What are my options?

What is the name of your state? Oklahoma Ok, let me see if I can just give the necessary facts here. My husbands cousin got pregnant and didnt know who the father was, however she had the baby and gave the baby a boyfriends last name. She wouldnt take care of the baby and didnt want it, (this wasnt her first child, she had 5 before that and they ended up with grandparents or the fathers, she see's them every once in a while)so my husband and I took the baby, the baby was 8 weeks old when we got him. The mother signed a paper that said she had given up all her rights as the mother and was signing the baby over to us, we had it notarized and all signed it, however of course, this is not a court document. We have not yet "Legally adopted" this child , we were told that family to family adoptions are very expensive(about $5000.00) and have not had the money to do this, we have other children too. Of course we love this child dearly, he is now 5 years old. One question I have is, can the biological father of this child ever come back and try to take him. Also, the kid who's last name is on this child's birth certificate from what we heard ended up in jail for murder not long after the baby was born and my husbands cousin broke up with him. She later confessed it wasnt his baby anyway, she thinks it was some one elses. I am a little concerned because I am not sure what my rights are. As I said we love this child with all of our hearts, there are times I forget, I mean really forget that I did not actually carry this child myself.

[Seanscott]

One thing you should always remember - the court will do whatever is in the best interest of the child.

After 5 years with you & your husband, I can't imagine a judge taking the child away from you and returning him to an obviously unfit mother. The notarized document WILL carry weight in court, especially with the mother's inability to care for her other children.

In the eyes of the court, the name on the birth certificate is presumed to be the father unless proven otherwise. If your cousin doesn't name another man, then the man in prison for murder will most likely have his parental rights terminated. He has abandoned the child and is unfit also.

If your cousin names another man as the father and he demands a paternity hearing & test, and is proven to be the father, he can ask for visitation and even custody. Just because he asks, doesn't mean he can have it. I think the biggest thing in your favor is the 5 years you've had the child.

If the adoption is finalized, a new birth certificate is issued with you & your husband as the biological parents. This is permanent and the court records are sealed. Depending on the judge, it may take up to a year.

You should find a good family lawyer and ask for a consultation. It may be free or it may cost you $100. In my opinion, the $5,000 is out of line.

I am not a lawyer, just someone going through a stepparent adoption and have had to learn the hard way. Hope I've helped a little.

Wishing you the best, you deserve it! Seanscott

wow, Thank you sooo much. That makes me feel alot better. I will look into that. I thought that amount seemed like an awful lot. Yes, we know who the other "potential father" is and he says if it is his he doesnt want the child either. He happens to be someone my husband knows of and has known all his life in fact. Just because of being neighbors and going to school together.

[Seanscott]

If he is the father, and will consent to the adoption, then things will go so much easier for all of you. Really, that is good news for your family.