 | 
10-11-2008, 12:02 AM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 10
| |  would this be considered abandonment?
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New york
My daughter is 22 months old... her biological father has seen her a few times (day she was born, once a month later, twice when was 6 months old -on accident and for visitation, and once when she was 18 months old). He has only supervised visits, has has not asked about her or or even shown up for visitations. My husband is the only father she knows and wants to adopt her. Is this considered abandonment - not asking about her or seeing her? On top of that he does not have a job or car to meet me at visitations. And he already has a few Child protective service investagtions (with his other children)- would that be a factor in adoption as well?  |
10-11-2008, 12:12 AM
| | Member | | Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: IN
Posts: 799
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by ndaniel  What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New york
My daughter is 22 months old... her biological father has seen her a few times (day she was born, once a month later, twice when was 6 months old -on accident and for visitation, and once when she was 18 months old). He has only supervised visits, has has not asked about her or or even shown up for visitations. My husband is the only father she knows and wants to adopt her. Is this considered abandonment - not asking about her or seeing her? On top of that he does not have a job or car to meet me at visitations. And he already has a few Child protective service investagtions (with his other children)- would that be a factor in adoption as well? | Has he been legally adjudicated as the father of this child?
__________________
Originally Posted by cbg Quote: |
Just because you see it on Law and Order doesn't mean that's the way it works in the real world. They have a script.
| |
10-11-2008, 08:28 AM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 10
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Indiana Filer Has he been legally adjudicated as the father of this child? | I'm sorry - I'm not quite sure what that means.
I guess the reason why I'm asking - with all these factors involved, the biological father seems to have no interest since the day she was born ... If my husband and I file for an adoption could we be denied if he is spiteful and not willing to give up his rights? Or with a history of non involvment with the child, could my husband still be able to adopt? |
10-11-2008, 08:44 AM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: are those flames?!!!
Posts: 3,092
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by ndaniel I'm sorry - I'm not quite sure what that means. | It means....have you gone to court to establish that he is indeed the father? Has a DNA test been done. Quote:
Originally Posted by ndaniel I guess the reason why I'm asking - with all these factors involved, the biological father seems to have no interest since the day she was born ... If my husband and I file for an adoption could we be denied if he is spiteful and not willing to give up his rights? Or with a history of non involvment with the child, could my husband still be able to adopt? | If you haven't had him legally declared to be the father, then he has no child to abandon.
__________________
Please HELP me!!! Now there are three of THEM!!!!!!  |
10-11-2008, 01:09 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 10
| | | he is on the birth certificate I didn't think a dna test was needed for that... - he doesn't ask about her and doesn't come to his visitations. |
10-11-2008, 01:31 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 33,549
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by ndaniel he is on the birth certificate I didn't think a dna test was needed for that... - he doesn't ask about her and doesn't come to his visitations. | Abandonment usually requires a minimum of one full year of no contact at all. No visits, letters, emails, phone calls, texts and no payment of child support.
__________________
in vino veritas |
10-11-2008, 02:41 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 10
| | | Great. thats only a few more months ... so I have some time to file. thanks for all your help. |
10-11-2008, 03:26 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: are those flames?!!!
Posts: 3,092
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by ndaniel Great. thats only a few more months ... so I have some time to file. thanks for all your help. | Don't get excited and make sure you get an attorney. Has the father been declared LEGALLY to be the father.
__________________
Please HELP me!!! Now there are three of THEM!!!!!! |
10-11-2008, 04:23 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 10
| | | Legally... I think so ... we have an order custody order... I have sole/physical custody (?) He declared that he was the father then... no? |
10-11-2008, 07:42 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: are those flames?!!!
Posts: 3,092
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by ndaniel Legally... I think so ... we have an order custody order... I have sole/physical custody (?) He declared that he was the father then... no? | Thank you. Now, get an attorney as it still isn't going to be easy unless the father agrees to the adoption. NY judges like to give lots of chances before they let the adoption go through.
