Alimony modification / interrogitories

[pearldrop]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Georgia

Seeking to end alimony on basis that ex is living with her first husband. She went to lengths to hide the fact and in fact has been living with him since before the divorce was even granted in another state for almost 2 years while covering it to garner alimony to fund their life together. It has only come to light now of this and we have plenty of evidence to support it.

She was given a set of interrogatories that has all the typical financial questions but also many pointed personal questions, that if answered truthfully will be embarrassing and basically point her out as a liar and cheater to her kids, however it is very relevant to the case. Based on her avoidance to comply with discovery during divorce, at which time I was in the dark and had no reason to spend the extra money to press.. or so I thought, I know she will do everything she can to not answer the personal questions in the interrogatories that would shed light on her manipulations to her kids.. can she refuse to answer, and if so what would happen.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Georgia

Seeking to end alimony on basis that ex is living with her first husband. She went to lengths to hide the fact and in fact has been living with him since before the divorce was even granted in another state for almost 2 years while covering it to garner alimony to fund their life together. It has only come to light now of this and we have plenty of evidence to support it.

She was given a set of interrogatories that has all the typical financial questions but also many pointed personal questions, that if answered truthfully will be embarrassing and basically point her out as a liar and cheater to her kids, however it is very relevant to the case. Based on her avoidance to comply with discovery during divorce, at which time I was in the dark and had no reason to spend the extra money to press.. or so I thought, I know she will do everything she can to not answer the personal questions in the interrogatories that would shed light on her manipulations to her kids.. can she refuse to answer, and if so what would happen.

Yes she can refuse to answer. She can also object. And then the party (for some reason I do not believe that is you) will have to show why the questions are relevant. And how would her children find out about the answers? Why would her children find out she is a liar and a cheater? Because dad would make sure of it? Who is "we" that has plenty of evidence to support it? What does the order state regarding when alimony ends?

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Georgia

Seeking to end alimony on basis that ex is living with her first husband. She went to lengths to hide the fact and in fact has been living with him since before the divorce was even granted in another state for almost 2 years while covering it to garner alimony to fund their life together. It has only come to light now of this and we have plenty of evidence to support it.

She was given a set of interrogatories that has all the typical financial questions but also many pointed personal questions, that if answered truthfully will be embarrassing and basically point her out as a liar and cheater to her kids, however it is very relevant to the case. Based on her avoidance to comply with discovery during divorce, at which time I was in the dark and had no reason to spend the extra money to press.. or so I thought, I know she will do everything she can to not answer the personal questions in the interrogatories that would shed light on her manipulations to her kids.. can she refuse to answer, and if so what would happen.

I think we can safely say that once Mom gets wind of this plan, her man-friend will suddenly disappear and I would expect him to have a completely different "home" address.

And in regards to her kids? You don't care about the kids. You may think - or hope - that they'll suddenly hate her. Reality? You're the one who's going to look like the bitter, vindictive ex.

That's not even going into what her attorney will do to you...er...the actual party once he's on the stand.

Are you..er...him...willing to pony up for Mom's legal fees on top of still paying the alimony?

 

[pearldrop]

I think we can safely say that once Mom gets wind of this plan, her man-friend will suddenly disappear and I would expect him to have a completely different "home" address.

And in regards to her kids? You don't care about the kids. You may think - or hope - that they'll suddenly hate her. Reality? You're the one who's going to look like the bitter, vindictive ex.

That's not even going into what her attorney will do to you...er...the actual party once he's on the stand.

Are you..er...him...willing to pony up for Mom's legal fees on top of still paying the alimony?

