This has come up recently... what do you say to a child that didn't know he was adopted but now has to appear in court.
I recommend, first, against lying to a child. Especially over something like this that you KNOW is going to come out later.
Heck, half of the kids in my daughters school room are step this or that... including her half sister.
I have been the stepfather of a wonderful girl for ten years.
Dad has never been in the picture. Ever. Not once.
And my stepdaughter KNOWS I am not her father. To tell her anything else is wrong... You tell kids to trust you and to believe in your because you will never lie to them....
This is a great place to prove that.
Yes, your child will have to be present at the adoption proceedings. Yes, I recommend having a talk with your child prior to that time.
Something along the lines of "We are going to make our family official. This is a very special day. In fact, our family is SO special that we are going to have a judge make sure that everyone else in the whole world knows that we are a family and always will be. Son/daughter, YOU get to be a part of this. You will be asked if you want me and <insert step dad's name here and it better not be "daddy"> to be a family with you. Don't worry.... if you say no, we all still go home in the same car to the same house and we love you the same. By saying yes, though, the whole world will be able to see how much we all love each other.
Before mommy met <insert step dad's name here and it better not be "daddy">, she created you with the help of another man who is in the courtroom. I thank God everyday for this man because he gave me you. However, not all men that are good at helping to create children (and I know he is good at it because look how wonderful YOU are) are great at doing the million and one things that Daddies do everyday for the children they love. To make sure that the right people get the right jobs, we go to court.
From now on, on this day, we will all celebrate "Family Day". It will be kind of like a birthday... with a cake and special dinner... but it will celebrate the day that we told the world we are a family and will be forever.
Would you like that?"
Court is already imposing and scary enough for a child. Leave your hatred of the man you chose to make a baby with at the door.
After all, he participated in the miracle of your son. He should be respected at least a little for that.
I recommend, first, against lying to a child. Especially over something like this that you KNOW is going to come out later.
Heck, half of the kids in my daughters school room are step this or that... including her half sister.
I have been the stepfather of a wonderful girl for ten years.
Dad has never been in the picture. Ever. Not once.
And my stepdaughter KNOWS I am not her father. To tell her anything else is wrong... You tell kids to trust you and to believe in your because you will never lie to them....
This is a great place to prove that.
Yes, your child will have to be present at the adoption proceedings. Yes, I recommend having a talk with your child prior to that time.
Something along the lines of "We are going to make our family official. This is a very special day. In fact, our family is SO special that we are going to have a judge make sure that everyone else in the whole world knows that we are a family and always will be. Son/daughter, YOU get to be a part of this. You will be asked if you want me and <insert step dad's name here and it better not be "daddy"> to be a family with you. Don't worry.... if you say no, we all still go home in the same car to the same house and we love you the same. By saying yes, though, the whole world will be able to see how much we all love each other.
Before mommy met <insert step dad's name here and it better not be "daddy">, she created you with the help of another man who is in the courtroom. I thank God everyday for this man because he gave me you. However, not all men that are good at helping to create children (and I know he is good at it because look how wonderful YOU are) are great at doing the million and one things that Daddies do everyday for the children they love. To make sure that the right people get the right jobs, we go to court.
From now on, on this day, we will all celebrate "Family Day". It will be kind of like a birthday... with a cake and special dinner... but it will celebrate the day that we told the world we are a family and will be forever.
Would you like that?"
Court is already imposing and scary enough for a child. Leave your hatred of the man you chose to make a baby with at the door.
After all, he participated in the miracle of your son. He should be respected at least a little for that.
