Alimony and Child Support Question

[HunnyBunBun]

Hello, My situation is pretty complex. Thank you in advance for all your help.

I'm very wealthy. I live in South Carolina. I'm engaged to be married to man who lives in North Carolina. He has an ex wife and two children who live in North Carolina as well. We will be living in North Carolina once we marry.

He will be quitting his job once we get married. We will live off the money I have saved and invested. He will not be returning to the work force.

He is required to pay alimony to his ex wife for another 6 years. He also has child support on one child for another 3 years and on the other 8 years. We are planning to continue as is on the alimony and child support, just continue to pay it from my moneys.

When they got divorced they didn't use lawyers and they created a separation agreement together. It has left a lot of things very open ended. It says in there that once a year she can come to him and ask for more child support and if they mutually agree then she gets it.

My questions are that now that he's quitting his job and we are together that she can come to us and try to get much, much more money just because now his net worth is so much greater. Can she do this?

Another question is there anyway we can go back and amend the orginial seperation agreement to put a 'cap' on the amount she will ever receive from us?

Or can we just take her to court and let a judge/jury figure this one out for us? Is that possible? What are my options, to protect me, him and keep her from just trying to rake in more money?

Thank you so much,
Bunny

[stealth2]

I hate to say it, but "we" can do nothing. This is between him and his ex. You would be wise to keep all of your monies in your name only w/no joint accounts or property and possibly consult an attorney about a pre-nup (which you should do ANYWAY!). He would be wise to consult an attorney at this point to see what he can do to put a cap on alimony. It's unlikely that he can do anything about child support. She is free to petition the courts to order support at any time. Guidelines will be applied to whatever his latest income is - quitting work won't change that as it's a voluntary unemployment. So what he's making when he quits - is what support would be based on.

[nextwife]

PRENUP!!!!!!!! Establish by prenup that your money is just that, YOUR money. You will be voluntarilly paying his CS and alimony, but she cannot use your premarital assets ro determine future alimony. The obligation will be per CO, and he will still be obligated to pay for the duration of the order, but your income from your premarital assets would not be something he would legally have any right to. He would still be legallu obligated to pay, but it is up to you and he how he accomplishes that.

Talk to an attorney.

[rmet4nzkx]

I have answered your questions on the other two threads before I saw this one and my advice remains essentially the same. Like the other 2 posters have said, get a prenup! Marrying a man with significant legal and financial obligations, who intends on quitting his job and sponging off you is FOLLY! See how his attitude changes once you mention, attorney and/or prenup! What has your daughter's father/his family said re all of this? Is this money yours because you earned it or your because you were a benificiary of some sort? You may have to answer to others also in this folly.

[HunnyBunBun]

He doesn't owe any back money! He's a great guy. He's got a great job and makes good money himself. But I want him to quit and stay home with me. He has no financial problems.

My only issue is that now that we are living off my inheritance and investments that his wife will have some way to get a child support increase.

Is a prenup the only option?

[rmet4nzkx]

Originally Posted by HunnyBunBun

He's not a sponge!!!
He doesn't owe any back money! He's a great guy. He's got a great job and makes good money himself. But I want him to quit and stay home with me. He has no financial problems.

My only issue is that now that we are living off my inheritance and investments that his wife will have some way to get a child support increase.

Is a prenup the only option?

You said in,
[url]http://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=255338[/url]

Originally Posted by HunnyBunBun

If I'm very wealthy and choose not to marry my fiance but just live with him, is his ex wife who he owes child support and alimony to able to get more money from him than he's currently giving her just because I'm living there with him and we are together? We will be living in North Carolina.

Please quote this gives the appearance when you say he OWES that it is arrears payments especially since you are intentionally looking for way for him to avoid making or raising payments by not marrying and not comingling money. Mom is still able to petition the court for modification based upon changes in his income or circumstances. Then when you go on to say he want's to quit his job makes it even more suspitious. You may think this is your idea and he may meet some of your needs, but to an outsider it gives a very different appearance. If your money is all that holds him in a relationship, what kind of a relationship is that? Do you really want to be married to a man who is dependent on you? What about after you two run through your money, what will he do?
If you are wealthy, you defanitely need to consult your attorney and get a prenup. If he is an honest man at this time, he will not only agree to this but welcome the opportunity to prove his sincerity. If anything, if he is an honest man, he should pay for his financial obligations to his family based on his own honest labor.
You didn't answer the question, what does your daughter's father/family say about this situation?