Yes, we are willing to pay the fees if we are wrong about this.. but we are NOT wrong, and we know this because the kids have confirmed it .. the kids are not Kids.. they are in their 30's... but the kids are under the impression that dad is a scoundrel for leaving mom and mom does no wrong and she has led them to believe that she has just recently rekindled this first marriage.. our investigation supports it has been going on for years.. this is why she is not going to want them to find out. We do not have any reason to want the kids to hate the mom.. we just do not believe that we should be paying her thousands of dollars a month when she is living in a meretricious relationship with her first husband and has been since 8 months before the divorce.. she lives in another state from both kids and they always meet at the grandmothers or the kids, so it has been very easy for her to hide the truth about her circumstances. .. Georgia's live in lover law states that cohabitation is grounds to modify if not completely terminate alimony, she did NOT deny the allegations of living with him, in fact she can not, we have too much and it was presented in that.. what she is now doing is suing for what she believes was not paid in full to her off of his bonus checks in retaliation. (Seriously?.. she shouldn't have been getting it to begin with.. it is apparent now she was having an affair with the first husband before he asked for the divorce.. which had it been revealed then, alimony wouldn't have been given.. and had we known she was moving out with him back during separation, the whole alimony thing would have gone different as well regardless of the affair part) She was in contempt of court to begin with for never sharing her physical address as stated in divorce decree so that he could send the alimony... she demanded it be given in a way that no address was needed. she refused to give him her address, told the kids to never give him or anyone he knew her address... now we know why.. had we known before, it would have been obvious what was going on, and he would have never agreed to the terms of the alimony and she knows it.. and intentionally hid it from him and the court during mediation so that it would come out in her favor.

She has been ordered to be at the hearing in february... true to form she is trying to get out of it. I'm quit certain she will try to answer nothing in the interrogatories under the guise that the questions are insulting and beneath her... so.. all ranting aside.. the question is.. how tolerant are the courts of this sort of thing? Does she get to just not answer b/c she doesn't like the questions. .. The questions asked will confirm the investigating we've done.. we are certain.

 

[Proserpina]

Ah. You're the latest wife.

Well, truthfully, it depends. Your husband may find himself no longer paying. Or, your husband may find himself still paying.

He needs to actually pull out his divorce decree and read the verbiage. It's entirely possible that the decree cannot be modified by the court.

Georgia actually states that in virtually all cases, marriage terminates the obligation. Georgia does not state that cohabitation automatically ends the obligation - and much as it burns your husband, he best hope that the court sympathizes with him.

Mom can refuse to answer questions, and again, I would not be surprised if her attorney (and oh, she'll get one if she realizes her money might stop) objects to just about anything s/he feels is irrelevant.

He also needs to understand that the burden of proof is on him, not his ex-wife. If he cannot provide evidence (and that's often a lot more difficult than people realize - even those who do a quick Google before asking the question), Mom walks out of court with no change.

 

[pearldrop]

It is our understanding that our attorney has never lost a case like this and he has never had as much proof as we have going into one either. The questions I think she will have to wiggle out of will be questions she never thought she'd be having to answer. All they are is basically admitting to what we have proof of to seal the deal. .. Perhaps we WANT her to not answer those?.. perhaps if a judge looks at the evidence and then sees that what she is saying she shouldn't answer will be more of an admission than if she just came right out and answered and look horrible for her?.. let's face it.. if she has nothing to hide, the questions about her relationship with her ex ... she would want to answer to clear herself.

 

[stealth2]

Note: WE are not paying alimony. WE do not have a lawyer. WE do not have a case. WE have no dog in this case.

Please ask MR. pearldrop to pop in - HE is the only one paying, retaining a lawyer, or potentially having a case.

Thank you and enjoy the rest of your day!

 

[pearldrop]

Note: WE are not paying alimony. WE do not have a lawyer. WE do not have a case. WE have no dog in this case.

Please ask MR. pearldrop to pop in - HE is the only one paying, retaining a lawyer, or potentially having a case.

Thank you and enjoy the rest of your day!

