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Wrongful adoption

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Julie78

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

My biological mother died when I was 1 year old, my brother was a few days old. My father remarried when I was three, and my stepmother "adopted" me and my brother, but it was not a legal adoption, they basically just registered us again, got rid of our old birth certificates and created new ones with her name on it. I never knew about this until I was about 10, when I accidentally stumbled upon a marriage certificate. It was pretty shocking to find out.

She got pregnant before she married my father, so I had a half-brother right away. My father is an alcoholic, extremely abusive, so the family was pretty dysfunctional. I never had a great relationship with this woman, but she was the only person I knew to be my mother. My father struggled financially all the time, but despite this, and despite the alcoholism and abuse, after 7 years of marriage she wanted to have another baby. She managed to convince my father, so they tried for a 4th kid. She had a natural abortion the first time, so she tried again and was successful the second time.

By the time I was 16 and enter my first year of high school, reality hits. She realized the first college tuition to be paid was mine, then my brother's, and then her son. This is when she finally started "planning" how to pay for college. Except, of course, she only planned for her two kids. She immediately filed for a divorce. At that point my father was building houses for a living, and had gotten a big bank loan for a specific house. The judge awarded her that house, leaving my father indebted for life. He begged her to let him sell the house, and offered to leave, but she declined.

My father was drinking a lot because of this, so I asked her if I could go live with her, to which she responded: "No. We can continue to see each other, but I'm no longer your mother." I was homeless ever since. I bounced from place to place, became incredibly depressed, wasn't able to finish college due to financial problems and depression. Meantime, my half-brother traveled the world, went to private university, and had a completely different life.

In retrospect, I can see this woman had an agenda. She wanted to have two children, pretend to have a happy family, and then send her two children to private schools. She would do this no matter what, and if that meant adopting us and then dumping us, it didn't matter.

My question is: Can she just get away with this? Or is there some kind of legal recourse?

Thanks.
 
Last edited:


Proserpina

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

My biological mother died when I was 1 year old, my brother was a few days old. My father remarried when I was three, and my stepmother "adopted" me and my brother, but it was not a legal adoption, they basically just registered us again, got rid of our old birth certificates and created new ones with her name on it. I never knew about this until I was about 10, when I accidentally stumbled upon a marriage certificate. It was pretty shocking to find out.

She got pregnant before she married my father, so I had a half-brother right away. My father is an alcoholic, extremely abusive, so the family was pretty dysfunctional. I never had a great relationship with this woman, but she was the only person I knew to be my mother. My father struggled financially all the time, but despite this, and despite the alcoholism and abuse, after 7 years of marriage she wanted to have another baby. She managed to convince my father, so they tried for a 4th kid. She had a natural abortion the first time, so she tried again and was successful the second time.

By the time I was 16 and enter my first year of high school, reality hits. She realized the first college tuition to be paid was mine, then my brother's, and then her son. This is when she finally started "planning" how to pay for college. Except, of course, she only planned for her two kids. She immediately filed for a divorce. At that point my father was building houses for a living, and had gotten a big bank loan for a specific house. The judge awarded her that house, leaving my father indebted for life. He begged her to let him sell the house, and offered to leave, but she declined.

My father was drinking a lot because of this, so I asked her if I could go live with her, to which she responded: "No. We can continue to see each other, but I'm no longer your mother." I was homeless ever since. I bounced from place to place, became incredibly depressed, wasn't able to finish college due to financial problems and depression. Meantime, my half-brother traveled the world, went to private university, and had a completely different life.

In retrospect, I can see this woman had an agenda. She wanted to have two children, pretend to have a happy family, and then send her two children to private schools. She would do this no matter what, and if that meant adopting us and then dumping us, it didn't matter.

My question is: Can she just get away with this? Or is there some kind of legal recourse?

Thanks.


No recourse whatsoever.

Sorry.
 

Eekamouse

Senior Member
You don't seriously think they could have just tossed the old birth certificates out and forged new ones, do you? She didn't do anything illegal by not paying for your college costs.
 

Julie78

Junior Member
You don't seriously think they could have just tossed the old birth certificates out and forged new ones, do you? She didn't do anything illegal by not paying for your college costs.
"You don't seriously think they could have just tossed the old birth certificates out and forged new ones, do you?"

No, I didn't "think" it, they did it.

My question was related to someone "adopting" a kid and dumping them before they're 18. I wasn't 18 yet when she said she was no longer my parent and left me to my own devices.
 

cbg

I'm a Northern Girl
And just how do you suppose she managed to "throw away" the original record of your birth and original birth certificates that are held in the state records? How did she manage to insert the new, forged birth certificates there?
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
"You don't seriously think they could have just tossed the old birth certificates out and forged new ones, do you?"

No, I didn't "think" it, they did it.

My question was related to someone "adopting" a kid and dumping them before they're 18. I wasn't 18 yet when she said she was no longer my parent and left me to my own devices.

Please see post #2.

Again.
 

Julie78

Junior Member
And just how do you suppose she managed to "throw away" the original record of your birth and original birth certificates that are held in the state records? How did she manage to insert the new, forged birth certificates there?
How am I supposed to know this? I have never researched it. How could they not do it?
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Julie, we know what's going on.

But in case some other hapless prune has a question about all of this, allow me to clarify.

"Do I have any legal recourse?"

No. Non. Nyet. Nein. Nee. Jo. Nahi.

You're welcome.
 

Eekamouse

Senior Member
OP, how is it that you KNOW what your adopted mother's thoughts and intentions were when "reality hit?" You're assuming an awful lot. Your parents are not required to pay for your college, you know. Why are you focusing on her regarding that instead of your father if you think you are owed college costs?
 

single317dad

Senior Member
OP, the person to blame here is your father. Any recourse against the mother was/is his to enforce. What happened with the adoption is likely information he has personally and has not disclosed to you. What you believe to be true is probably not so. If any crime was committed at that time, it's likely the SoL has run on it. Now, get thee to therapy and move on with your life.
 

cbg

I'm a Northern Girl
How am I supposed to know this? I have never researched it. How could they not do it?
Well, you'd better come up with an answer to this one if you intend to keep flinging accusations around the internet. Because there are two possible answers:

1.) The original birth certificate is still in the state records, exactly where it's supposed to be and there is not "forged" record at all

or

2.) The new birth certificate was not forged but was issued by the state, in which case the adoption legally took place.

There are NO other possibilities.
 

Eekamouse

Senior Member
Well, it's also possible that OP is delusional and the woman whom she claims adopted her is actually her real mother and the rest is just a fantasy.
 
I am not paying for my daughter's College- I birthed her and raised her and she is Amazing- but she got grants, Scholarships And loans.

You don't get to choose your parents- nor your stepparents and if Your story is to be taken at face value your Dad did a pretty craptacular job too...why aren't you blaming him, why is it all her? Sucks that part of your childhood wasnt ideal, Join the club.

My daughter's step mom emotionally tormented daughter. Daughter blames dad too, because he didn't protect her.

You have no monetary recourse. No parent is obligated to pay for college unless there is a court order, a minor account they are abusing or some Trust they aren't dispersing correctly.

If you were a homeless minor, the police should have been involved and BOTH of your parents would have been held responsible.

In addition, just because your birth moms name was replaced on your bc doesn't mean it was illegal. My step dad adopted me and my birth fathers name was replaced with his. ..poof, history was rewritten. Legally.
 

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