Alimony again

[steven1127]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

Im in the midst of drawing up a prenup and after discussing with my fiancee about alimony I told her that if the marriage ends in divorce as outlined in our prenup we would basically split what we determined in advance is seperate property and anything joint would be split equally any debt we incurred jointly we would obviously split and any of our own debt with remain our own responsibility. We both work full time, we basically handle our own personal finances but the home bills we split evenly. By stating her job is stronger than mine I mean she makes more than I do and is financially stronger. Neither one of us carries the other. I am just concerned that in the event of a divorce does the possibility exist that I would still have to pay maintenance? I want to be as fair as possible and am just looking to protect what little I have and prevent any future arguments by having everything up front. I dont have a problem with alimony lets say the marriage lasts more than ten years but is it automatic the husband pays even if the both of us are basically equal financially?

 

[Panicked in PA]

I'm not sure how NY handles this, but when I was working on my divorce in PA there was no automatic alimony. I have my own successful career and don't need his money, so I didn't file for alimony. He did end up paying me a one lump sum of money, but that was part of division of property and not that I needed him to help support me financially.

 

[Silverplum]

I'm not sure how NY handles this, but when I was working on my divorce in PA ....

Please DON'T do this.

You, Stephen -- don't double post. Put everything about alimony in your first thread.

You, Panicked -- don't "advise" if you don't know. State laws vary widely, so what happened in one does not necessarily happen in another, and all you do is confuse the seeker.

 

[seniorjudge]

Please DON'T do this.

You, Stephen -- don't double post. Put everything about alimony in your first thread.

You, Panicked -- don't "advise" if you don't know. State laws vary widely, so what happened in one does not necessarily happen in another, and all you do is confuse the seeker.

One time I was in Europe...or was it Asia...anyway, what they do there is this guy does this stuff and then they all go drinking or something.

 

[steven1127]

alimoney

Thanks for the prompt response. I have no problem with how the joint distribution is done I am not petty like that. Thats why I would like to get things up front to prevent any problems in the future. In fact in regards to the assets we acquire together I would be extremely generous. To be honest I was concerned also about the possibility my parents leave me their house which they have stated to me would be willed /gifted to me in the even of a divorce does that get split up equally as well?

 

[seniorjudge]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

Im in the midst of drawing up a prenup and after discussing with my fiancee about alimony I told her that if the marriage ends in divorce as outlined in our prenup we would basically split what we determined in advance is seperate property and anything joint would be split equally any debt we incurred jointly we would obviously split and any of our own debt with remain our own responsibility. We both work full time, we basically handle our own personal finances but the home bills we split evenly. By stating her job is stronger than mine I mean she makes more than I do and is financially stronger. Neither one of us carries the other. I am just concerned that in the event of a divorce does the possibility exist that I would still have to pay maintenance? I want to be as fair as possible and am just looking to protect what little I have and prevent any future arguments by having everything up front. I dont have a problem with alimony lets say the marriage lasts more than ten years but is it automatic the husband pays even if the both of us are basically equal financially?

double post

Alimony

 

[steven1127]

double postings

I apologize if I am not inquiring or replying correctly.

 

[Panicked in PA]

SeniorJudge: I like your sense of humor.

Silverplum: Please relax. I don't claim to be an expert. Was just innocently sharing my story with the seeker. That's how people learn. We have lawyers in this country to advise us on the specifics....my apologies if any confusion was caused by my post.

 

[Silverplum]

I apologize if I am not inquiring or replying correctly.

Go back to your original thread.

Here:
Alimony

(remove the s)

 

[Silverplum]

SeniorJudge: I like your sense of humor.

He was commenting upon the pointlessness of your post.

Silverplum: Please relax. I don't claim to be an expert. Was just innocently sharing my story with the seeker. That's how people learn. We have lawyers in this country to advise us on the specifics....my apologies if any confusion was caused by my post.

Really?
What do you think this site IS?

It's a LEGAL site.

When you came here seeking help, did you want to hear from experienced, knowledgeable people and get valid legal info?

Or did you want to hear from whichever yahoo felt like typing gibberish?

Because we can go answer your posts any way you wish. Be sure to let us know.

But I'm going to bet that Stephen would LIKE valid legal info.

 

[Panicked in PA]

Silverplum, Ouch! The claws are out today. Hmmm, now where exactly was your expert advice on Steven's question? Oh, that's right, you were too busy insulting me to post anything productive. Nice job.

 

[Silverplum]

Silverplum, Ouch! The claws are out today. Hmmm, now where exactly was your expert advice on Steven's question? Oh, that's right, you were too busy insulting me to post anything productive. Nice job.

It's already been answered. In his FIRST thread. (Can you read and follow?)



God forbid anyone take the Law seriously enough to, ya know, answer questions from total strangers (who have dinked up their lives), for free, with accuracy.

