Alimony

[KSilva_1982]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MA
I have filed the divorce papers & our custody hearing is on Thursday. My ex has been harassing me & he told me yesterday that if I am dating somebody that I am commiting adultery & I will have to pay him alimony. I don't think thats true, but I figured I would ask.

 

[Isis1]

in a legal stand point, unless a divorce order is signed by a judge, you are still married, therefore you are commiting adultry.

as for the alimony part, i'll let the seniors answer that question,

i will jump on a limb and say adultry is not a only standing factor in paying alimony to another spouse.

 

[KSilva_1982]

Oh, I forgot to mention that we have 2 minor children that live with me, not him. I am going to receive full physical custody because he doesn't have a place to live (he's staying in his mother's 1 bedroom apartment) & he has no car.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Are you seeing someone? In bed? I certainly would be very celibate before an upcoming custody battle.

 

[LdiJ]

Oh, I forgot to mention that we have 2 minor children that live with me, not him. I am going to receive full physical custody because he doesn't have a place to live (he's staying in his mother's 1 bedroom apartment) & he has no car.

Hon, the fact that he is living with his mother in a 1 bedroom apartment is not necessarily a factor in making a custody determination....nor is the fact that he doesn't have a car.

If you go into court using those as your arguments, then you may end up with results that you won't like.

He is blowing smoke regarding the alimony. However if you are dating, you better keep things VERY quiet (and out of sight of the children) until after your divorce is final.

 

[KSilva_1982]

I'm not using that in the custody argument, actually he is going to use that in the child support arguement stating that he has no money, no car, & the fact that he lives in his mom's 1 bedroom apt. so he can try to pay less in child support. The 1 bedroom that he lives in is with his mom & he states that he can not take the kids overnight because of it, so that's actually the arguement that he's going to use not me lol. I am not sleeping with anybody, I don't even have a boyfriend or anything, I have a friend & we are staying friends until the divorce is final & no I didn't meet him during my relationship with my husband. I am just asking about the alimony because that's what he's saying that he will say that I am seeing somebody so that I will have to pay him alimony. The reason I mentioned the kids is because would a judge order me to pay alimony when I have our 2 kids or would that not fly? I'm sorry, I don't usually say things the way I want to, sometimes it comes out sounding different than what I really mean to say.

 

[Ohiogal]

I'm not using that in the custody argument, actually he is going to use that in the child support arguement stating that he has no money, no car, & the fact that he lives in his mom's 1 bedroom apt. so he can try to pay less in child support. The 1 bedroom that he lives in is with his mom & he states that he can not take the kids overnight because of it, so that's actually the arguement that he's going to use not me lol. I am not sleeping with anybody, I don't even have a boyfriend or anything, I have a friend & we are staying friends until the divorce is final & no I didn't meet him during my relationship with my husband. I am just asking about the alimony because that's what he's saying that he will say that I am seeing somebody so that I will have to pay him alimony. The reason I mentioned the kids is because would a judge order me to pay alimony when I have our 2 kids or would that not fly? I'm sorry, I don't usually say things the way I want to, sometimes it comes out sounding different than what I really mean to say.

Still doesn't mean that you will get full custody and it is possible that you will have to pay alimony even if you have the children primarily.

 

[KSilva_1982]

Ok, thank you for the answers, I am just concerned because I know he is trying to "punish" me because I am the one who left. Even though neither one of us was happy & we have both been unhappy for the past 2 years, I am the one who decided to "end" it. He does not have any arguement as to me having custody & him being the visitation parent, he is just trying to find ways to pay less child support. His mother won't even allow the kids to spend a night there, so there's no way he's going to try & get custody of our kids.

Oh, & I forgot to mention that we have only been legally married for 6 years (for the alimony part).

 

[Ohiogal]

Ok, thank you for the answers, I am just concerned because I know he is trying to "punish" me because I am the one who left. Even though neither one of us was happy & we have both been unhappy for the past 2 years, I am the one who decided to "end" it. He does not have any arguement as to me having custody & him being the visitation parent, he is just trying to find ways to pay less child support. His mother won't even allow the kids to spend a night there, so there's no way he's going to try & get custody of our kids.

Oh, & I forgot to mention that we have only been legally married for 6 years (for the alimony part).

And you would be considering leaving the children with him?????

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Actually, if dad isn't taking the children overnight, he could actually see his child support go UP.