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10-27-2008, 12:05 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 7
| | | Wrong father on bc
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oregon
While my fiance, James, and his wife were married she became pregnant with another man's child..she subsequently gave the child up for adoption sometime in 2005 in Oregon. Last week we found out that James' name is on the child's birth certificate. Is there any way to change that? He is very upset obviously since the child was not his and they never approached him to sign his "parental" rights away. Is the adoption even really legal since they didn't do that? Not that he wants the child but he doesn't want the boy to come to him when he gets older and have to explain to him what happened. Especially since he would be a lot easier to find that the mom (she's got a huge meth problem and goes from place to place and from guy to guy). Do we leave it be or try to correct it? Any advice would be super. Since we are super confused  What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? |
10-27-2008, 01:24 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 21,751
| | | YOU do NOTHING. Your fiance is the legal father of this child and as such should have been served if an adoption took place. How did he find out he is on the birth certificate? How did he find out the child was adopted? And don't say because his meth addict wife told him so.
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Parents should remember two things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex (or soon to be ex) and when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death parts you.
Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship. My advice is based on the law and not deemed to necessarily apply to the specifics of your case. The devil is in the details after all. |
10-27-2008, 01:41 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: St. Odo of Cluny Parish
Posts: 28,211
| | | Yes, I agree with OhioGAL; we need to know HOW your husband found out all that stuff.
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10-30-2008, 05:39 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 7
| | | How he found out
Lets see...she lived with him while she was pregnant and shortly after she had the child since he did hope that she would shape up, he did offer to raise the child as his own but she wasn't interersted...he met the adoptive parents. None of this is word of mouth from the mother she will tell you flat out that the father is "some guy from germany" she also claims that she did NOT list James as the father. But it is our understanding that the adoption case worker was told he is the father and he is also listed on the birth cert and the baby was given my fiances' last name even though the "wife" was using her maiden name again at that point. I don't want to betray the confidence of the person who told us but they have nothing to gain other than getting it off their chest. |
10-30-2008, 07:16 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
Posts: 6,095
| | | If James was married to her when she gave birth and James' name is on the birth certificate... I'm not sure why you say the wrong man's name is listed.
Children born of a marriage LEGALLY belong to the husband and wife, no matter WHO impregnated her.
Oh... and mind your business.
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CC's rule of life #1.2:
Parents: If you give your children the opportunity to learn how to live without you, don't be mad years from now when they do. In order to have a relationship with your children, you have to stay INVOLVED with your children. At all costs, even if it makes the CP or your kids mad. |
10-30-2008, 09:29 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 7
| | | My understading of Oregon law is that if the child was not his he doesn't have to be on the birth cert. You can sign an affidavit as to that. My main concerns are 1. He was never asked or ordered or otherwise to give up said rights to this child that was "his" but put up for adoption 2. That child may come look for him someday, and since he would be way easier to find than she will be he will be left to explain. As far as minding my business..I am asking on behalf of him, not doing anything behind his back. |
10-31-2008, 05:10 AM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 21,751
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrsp  My understading of Oregon law is that if the child was not his he doesn't have to be on the birth cert. You can sign an affidavit as to that. My main concerns are 1. He was never asked or ordered or otherwise to give up said rights to this child that was "his" but put up for adoption 2. That child may come look for him someday, and since he would be way easier to find than she will be he will be left to explain. As far as minding my business..I am asking on behalf of him, not doing anything behind his back. | You have been given the facts. End of story.
__________________
Parents should remember two things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex (or soon to be ex) and when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death parts you.
Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship. My advice is based on the law and not deemed to necessarily apply to the specifics of your case. The devil is in the details after all. |
10-31-2008, 12:38 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 7
| | | Still doesn't answer my questions....A. Can the adoption have legally proceeded without his notice since he is the "legal father"?
B. Since the child isn't his is the easiest recourse to do nothing but wait and see if he ever tries to find him and then deal with it? Or is it better or even possible to fix it now?
No need to be mean or chastise me I am trying to help my soon to be hubby fix this or at least prepare for what may come understand his shock when he found this out. |
11-04-2008, 01:58 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Kansas City
Posts: 9,872
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrsp Still doesn't answer my questions....A. Can the adoption have legally proceeded without his notice since he is the "legal father"? | Maybe. Though I'm finding it somewhat difficult to understand how he met the adoptive parents, mom lived with him at the time, etc and he's claiming he knew nothing about the adoption. Quote: |
B. Since the child isn't his is the easiest recourse to do nothing but wait and see if he ever tries to find him and then deal with it? Or is it better or even possible to fix it now?
| There's nothing he can do at this point. Legally, he was the child's father prior to the adoption because legally he was married to mom at the time. He did not dispute paternity at the time and it is too late to do-so now.
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11-04-2008, 06:20 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 7
| | | He knew about the adoption, but was clueless about being on the birth certificate. He didn't know that the husbands name automatically goes on the bc, she did have the option to sign a n affidavit saying he wasn't the father. Since the baby was given up he didn't give much thought to it either way. He wasn't present at the birth and wasn't at any point asked to sign anything regarding the adoption.
It appears to be a wait and see if we have a visitor years down the road if there is nothing to do to correct, obviously it doesn't affect him financially so we do nothing but wait.
Thank you! | |
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