__________________
Please HELP me!!! Now there are three of THEM!!!!!! |
10-12-2008, 07:37 AM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 21,751
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by ndaniel Great. thats only a few more months ... so I have some time to file. thanks for all your help. | Actually that is at least 8 months as he saw her when she was 18 months old. Also letters, cards, money sent, and a variety of other things are also considered contact.
__________________
Parents should remember two things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex (or soon to be ex) and when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death parts you.
Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship. My advice is based on the law and not deemed to necessarily apply to the specifics of your case. The devil is in the details after all. |
10-12-2008, 09:15 AM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 10
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohiogal Actually that is at least 8 months as he saw her when she was 18 months old. Also letters, cards, money sent, and a variety of other things are also considered contact. | He has NEVER sent cards, letters, emails, LET ALONE money or anything. We have a child support order he's violation for ... that's another story. He is too busy finding a mother for the children that he does have living with him to remember about the others that don't. But again... that's another story. We have a court date in Nov. and I would like to file after the Holidays ... So by then it should be about a year perhaps, less. |
10-12-2008, 10:27 AM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 21,751
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by ndaniel He has NEVER sent cards, letters, emails, LET ALONE money or anything. We have a child support order he's violation for ... that's another story. He is too busy finding a mother for the children that he does have living with him to remember about the others that don't. But again... that's another story. We have a court date in Nov. and I would like to file after the Holidays ... So by then it should be about a year perhaps, less. | YOU CANNOT file then because of this: Quote: |
My daughter is 22 months old... her biological father has seen her a few times (day she was born, once a month later, twice when was 6 months old -on accident and for visitation, and once when she was 18 months old).
| He saw her FOUR MONTHS AGO. By your words. 22 minus 18 is four. Hence in order to have no contact for a year that would mean another 8 months. That is simple mathematics. Next June will be a year provided he doesn't contact or attempt contact between now and then. Oh and why is the visitation supervised?
__________________
Parents should remember two things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex (or soon to be ex) and when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death parts you.
Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship. My advice is based on the law and not deemed to necessarily apply to the specifics of your case. The devil is in the details after all. |
10-12-2008, 02:20 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 10
| | | I could file. IT's a matter if he gives up his rights or not. I was just asking if the situation my daughter was in was in fact abandonment. I has no interest in my daughter. And because he has supervised visits... well why does any one have supervised visits? Because by NY state thought he is an unfit father which he is... in the other posts I explained a bit... I will not get into details about that ... that's not the issue. Supervised visits or not he has not asked about her, written, emailed, called, texted, about her since as long as I could remember. And the only reason he saw her when she was 18 month was I was nice enough to come to her half siblings birthday. I know that still counts as a visit but t wasn't even at the designated visitation spot. Other than that he has not made an effort and that is stated in our custody order. Thank you everyone else for your help. My question has been answered. Most of you were nice enough to help. |
10-12-2008, 05:18 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 21,751
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by ndaniel I could file. IT's a matter if he gives up his rights or not. I was just asking if the situation my daughter was in was in fact abandonment. I has no interest in my daughter. And because he has supervised visits... well why does any one have supervised visits? Because by NY state thought he is an unfit father which he is... in the other posts I explained a bit... I will not get into details about that ... that's not the issue. Supervised visits or not he has not asked about her, written, emailed, called, texted, about her since as long as I could remember. And the only reason he saw her when she was 18 month was I was nice enough to come to her half siblings birthday. I know that still counts as a visit but t wasn't even at the designated visitation spot. Other than that he has not made an effort and that is stated in our custody order. Thank you everyone else for your help. My question has been answered. Most of you were nice enough to help. | Visitation is supervised for lots of reasons and not because someone is unfit. If he were unfit his rights could be terminated. But apparently he is not unfit. And believe it or not I was trying to help. But won't make that mistake again.
__________________
Parents should remember two things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex (or soon to be ex) and when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death parts you.
Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship. My advice is based on the law and not deemed to necessarily apply to the specifics of your case. The devil is in the details after all. | |
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests) | | | | Thread Tools | | | | Display Modes | Rate This Thread |  Linear Mode | | 
Posting Rules
| You may not post new threads You may not post replies You may not post attachments You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off | | | |
|