With all due respect, I am paying the attorney, my money is being called into question, this is our lawsuit, and I DO have a dog in this case in that It is MY salary that is now covering that alimony that she lied and manipulated to receive since he has gone jobless... We are seeking proper channels to remedy this. he has asked me to ask the questions so that we are prepared mentally for what is coming. I don't see why it matters who is typing the question. I was under the impression this forum was for free advice about situations pertaining to how the law works.. Sorry if I was incorrect. We do have council and hopefully he will be able to answer the questions, however we don't have another appointment until the end of the week, this is very stressful and we are just seeking some advice on what to expect. I and he are very appreciative of anyone that can help us understand the laws, and what weight the interrogatories actually hold. Thank you.

 

[Ohiogal]

It is our understanding that our attorney has never lost a case like this and he has never had as much proof as we have going into one either. The questions I think she will have to wiggle out of will be questions she never thought she'd be having to answer. All they are is basically admitting to what we have proof of to seal the deal. .. Perhaps we WANT her to not answer those?.. perhaps if a judge looks at the evidence and then sees that what she is saying she shouldn't answer will be more of an admission than if she just came right out and answered and look horrible for her?.. let's face it.. if she has nothing to hide, the questions about her relationship with her ex ... she would want to answer to clear herself.

Yet you apparently have something to hide because you post as though you want us to believe that you are the party and you haven't confirmed that you are the wife. If you had nothing to hide, you would admit to being the new lover of the man paying spousal support. See how horrible it looks for you that you are butting in legally where you have NO business? You are not paying alimony. YOU are not the one with a case. You are not the one with a legal issue. Your husband/lover may be. So what is it you have to hide? I would think you would want to answer to clear yourself. You are the new girlfriend/wife? You were involved with your husband/lover before the divorce was finalized? Correct? Come on now, answer and clear yourself. If you have nothing to hide, that is.

 

[Ohiogal]

With all due respect, I am paying the attorney, my money is being called into question, this is our lawsuit,

Wrong. Just because you are paying the attorney means nothing. I had a client's girlfriend tell me I answered to her because she gave the money. I told her exactly where she could shove her money. You need the same. YOU are NOT the client. You are NOT a party to this. YOU are NOTHING legally.

and I DO have a dog in this case in that It is MY salary that is now covering that alimony that she lied and manipulated to receive since he has gone jobless...

Then maybe HE needs to get off his butt and get a job. Even if it is McDonald's.

We are seeking proper channels to remedy this.

He can attempt to court IF alimony is able to be modified. But then again you never answered what HIS court order stated.

he has asked me to ask the questions so that we are prepared mentally for what is coming.

Mentally, prepare yourself to sit in the hall not the courtroom. Prepare yourself to realize that your place is NOT in the middle of HIS legal issue.

I don't see why it matters who is typing the question. I was under the impression this forum was for free advice about situations pertaining to how the law works..

How the law works -- you are a legal stranger. You are not a party to this.

Sorry if I was incorrect.

You are.

We do have council and hopefully he will be able to answer the questions, however we don't have another appointment until the end of the week, this is very stressful and we are just seeking some advice on what to expect.

You are not the client. You do not have counsel (please note the spelling). You are not the one involved. The attorney may tolerate you but don't expect the attorney to answer to you.

I and he are very appreciative of anyone that can help us understand the laws, and what weight the interrogatories actually hold. Thank you.

Can't tell you. Because it depends on what was asked and what his attorney decides to do with the information.

 

[pearldrop]

Yet you apparently have something to hide because you post as though you want us to believe that you are the party and you haven't confirmed that you are the wife. If you had nothing to hide, you would admit to being the new lover of the man paying spousal support. See how horrible it looks for you that you are butting in legally where you have NO business? You are not paying alimony. YOU are not the one with a case. You are not the one with a legal issue. Your husband/lover may be. So what is it you have to hide? I would think you would want to answer to clear yourself. You are the new girlfriend/wife? You were involved with your husband/lover before the divorce was finalized? Correct? Come on now, answer and clear yourself. If you have nothing to hide, that is.

