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07-06-2006, 11:35 AM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 8
| | | Alimony hell
What is the name of your state? NC
My husband was married for 3 years and they lived in Fl. where their divorce is filed. The ex had an attorney friend draw up agreement papers which he signed because she threatened not to actually give him the divorce if he did not agree to her terms. The agreement basically left him with all of the marital debt plus having to pay her 1000.00 per month. When I met him, he had been divorced for 1 1/2 years and we are now married with a baby due in August. She continues to call and expect him to fork out more and more money, which we do not have. I became aware of the situation when I started getting calls from creditors about diliquent accounts. He has paid her well over 30,000.00 over the past 2 1/2 almost 3 years and we feel that this needs to come to an end. She did not work and contribute to anything during their marriage except running up the credit card bills. She since has earned her PhD. in psychology and is teaching at a university in New York. We would like to know where to start with the process of modifing the agreement due to change in income and educational status. My husband makes less than he did before and we are on the verge of having to file bankrupcy because of this situation. She continues to call and harrass and threaten my husband about paying her more money. I just need some advice about where we should start with the process...we have not paid her for the months of June and July and do not plan on paying her until something is done about the situation. I think it is crazy that he ever had to pay her any alimony due to the fact that they had a short term marriage. Does anyone have any advice? She's threatened to sue him for being in default of their agreement, but she will not get anything, we don't have anything for her to take. ( I should also add that we also have a 4 year old daughter that I had before I met him. I am concerned about my family's future.) |
07-06-2006, 11:52 AM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Ohio
Posts: 31,761
| | | Your husband NEVER should have signed the agreement. That was his first mistake. His second mistake is not paying because that puts him in contempt and HE WILL STLL OWE THE MONEY! He needs to file for a modification in the state where the judgment was. |
07-06-2006, 12:04 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 14,766
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Originally Posted by kncfes ( I should also add that we also have a 4 year old daughter that I had before I met him. I am concerned about my family's future.) | Legally, your kid by a previous relationship has nothing to do with his case w/his X. Legally, your new kid together has nothing to do with his case w/his X. The time to be concerned about the future was BEFORE you hooked up with this guy.
According to one website I just checked, recent changes in FL law provide for possible alimony modification "when the former spouse is living with a person as if they were married."
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"Judges want people to be reasonable. Where one parent won't be reasonable, judges still want the other parent to remain reasonable." (Ford)
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07-06-2006, 12:17 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 8
| | | Do we need a lawyer to file a modification request? I am very aware that the children have nothing to do with that situation, but they are a concern for us. The settlement was not court ordered. |
07-06-2006, 12:19 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 14,766
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Originally Posted by kncfes Do we need a lawyer to file a modification request? I am very aware that the children have nothing to do with that situation, but they are a concern for us. The settlement was not court ordered. | What on earth are you talking about? Is it signed by a judge? Is it part of his divorce decree??
And if you are aware that the kids have nothing to do with it, then don't add them to the list of your problems.
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"Judges want people to be reasonable. Where one parent won't be reasonable, judges still want the other parent to remain reasonable." (Ford)
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07-06-2006, 01:49 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 8
| | | I appreciate your advice, but do not see the need to be so rude in your responses. I really do not know a lot about any legal processes and would appreciate a little courtesy. Thank you for your input. |
07-06-2006, 01:50 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: South Cackalacky
Posts: 15,040
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Originally Posted by kncfes I appreciate your advice, but do not see the need to be so rude in your responses. I really do not know a lot about any legal processes and would appreciate a little courtesy. Thank you for your input. | You didn't answer the question presented to you. |
07-06-2006, 01:51 PM
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Posts: 14,766
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Originally Posted by kncfes I appreciate your advice, but do not see the need to be so rude in your responses. I really do not know a lot about any legal processes and would appreciate a little courtesy. Thank you for your input. | Okay, then there you go. See ya.
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"Judges want people to be reasonable. Where one parent won't be reasonable, judges still want the other parent to remain reasonable." (Ford)
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07-06-2006, 02:15 PM
| | Member | | Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 160
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Originally Posted by kncfes Do we need a lawyer to file a modification request? I am very aware that the children have nothing to do with that situation, but they are a concern for us. The settlement was not court ordered. | If this agreement was not incorporated into the judgment of divorce, would there be anything to modify? Was this referred to as spousal support and if so, how long is it to be paid? If in fact it is considered alimony, is your spouse aware that the amount is considered as taxable to the payee and deductible to the payor? |
07-06-2006, 02:39 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 8
| | | My husband said that they never saw a judge, that her lawyer friend took the signed papers and filed them...whether a judge had to sign, I have no idea. I do not know how it is worded or if it is part of the decree...I have never been divorced before and do not know all the terminology that goes with it. My husband was unaware that he could deduct the payments on his taxes...can he go back and amend his? |
07-06-2006, 02:51 PM
| | Member | | Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 160
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Originally Posted by kncfes My husband said that they never saw a judge, that her lawyer friend took the signed papers and filed them...whether a judge had to sign, I have no idea. I do not know how it is worded or if it is part of the decree...I have never been divorced before and do not know all the terminology that goes with it. My husband was unaware that he could deduct the payments on his taxes...can he go back and amend his? | Tax returns can most certainly be amended to include the amount paid. The SS# of the recipient will be required. Have these payments been made direct or through the Friend of the Court? |
07-06-2006, 03:18 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 8
| | | They have been sent directly to her from him. He has always paid her with a personal check so he definately has record of it. |
07-06-2006, 03:38 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 41,327
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Originally Posted by kncfes My husband said that they never saw a judge, that her lawyer friend took the signed papers and filed them...whether a judge had to sign, I have no idea. I do not know how it is worded or if it is part of the decree...I have never been divorced before and do not know all the terminology that goes with it. My husband was unaware that he could deduct the payments on his taxes...can he go back and amend his? | He can amend 2003, 2004 and 2005. Any year prior to that cannot be amended. However, only if its spousal support or alimony. Child support cannot be deducted. |
07-06-2006, 04:00 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 4,258
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Originally Posted by kncfes but they are a concern for us. | There are 2 adults in every marriage, you can both have full time jobs and the "concern" for all the kids that are being created would cease to exist. |
07-06-2006, 04:12 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 8
| | | For the last response, what exactly does that mean...both my husband and I do work full time. Not sure where you were going with that response. Please elaborate... | |
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