Alimony and Adultery

My husbands ex-wife has been collecting alimony since day one. If he can prove that she was having an affair and that her boyfriend was living in their military housing while my husband was deployed, can he sue her for all the back alimony he has paid?

The answer is very easy.

But then, so is following the rules of this froum.

I'm sorry, have I broken a rule?? What rule?

Do you see the picture of the old guy above? See the text next to him on the right?

Please read this text then you tell me what you have omitted in your post.

I didn't include the state? Well, she filed for Alimony in Pennsylvania.

Well now, that's a start.

First, you have no dog in this fight. so it's really none of your business. Second, until you have a copy of the alimony order from the court there's not much anyone can tell you.

EXCEPT that adultry is not ground for overturning or changing any alimony award issued from the divorce action.

Well, I can understand why you'd think I have no "dog in this fight", but I have let my husband deal with these things on his own in the past and things have gone terribly wrong. He just...doesn't know what questions to ask and he is extremely gullable. However, this is not the reason I have decided to join this forum and ask questions that are of concern to me. My husband is currently overseas, it is my duty to take care of his affairs. I have all the court orders for alimony etc. In their divorce paper-work it states that neither party will have to pay alimony. I have already filed a petition for termination of the alimony payments. I know very little about this legal system, so I thought I would at least ask. I don't believe she should be entitled to any of alimony payments she recieved. Nor, do I feel that she should be entitled to any of his military benefits if she was unfaithful. If he had extra martial affairs during their marriage he could have been thrown in the brig and demoted. Because she is a civilian those rules dont apply to her, but military spouses that commit adultury should be punished for their actions. The circumstances surrounding my husbands divorce is very unusual and I'm just trying to make sure that he isn't furthered screwed by this legal system.

[dequeendistress]

Because she is a civilian those rules dont apply to her

During the divorce proceedings...why was it not proven that this boyfriend was in the home...

The divorce was handled in my husbands state of duty station (Hawaii). He was granted his divorce by default after unsuccessfully trying to contact his ex-wife. She had moved back to Pennsylvania with their two minor children.

But, we can definitely prove this boyfriend was living in the home. During their separation my huband spoke to this "boyfriend" of hers on many occassions. Her boyfriend left a lot of stuff in their vehicle and home (applications for employment, lover letters, etc.) The boyfriend is also willing to help if and where he can. I thought I would get some advice and opinions on the matter before hiring a lawyer. Kris has already stated that adultery can't be used, so I will now go to the lawyer with this knowledge and then see what he thinks.

I will, however, fight with the military to make sure that these things don't happen to any military soldier male or female in the future. Military couples are very different. The soldier depends, relys and trusts his/her spouse to take care of all their legal and financial affairs while they are deployed. If a military spouse commits adultery and if that spouse contributes greatly to the military sponsors financial hardships (ie: not paying the bills while the sponsor is deployed even when the funds are clearly available and accessable) they should not be entitled to any military benefits or alimony.

If he had extra martial affairs during their marriage he could have been thrown in the brig and demoted.

You have GOT to be kidding...

The UCMJ does not treat adultry as a crime anylonger. In fact, the most recent Department of Defense memorandum on the matter refers to adultry as a 'social problem' that must receive attention for the good of the service.

My husband is currently overseas, it is my duty to take care of his affairs.

As you may see it. But, as the courts see it, you're a stranger and have no legal standing. So, no matter what you think, you can't do a thing.

I have already filed a petition for termination of the alimony payments.

Congratsulations. You've just wasted your money.

I know very little about this legal system, so I thought I would at least ask.

And this, instead of your base legal affairs officer, was your FIRST stop?

The circumstances surrounding my husbands divorce is very unusual and I'm just trying to make sure that he isn't furthered screwed by this legal system.

Then, unless you have a court order granting you special rights and priviledges to act in his behalf, stop meddling. You are doing nothing but wasting time, yours and the courts.

And go see the base legal office as of yesterday.

Kris, what is your problem? I'm simply asking question that I feel DOES concern me. I could really care less if you feel I should be involved or not. And for your information I do have "specialized" papers to act on his behalf...you know the POA? All servicemen that are deployed must have a POA for their spouses. If you do not have a spouse then you must set-up a financial plan with your credit card, accounts and collecting agencies.

I have spoken to JAG on these matters, but they can only give you generalized advice. Not to mention that they do not handle cases of adultery.

As for the UCMJ, it is up to the soldiers Chain of Command to decide punishment of any UCMJ violation. If a soldier commits adultery his Chain of Command can do many things. The Chain of Command can order that the soldier have counseling, give him an Article 15 (which includes just about everything) or a Court Martial. This is information from JAG, so if you feel they are incorrect, maybe you can call and correct them.

[dequeendistress]

Burningbed, why argue the point?

How long has your husband been deployed and how long ago did this alimony question arise?

My husband has been deployed since Jan 22nd of this year. We began to question the alimony payments after our joint tax return was seized by the PA Domestic Relations office. I called and they said it was to pay his back child support and alimony. It was at that time that they told me the total of his arrears. I then realized that the arrears had gone up and not down. Well, that turns into an even longer story. As I have said before, he nor I knew anything about the "system". We are learning the hard way I guess.

I do many things before I go and actually seek out a lawyer. I do research, talk to different people and then my husband, myself and my in-laws ultimately decide what we should do.

[dequeendistress]

Child support, you say...

Well, technically no. The courts ordered him to pay exactly $765.00 total per month. $301 dollars per child, $138 dollars for alimony and $25 toward the arrears. Well, the courts ordered a garnishment of his wages, which was handled by this military office (I forget the name) thats located in Cleveland. This office stated that my husband could not afford the $765 and only allowed $660 to be garnished each month. As I have stated before, neither my husband or I know anything about the system, so we thought thats just way things go and thats that. We didn't realize that we needed to file a petition for a decrease. So, they have been charging us the full $765 all this time and that is why the arrears has gone up and not down.