Wow.. why so much hostility over asking a question about the law?.. I have nothing to hide.. I am his wife, I am paying the attorney, I am also in essence paying the alimony as he has no job at the moment and until we can get the alimony modified legally because of his change in finances.. we have to pay it.. which means "I" am paying it as "I" am the one working and I do not want him to have to default and be held in contempt. I also came on board AFTER the divorce and they have countersued asking to see all money he has tied up jointly with me.. so I most certainly DO have a dog in the fight and since MY NAME is in the court papers, this IS my case too.. but all those details are completely irrelevant to the question I came to ask., .. I am here to simply ask for my husband AND MYSELF.. not hiding anything here.. as it directly affects MY life and bank account, what the boundaries of the laws are in terms of does someone have to answer interrogatories.. apparently no.. so what is the point of them? .. I suppose if the answer to that is no, then a motion to compel?.. is that the term, and at that point she will have to answer.. or we have her deposed.. all I am wanting to know is what does it mean.. I can not believe how out of context this has gotten and how I am somehow being put in trial here.. even if I were some lover with no skin in the game hiding something... it is irrelevant to the question asked. I'm puzzled by the hostility. we are just wanting to understand the law. never mind.. thank you in kind to those of you who did try to help.

 

[Ohiogal]

Wow.. why so much hostility over asking a question about the law?.. I have nothing to hide.. I am his wife, I am paying the attorney, I am also in essence paying the alimony as he has no job at the moment and until we can get the alimony modified legally because of his change in finances.. we have to pay it.. which means "I" am paying it as "I" am the one working and I do not want him to have to default and be held in contempt. I also came on board AFTER the divorce and they have countersued asking to see all money he has tied up jointly with me.. so I most certainly DO have a dog in the fight and since MY NAME is in the court papers, this IS my case too.. but all those details are completely irrelevant to the question I came to ask., .. I am here to simply ask for my husband AND MYSELF.. not hiding anything here.. as it directly affects MY life and bank account, what the boundaries of the laws are in terms of does someone have to answer interrogatories.. apparently no.. so what is the point of them? .. I suppose if the answer to that is no, then a motion to compel?.. is that the term, and at that point she will have to answer.. or we have her deposed.. all I am wanting to know is what does it mean.. I can not believe how out of context this has gotten and how I am somehow being put in trial here.. even if I were some lover with no skin in the game hiding something... it is irrelevant to the question asked. I'm puzzled by the hostility. we are just wanting to understand the law. never mind.. thank you in kind to those of you who did try to help.

You are listed as a party? I highly doubt that.
You may be named in the answer but you are NOT a party. Different strokes.
You don't have to pay it. You can let your husband take care of his financial issues. You have CHOSEN not to do so. That is a CHOICE you made. Doesn't give you a dog in the fight.
You paying the attorney means nothing. You are NOT the client. If you think you are, go ask the attorney.
THis is NOT your case. You are involved only because you are married to him and sharing funds. If you divorce him tomorrow, you are no longer involved in his alimony case provided you still don't share funds. It affects your life but that doesn't make you a party. You seem to fail to comprehend that. You were hiding -- if not, you would have stated in the first post, "My husband is trying to get his alimony modified." You didn't. You totally hid that.

 

[Proserpina]

Wow.. why so much hostility over asking a question about the law?.. I have nothing to hide.. I am his wife, I am paying the attorney, I am also in essence paying the alimony as he has no job at the moment and until we can get the alimony modified legally because of his change in finances.. we have to pay it.. which means "I" am paying it as "I" am the one working and I do not want him to have to default and be held in contempt. I also came on board AFTER the divorce and they have countersued asking to see all money he has tied up jointly with me.. so I most certainly DO have a dog in the fight and since MY NAME is in the court papers, this IS my case too.. but all those details are completely irrelevant to the question I came to ask., .. I am here to simply ask for my husband AND MYSELF.. not hiding anything here.. as it directly affects MY life and bank account, what the boundaries of the laws are in terms of does someone have to answer interrogatories.. apparently no.. so what is the point of them? .. I suppose if the answer to that is no, then a motion to compel?.. is that the term, and at that point she will have to answer.. or we have her deposed.. all I am wanting to know is what does it mean.. I can not believe how out of context this has gotten and how I am somehow being put in trial here.. even if I were some lover with no skin in the game hiding something... it is irrelevant to the question asked. I'm puzzled by the hostility. we are just wanting to understand the law. never mind.. thank you in kind to those of you who did try to help.

