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10-10-2008, 01:10 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 16
| | | Who's the daddy?
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas
My 17 year old son is one of 3 possible fathers of a 14 year old pregnant girl. Her parents have not contacted the other 2 possibles or their parents(one being 17 the other 16). They want the girl to give the baby up for adoption. We have spoke to them and informed them that if our son is the daddy he is not, nor are we for that matter, willing to give up this child. The girls parents have said they already have been looking a prospective adoptive parents. Obviously, the paternaty wont be established until the baby is born. What do we do to insure they do not allow someone to adopt the baby if it is our son's? Who will take the baby home until paternity is established?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? |
10-10-2008, 01:17 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: St. Odo of Cluny Parish
Posts: 28,211
| | | Hire a lawyer.
Yesterday.
Have sonny checked for diseases.
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There are two rules for success:
(1) Never tell everything you know.
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10-10-2008, 01:26 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 16
| | | Thanks!
Should I be scared? Worried? |
10-10-2008, 01:30 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 17,475
| | | Is Sonny capable of providing this child the financial and emotional support the baby needs? Paying for their support and providing health care and child care costs? Of staying near wherever Mom is living, maybe giving up going away for college or employment (as Mom would likely retain custody) and being there to co-parent his child for the next 18 years??
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Adoptive parents ARE "real" parents. Sharing genes is not what makes you a "parent"!
Last edited by nextwife; 10-10-2008 at 01:33 PM.
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10-10-2008, 01:45 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 16
| | | My husband and I have given our son the option to allow us to adopt the child and raise it or To help him do it but NOT do it for him. It would be a major change in his life. Being a teen parent myself, I know how tough it can be at times.
As far as the love and finances, he is only 17 and still in high school. He could not financially do it alone at first, so he would need our help. Love, No doubt! |
10-10-2008, 01:51 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Hawthorne, CA
Posts: 3,010
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by TXMimi  My husband and I have given our son the option to allow us to adopt the child and raise it or To help him do it but NOT do it for him. It would be a major change in his life. Being a teen parent myself, I know how tough it can be at times.
As far as the love and finances, he is only 17 and still in high school. He could not financially do it alone at first, so he would need our help. Love, No doubt! | son will need an attorney. mom may not consent to YOU adopting the child. just like mom can't adopt out with out establishing/disestablishing whoever the father is to adopt to who she wants, your son can't do the same.
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it's not about how much baggage you have, it's about whether or not you can carry your own baggage with grace and dignity.
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10-10-2008, 02:13 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 16
| | | So, what I'm getting is that the mom(14yr old) would have to establish paternity prior to being able to allow someone to adopt? I don't know how long DNA testing takes but considering newborns generally only stay 24-48hrs in the hospital, who takes the baby home while we are waiting?
Her parents have said they are not giving her a choice to keep the child. I have spoke with an adoption attorney whom has informed us once the child is born there will be 2 parents. If the mom wants to give up her rights she can(of course with her parents signing the legal paper work b/c of her age) That would leave the daddy as only responsible party. If it is our son's he,(and we) have no problem with her doing so. However, I am concerned about the babies well being. Without a doubt I believe everything needs to be done legally, not without legal paperwork completed. I would hate for that child to get stuck in some sort of warp zone being pulled from one place to another to another. The baby has to have stablility! |
10-10-2008, 02:20 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: CO
Posts: 13,127
| | TX adoption laws post right here on the first page. 
[url]http://forum.freeadvice.com/adoption-34/adopting-cousins-unborn-child-432110.html[/url]
There's more. Use the search function. Limit the search to TX.