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by HunnyBunBun

Hello, My situation is pretty complex. Thank you in advance for all your help.

I'm very wealthy. I live in South Carolina. I'm engaged to be married to man who lives in North Carolina. He has an ex wife and two children who live in North Carolina as well. We will be living in North Carolina once we marry.

He will be quitting his job once we get married. We will live off the money I have saved and invested. He will not be returning to the work force.

He is required to pay alimony to his ex wife for another 6 years. He also has child support on one child for another 3 years and on the other 8 years. We are planning to continue as is on the alimony and child support, just continue to pay it from my moneys.

When they got divorced they didn't use lawyers and they created a separation agreement together. It has left a lot of things very open ended. It says in there that once a year she can come to him and ask for more child support and if they mutually agree then she gets it.

My questions are that now that he's quitting his job and we are together that she can come to us and try to get much, much more money just because now his net worth is so much greater. Can she do this?

Another question is there anyway we can go back and amend the orginial seperation agreement to put a 'cap' on the amount she will ever receive from us?

Or can we just take her to court and let a judge/jury figure this one out for us? Is that possible? What are my options, to protect me, him and keep her from just trying to rake in more money?

Thank you so much,
Bunny

If you are correct that he owes no back support...but only current and future child support and alimony....then as long as you do not co-mingle your assets with his...and his support payments are made on time, you should not have any problems.

However, you should be aware that child support amounts are never permanent. Even without the separation agreement that they have in place his ex-wife would be legally entitled to take him back to court, as much as yearly, to attempt to increase child support.

Since he will be voluntarily unemployed, a judge could order increases based on what he could have been earning had he remained in the workforce.

I also agree strongly with the others that you really should have a prenuptual agreement. I understand that you want him to stay home with you and that is your reason for him discontinuing working**************however, you need to realize that this will interrupt his career...therefore if the two of you should break up in the future, that would give him definite claims against your assets. Therefore you honestly need that prenup.

[HunnyBunBun]

In my first post I noted that when he and the first wife divorced they created a seperation agreement without the advice of lawyers and courts and until this point made all decisions between them only.

First, he agreed upfront to pay more than the state would mandate to make sure his two kids are properly taken care of. He pays 500/week for alimony and 533/week in child support. Which for even his salary is WAY above the state mandated guidelines. I did say that once a year the ex can come back and ask for more (cost of living, one child has medical problems, etc.) and if they MUTUALLY agree she gets it.

The ex wife is concerned with him leaving his job there will be no support for her or her kids incase me and him break up. So, with this in mind we went to her with a lump sum offer of all the childsupport with a 2% increase each year to provide for the cost of living going up. That way she has all the money upfront on childsupport. I told her it would be foolish for me to lumpsum her alimony considering she could turn around any marry her boyfriend of a year. I'm not going to pay her alimony upfront for her to do something like that. I told her we would continue to pay 500/week with no increases. (They agreed prior to seperating that there would be no alimony increase.)

She turns around and says NO WAY. She was in no way, shape, or form getting shorted anything in this deal. We were trying to accomodate her feelings for security.

She says the only way she'll agree to a 'cap' on child support is by doing a lump sum. I personally think she is money hungry and trying to get a full lumpsum (child support and alimony) for some unknown reason. Otherwise she would of taken our wonderful, and more than suffient offer.

Anyway, this leaves me with all the trouble. I need a cap on the child support to marry him so she can't come after my money. I don't want a prenup. I'm guessing now thats the only option. We then talked about just living together until this all got worked out. But at that point with us cobahitaing, is she able to get my money that way.

I don't want to screw her out of any money, I'm trying to help. I can't get into to see my lawyers for another week and its driving me crazy! I just need some more advice on what to do about or what way I should go about capping this child support.

Another question is how is cohabitation defined in NC? What proves it?

And to answer the question about my daughter and her biological father, well he's no where in the picture and neither is his family. He signed her away by taking his name off her birth certificate.

Thank you.

[stealth2]

Originally Posted by HunnyBunBun

I can't get into to see my lawyers for another week and its driving me crazy!