Your flippancy and inaccuracy are unwelcome. Your future posts, if inaccurate, will be deleted without further explanation.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

Im in the midst of drawing up a prenup and after discussing with my fiancee about alimony I told her that if the marriage ends in divorce as outlined in our prenup we would basically split what we determined in advance is seperate property and anything joint would be split equally any debt we incurred jointly we would obviously split and any of our own debt with remain our own responsibility. We both work full time, we basically handle our own personal finances but the home bills we split evenly. By stating her job is stronger than mine I mean she makes more than I do and is financially stronger. Neither one of us carries the other. I am just concerned that in the event of a divorce does the possibility exist that I would still have to pay maintenance? I want to be as fair as possible and am just looking to protect what little I have and prevent any future arguments by having everything up front. I dont have a problem with alimony lets say the marriage lasts more than ten years but is it automatic the husband pays even if the both of us are basically equal financially?

That is absolutely untrue and illogical. Someone making equal or less money than the other party would NEVER have to pay alimony/maintenance/spousal support to the other party.

Marital property and debt have to be divided equally, but even that doesn't indicate that its the husband that will automatically have more of the marital assets in his possession than the wife....and will therefore be the one "paying".

There is an ex wife on this forum who is currently paying alimony to her ex husband and she also had to give him a lump sum payout from the assets in her possession.

 

[Farfalla]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York
Im in the midst of drawing up a prenup and after discussing with my fiancee about alimony I told her that if the marriage ends in divorce as outlined in our prenup we would basically split what we determined in advance is seperate property and anything joint would be split equally any debt we incurred jointly we would obviously split and any of our own debt with remain our own responsibility. We both work full time, we basically handle our own personal finances but the home bills we split evenly. By stating her job is stronger than mine I mean she makes more than I do and is financially stronger. Neither one of us carries the other. I am just concerned that in the event of a divorce does the possibility exist that I would still have to pay maintenance? I want to be as fair as possible and am just looking to protect what little I have and prevent any future arguments by having everything up front. I dont have a problem with alimony lets say the marriage lasts more than ten years but is it automatic the husband pays even if the both of us are basically equal financially?

Have you read the New York laws that apply to marriage and divorce? That’s where you need to start. Most people do not do this before they get married. When you get married you will be signing a contract that is defined by your state. Would you sign any other contract with reading it? Some of your questions will be cleared up by such a reading.
Are you trying to do a prenuptial without an attorney? If you do, it will most likely have so many holes in it, it will not hold up to a divorce court.

As others have said, there is no longer a presupposition that the husband will automatically pay alimony or that anyone will get it. Usually it’s based on the length of marriage and the need of a spouse to get back on their feet. When ordered, it is now for a period of time, not life. If no one here has an answer to these specifics, you might want a brief consultation with an attorney. Or you can put some language in your prenuptial stating that neither of you will get alimony or spousal support of any kind from the other.

One warning here… the situation that exists when you marry may not always exist. One of you could become disabled, lose their job and not find another for a very long time. You both might agree that one of you will stay home with to raise children … say you eventually have a very disabled child who needs fulltime care. Life is full of the unexpected. Say you are the one who has lost his ability to earn what you earn now and needs some assistance to get back on your feet. With what you want to put in your prenuptial, well you can go live on the streets. Despite your making sacrifices for the good of your family you would have no rights.

we would basically split what we determined in advance is separate property

Your working here it confusing. Did you really mean that your would split separate property.. each of you giving the other half of your own separate property?

Or do you mean that you would each keep your own separate property with the other having no claim to it? Why would you bother putting that in your prenuptial? It’s already in the marriage contract you will be signing when you marry.

and anything joint would be split equally any debt we incurred jointly we would obviously split and any of our own debt with remain our own responsibility.

Again why would you put this in your prenuptial since it’s already in the marriage contract you will be signing when you get married?

One thing that might be helpful is to list the items that each of you hold as seperate property.

When my husband and I got married we signed an agreement that the house I own is my separate property and that he cannot make claim on it even if marital assets are used in making the monthly payments on it. It was drawn up by the lawyer who did the title work for me.

 

[Farfalla]

Thanks for the prompt response. I have no problem with how the joint distribution is done I am not petty like that. That’s why I would like to get things up front to prevent any problems in the future. In fact in regards to the assets we acquire together I would be extremely generous.

Again, read what the marriage and divorce laws in New York say about equitable distribution of marital assets. It will help you out. IF you agree with what the law says, not need to re-invent it in your prenuptial.

To be honest I was concerned also about the possibility my parents leave me their house which they have stated to me would be willed /gifted to me in the even of a divorce does that get split up equally as well?

Inheretance is separate property. Your wife will have no claim to it…

Except… if marital assets are used to pay the mortgage after you inherit it, in this case she could get 50% of the equity that accrued after the date of inheritance. If you used separate property (say you have a separate savings account) to pay the mortgage, than she’d have no claim to the new equity. If you sell the house and no marital property was used to maintain it... than the proceeds are separate property... you'd need to put them in a separate account to keep them separate. Do your parents own the home free and clear? Or do they have an insurance that will pay it off when they pass away? That would make it easiest for you to keep it separate property.

If you want to see how complicated this all gets read this….
What is separate property. New York Divorce and Family Law, the definitive site about divorce, child support and custody.

and this

Getting Married and Keeping Separate Property