Alimony

[Oxanna]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida.

Part of my mediation agreement says I can get alimony. I was married for 28 years and 30 by the time the divorce was final. The problem was my ex was not employed and dragged out not working, so as to not have to give me any alimony. We actually had a trial, whereby, I asked for alimony and the Judge denied me any. Since that time I have been forced to file bankrupty and will probably lose my residence. The Judge seemed quite impressed with my ex and his Mercedes. I now want to file a Contempt motion as there have been other issues that have not been solidified. I can't hire a lawyer, nor do I want one. If I file this on my own I am worried that the Judge will just dismiss me again as he has already done. I gave up 61% of my 401K and gave up my marital home so that I could count on alimony since I was a stay at home mom and do not have a strong earning power. Can I do this?

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Oxanna

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida.

Part of my mediation agreement says I can get alimony. I was married for 28 years and 30 by the time the divorce was final. The problem was my ex was not employed and dragged out not working, so as to not have to give me any alimony. We actually had a trial, whereby, I asked for alimony and the Judge denied me any. Since that time I have been forced to file bankrupty and will probably lose my residence. The Judge seemed quite impressed with my ex and his Mercedes. I now want to file a Contempt motion as there have been other issues that have not been solidified. I can't hire a lawyer, nor do I want one. If I file this on my own I am worried that the Judge will just dismiss me again as he has already done. I gave up 61% of my 401K and gave up my marital home so that I could count on alimony since I was a stay at home mom and do not have a strong earning power. Can I do this?

If you asked for alimony, and were denied by the judge, and that happened AFTER your mediation agreement, then I don't think that you can go back and ask for alimony now.

However, the only way you can get a definitely accurate answer, is if someone can actually look over your court documents. You really ought to at least get a consult with a local attorney.

[nextwife]

Originally Posted by Oxanna

. . . so that I could count on alimony since I was a stay at home mom and do not have a strong earning power. Can I do this?

Problem is, you can't and shouldn't "count" on alimony. Even when happily married you shouldn't "count on" the spouses continued employment and good health, as anything can happen. I'm 54 and I've seen many friend's our age lose employment, and end up working for far less. Seen their industries collapse. Seen them suffer health issues that interfere with continuing the type of work schedule they had previously.

One can get an agreement, but one cannot control the other parties continued good health and continued financial success.

Frankly, after 25 years in my industry, and it's current disastrous condition, I lost my job last summer and yet I'm HAPPY to have a job, even though it's pay is considerably less. And my situation is pretty representative, as I work in a field in which I'm dealing with people and their income losses.

I don't know where the idea all of our futures should get GUARANTEED if we divorce our husband's came from.

[Gracie3787]

Originally Posted by Oxanna

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida.

Part of my mediation agreement says I can get alimony. I was married for 28 years and 30 by the time the divorce was final. The problem was my ex was not employed and dragged out not working, so as to not have to give me any alimony. We actually had a trial, whereby, I asked for alimony and the Judge denied me any. Since that time I have been forced to file bankrupty and will probably lose my residence. The Judge seemed quite impressed with my ex and his Mercedes. I now want to file a Contempt motion as there have been other issues that have not been solidified. I can't hire a lawyer, nor do I want one. If I file this on my own I am worried that the Judge will just dismiss me again as he has already done. I gave up 61% of my 401K and gave up my marital home so that I could count on alimony since I was a stay at home mom and do not have a strong earning power. Can I do this?

A mediation agreement isn't worth the paper it's written on unless the agreement has been incorporated into the final judgement and signed by a Judge.

It sounds like that did not happen, and the Judge has already denied your request for alimony. If alimony was not ordered, you cannot file for contempt regarding alimony. However, if there are other issues that were included in the final order, you can file a contempt motion on those issues if ex has not obeyed the court order.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by nextwife

Problem is, you can't and shouldn't "count" on alimony. Even when happily married you shouldn't "count on" the spouses continued employment and good health, as anything can happen. I'm 54 and I've seen many friend's our age lose employment, and end up working for far less. Seen their industries collapse. Seen them suffer health issues that interfere with continuing the type of work schedule they had previously.

One can get an agreement, but one cannot control the other parties continued good health and continued financial success.

Frankly, after 25 years in my industry, and it's current disastrous condition, I lost my job last summer and yet I'm HAPPY to have a job, even though it's pay is considerably less. And my situation is pretty representative, as I work in a field in which I'm dealing with people and their income losses.

I don't know where the idea all of our futures should get GUARANTEED if we divorce our husband's came from.

Yes, very perplexing indeed.

[IrishLady47]

Originally Posted by Oxanna

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida.

Part of my mediation agreement says I can get alimony. I was married for 28 years and 30 by the time the divorce was final. The problem was my ex was not employed and dragged out not working, so as to not have to give me any alimony. We actually had a trial, whereby, I asked for alimony and the Judge denied me any. Since that time I have been forced to file bankrupty and will probably lose my residence. The Judge seemed quite impressed with my ex and his Mercedes. I now want to file a Contempt motion as there have been other issues that have not been solidified. I can't hire a lawyer, nor do I want one. If I file this on my own I am worried that the Judge will just dismiss me again as he has already done. I gave up 61% of my 401K and gave up my marital home so that I could count on alimony since I was a stay at home mom and do not have a strong earning power. Can I do this?

If you were a SAHM, how did you have a 401k? If that was from work prior to marriage, why was it included in the marital settlement?

So you gave up interest in real assets like a 401k and a house to count on alimony? WOW! I guess you never heard this saying "a bird in hand is worth two in the bush".

This is a excellent example of why someone should not count on alimony.

Regardless, if the judge denied your request for alimony, you can only file contempt on obligations granted in the court order that your ex has not fulfilled.

[tuffbrk]

Originally Posted by Oxanna

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida.

Part of my mediation agreement says I can get alimony. I was married for 28 years and 30 by the time the divorce was final. The problem was my ex was not employed and dragged out not working, so as to not have to give me any alimony. We actually had a trial, whereby, I asked for alimony and the Judge denied me any. Since that time I have been forced to file bankrupty and will probably lose my residence. The Judge seemed quite impressed with my ex and his Mercedes. I now want to file a Contempt motion as there have been other issues that have not been solidified. I can't hire a lawyer, nor do I want one. If I file this on my own I am worried that the Judge will just dismiss me again as he has already done. I gave up 61% of my 401K and gave up my marital home so that I could count on alimony since I was a stay at home mom and do not have a strong earning power. Can I do this?

This isn't making any sense to me whatsoever. You are mentioning mediation and trial. Typically, trial will encompass whatever could not be agreed upon in mediation. So - in mediation presumably you wanted alimony, he declined to pay alimony. Then you went to trial whereby the judge did not find in your favor for alimony. As your nowEx was not working at the time, I'm not quite certain what other outcome you were expecting. Did you not receive guidance from your attorney on this matter?

If you gave up more than 50% of the 401k (you gave away more than half of your retirement?!) as well as all of your interest in the marital home, I can only assume you received a larger portion of some other assets or less than 50% of the accumulated debt.

Either you are leaving a great deal of information out of your post or you need to clarify the situation better.

[qurice]

Originally Posted by IrishLady47

If you were a SAHM, how did you have a 401k?

LOL! Exactly what I was thinking