassions and I believe this is the final straw for her. I am just trying to make sure if I need to put the little girl in school or take her to the Dr, appts, activities etc.. and the mom is no where to be found I would have the authority to do so. | No. The child will be in the custody of the state and placed with you. The state would enable you to enroll the child in school and do the doctor's appointments and such. You would have limited rights of signing for treatment and such as the child's placement. If mom does nothing then you would be able to eventually ask for custody of the child.
__________________
Parents should remember three things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex (or soon to be ex) & when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death parts you & how you treat your children determines what type of nursing home you end up in.
Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship. The devil is in the details after all.
Licensed to practice law in Ohio and a Guardian Ad Litem for children
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04-24-2009, 02:45 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Ohio
Posts: 31,781
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Originally Posted by WatsonFam I have contacted CPS and have not received a response back yet via phone and email. I just wanted to get help before it gets down to the last min and I am broad sided and do not know our (me and the little girl) rights. Also like the other person stated we were trying to prevent CPS from taking her so she will not be placed in a foster care before she can come home with me but that also might be too late because the court date is this coming Tuesday. | I might have misundersood then. Is CPS involved? What is the court date on Tuesday?If there is a court date CPS is involved. Who placed the child with you? When? Does CPS KNOW that the child is with you?
__________________
Parents should remember three things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex (or soon to be ex) & when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death parts you & how you treat your children determines what type of nursing home you end up in.
Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship. The devil is in the details after all.
Licensed to practice law in Ohio and a Guardian Ad Litem for children
|
04-26-2009, 08:51 PM
| | Member | | Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 118
| | | Since you are on limited time with the court date being on Tuesday, you may want to go to court with the mom so you and her both can testify that she wants the child to be placed with you. | |
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