Well, it's not like you're getting married tomorrow, right? Get it sorted out properly through legal channels.

(and even if he "prepaid" CS - she could still come after him for more)

[JUSTICE4none1]

its simple EITHER GET A PRE NUP or prepare for welfare, no am not saying your boy toy is after your money,... just saying you can do without him for 8 hours a day while he goes off to work and takes care of his obligation to his children. It could be ANY job even taco bell but at least the children are then getting the support. Its not your job to pay it for him nor assist him. I think you need to keep you and your money out of it completely and try like heck to not set yourself up to be ripped off

[rmet4nzkx]

Why are you arfaid to wait to talk to your attorneys? Are you afraid that they will try to talk you out of this? You have a lot at stake and everyone doing this themselves instead of doing it legally will bite you in the rear end eventually. You just can't cover all the contingiencies nor have you covered them all at this point.

The 2% COL with a lump sum might seem fair to you right now but what if he were to continue working and putting his heart into it, his income might double or tripple in the next few years as would his obligations, of course YOU don't want to put out that kind of money, it's not your obligation. The fact that one child has medical problems could greatly change the whole picture overnight.

Your whole situation is too complex to unravel here, you need to have patience and consult your attornys. It is very possible as another poster said that if you don't stay together, that you might end up owing him support married or not. That is another reason for him remaining gainfully employed that also protects you assets in several ways. Your child's father's name on the birth certificate or absense thereof doesn't determine paternity, so you need to be sure to have that issue resolved legally as well.

As to your question on cohabitation, a criminal anti-cohabitation statute in North Carolina is being enforced in situations similar to yours, so expect that if you plan to cohabit that his ex will swiftly take action against you both civilly and criminally. The same exists with your daughter's father. Laws against cohabitation are still in place in Florida, Michigan, Mississippi, North Carolina, North Dakota, Virginia and West Virginia. Arizona and New Mexico decriminalized cohabitation in 2001, but you can still marry a 1st cousin there.
[url]http://www.unmarriedamerica.org/News-About-Us/Anti-cohabitation.htm[/url]

[HunnyBunBun]

No need for a prenup, lawyers, etc any longer. Ater all this drama, we sorta had a big fight today! Gosh! Thanks for all the legal advice and especially that link in the last post.

Considering his ex turned her thoughts around real fast I'm thinking she was going to try and get us in trouble for doing nothing but being nice to her...

Can or do the really press charges if a man lives with a woman and they are not married?!?

[stealth2]

LOL He didn't like the prenup idea?

And yes - if the law's on the books, it can be enforced.

[HunnyBunBun]

We've decided to work this out and make the best of the situation. He's going to stay at work and continue to pay his childsupport and alimony. And since you cannot cohabitate in NC, I will not be moving in.

But, here's the question- What if I buy the house that is very conviently for sale a few houses down and move in? We are not cohabitating since I have a seperate residence, can his ex wife still get anythign from me then?

Another question...I own a home in California, that I've lived in 5 of the last 7 years. I still use that residence as my primary residence for filing taxes, etc. I still have a california Drivers liscense and car tags. I visit there very often, even though I've been staying out here in South Carolina (to visit and help my mom). If I move in with him, and we are living together, and I can prove that my primary residence is in California, then could it still be considered cohabitation?

Thanks again for all the wonderful help!!!

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by HunnyBunBun

We've decided to work this out and make the best of the situation. He's going to stay at work and continue to pay his childsupport and alimony. And since you cannot cohabitate in NC, I will not be moving in.

But, here's the question- What if I buy the house that is very conviently for sale a few houses down and move in? We are not cohabitating since I have a seperate residence, can his ex wife still get anythign from me then?

Another question...I own a home in California, that I've lived in 5 of the last 7 years. I still use that residence as my primary residence for filing taxes, etc. I still have a california Drivers liscense and car tags. I visit there very often, even though I've been staying out here in South Carolina (to visit and help my mom). If I move in with him, and we are living together, and I can prove that my primary residence is in California, then could it still be considered cohabitation?

Thanks again for all the wonderful help!!!

I think that you are getting a little to "literal" on the co-habitation issue. I bet there are a ton of divorced people co-habitating in NC. However, you certainly could buy a house on his street and avoid any issues of co-habitating.