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"Judges want people to be reasonable. Where one parent won't be reasonable, judges still want the other parent to remain reasonable." Ford, at The Other Place |
10-10-2008, 02:27 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 16
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Thank you! I will do the research! |
10-10-2008, 02:39 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 21,751
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by TXMimi Thank you! I will do the research! | You also might want to find out when this girl's birthday is. Because if your son turns 18 before she turns 15, your son is going to prison for a long time. The age of consent in Texas is 17. This child was raped. And apparently your son is one of the perpetrators. Quote: |
It is an affirmative defense to prosecution under this section that the actor...was not more than three years older than the victim and of the opposite sex...(and) did not use duress, force, or a threat against the victim at the time of the offence" and is not a registered sex offender {Section 21.11(b)
| So if she doesn't turn 15 until after your baby turns 18, your son is a sex offender and under Adam Walsh Act will get to register for at least the next fifteen years as such -- which will impact college, jobs, earning potential and various other things. Your son needs a lawyer. IMMEDIATELY. Before anything is done.
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Parents should remember two things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex (or soon to be ex) and when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death parts you.
Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship. My advice is based on the law and not deemed to necessarily apply to the specifics of your case. The devil is in the details after all. |
10-10-2008, 02:41 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 21,751
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by TXMimi My husband and I have given our son the option to allow us to adopt the child and raise it or To help him do it but NOT do it for him. It would be a major change in his life. Being a teen parent myself, I know how tough it can be at times.
As far as the love and finances, he is only 17 and still in high school. He could not financially do it alone at first, so he would need our help. Love, No doubt! | A child is NOT an it. Oh and by the way, you won't be able to adopt the child without mom's permission. As well as your son's if he is daddy> But consider the fact that legally he has raped this child. No love in rape.
__________________
Parents should remember two things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex (or soon to be ex) and when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death parts you.
Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship. My advice is based on the law and not deemed to necessarily apply to the specifics of your case. The devil is in the details after all. |
10-10-2008, 02:42 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 21,751
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by TXMimi So, what I'm getting is that the mom(14yr old) would have to establish paternity prior to being able to allow someone to adopt? I don't know how long DNA testing takes but considering newborns generally only stay 24-48hrs in the hospital, who takes the baby home while we are waiting?
Her parents have said they are not giving her a choice to keep the child. I have spoke with an adoption attorney whom has informed us once the child is born there will be 2 parents. If the mom wants to give up her rights she can(of course with her parents signing the legal paper work b/c of her age) That would leave the daddy as only responsible party. If it is our son's he,(and we) have no problem with her doing so. However, I am concerned about the babies well being. Without a doubt I believe everything needs to be done legally, not without legal paperwork completed. I would hate for that child to get stuck in some sort of warp zone being pulled from one place to another to another. The baby has to have stablility! |
Mom's rights will not be terminated if dad fights for custody of his child. But the baby goes home with mom. As dad is not dad until paternity is established.
__________________
Parents should remember two things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex (or soon to be ex) and when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death parts you.
Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship. My advice is based on the law and not deemed to necessarily apply to the specifics of your case. The devil is in the details after all. |
10-10-2008, 04:29 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 17,475
| | | I think you are dreaming if you think mom's mom will allow you to adopt the child. The most likely options are these:
A. Sonny blocks the adoption, mom keeps child. Dad has charges leveled against him for statutory rape. Son then pays child support, health care and day care costs for at least the next 18 years. And probably has minimal chance to raise child due to rape charges and likely order of protection keeping dad away.
B. Dad cooperates with mom's family decision that a child of rape hnot be raised by her or the father, baby gets adopted, has mature adults as parents and maybe son doesn't get charged w/ raping a 14 year old child.
__________________
Adoptive parents ARE "real" parents. Sharing genes is not what makes you a "parent"!
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10-10-2008, 04:49 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,672
| | | I would actually be more worried about how your child is going to survive prison.
Everyone is schtuping a 14 year old child, and all you want to do is fight over a baby that isn't yours.
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by jdslilangel Just leave it as is and stop making yourselves sound real stupid about the sisutation at hand. Further more I don't need to know how to spell corcetly on here. I know how to spell perfectly fine. I did graduate high school and never once had any problems with my grammer. | |
10-10-2008, 08:11 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 16
| | | The expected mother is going to be 15 this month.The baby isn't due til the end of April. My son just turned 17 at the end of July. With that being said prison is not in the picture. The girls parents are not going to allow her to keep the baby so her taking the baby home isnt an option. | |
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