My name appears in the divorce papers of my daughter. Does that mean I'm a party to the matter? Of course not.

You seem to believe that if she were innocent of <whatever> she'd answer the questions.

That's a completely illogical belief.

 

[stealth2]

With all due respect, I am paying the attorney, my money is being called into question, this is our lawsuit, and I DO have a dog in this case in that It is MY salary that is now covering that alimony that she lied and manipulated to receive since he has gone jobless... We are seeking proper channels to remedy this. he has asked me to ask the questions so that we are prepared mentally for what is coming. I don't see why it matters who is typing the question. I was under the impression this forum was for free advice about situations pertaining to how the law works.. Sorry if I was incorrect. We do have council and hopefully he will be able to answer the questions, however we don't have another appointment until the end of the week, this is very stressful and we are just seeking some advice on what to expect. I and he are very appreciative of anyone that can help us understand the laws, and what weight the interrogatories actually hold. Thank you.

Then you are a fool for paying for his legal fight. And he needs to retrieve his belongings from your purse.

 

[pearldrop]

My name appears in the divorce papers of my daughter. Does that mean I'm a party to the matter? Of course not.

You seem to believe that if she were innocent of <whatever> she'd answer the questions.

That's a completely illogical belief.

I'm not here to argue, really, that is for the attorneys.. I don't care if I'm a party to this or not.. It makes no difference.. really... Why do you feel so compelled to tell me this is not my problem... the issues you are all bringing up to me are irrelevant to the original question about interrogatories.. Legally this may not be my problem should I divorce him.. but that is irrelevant has nothing to do with the question. I came in here with him beside me and he asked me to ask the question about how the law works..as he himself is sitting here filling out all the questions to his interrogatories from that end....wondering what happens if she doesn't comply while he does... that is all we wanted to know....I did has he asked, was typing FOR him...why does it matter to you who typed it, does it change the question about interrogatories and what they actually mean?.. seems to me from what you are all saying it means nothing really... who is right, wrong, paying, scumbag, holier than thou, responsible or any of that has nothing to do with anything.

Why does it matter whose case it is?.. who cares WHO typed the question?.. it is a question, there is a lawsuit, there are interrogatories, it is his.. and mine by default if not legally.. about a lawsuit that we, and I will not apologize for using the term WE even if on a technicality HE is the one that needs to worry legally... . So ya'll made your points I'm an idiot, and incapable of understanding who's case it is, if it makes you feel better to make that point.. you can consider your mission accomplished. .. has nothing to do with the basic question I came to ask.

So.. she doesn't have to answer, fine. .. then why should we have to answer? what is the point of the dang things if no one answers just b/c they find it cumbersome or invasive to crap they are hiding... we are answering all they ask.. what they ask is intended to find money they think we have hidden and haven't turned over in full... we are happy to answer so that they can see that we are hiding nothing. I do not think it is illogical to assume the specific questions we know she won't want to answer is because she doesn't want to admit to the cover up she did in court the first go round... if she wasn't trying to manipulate the court.. her answers would free her if she has nothing to hide.



So thank you.. the answer did get revealed even if through a path of mess that was irrelevant.


Edited to add.. I in no way was coming to get everyone's feathers ruffled.... This is my husband, so it does make this my fight too, we are married now, what is mine is his and that is how I see a partnership and marriage, it does not make me a fool to help him, but you are entitled to your opinions. We have no issue doing what is right, and fair... and that sadly should go both ways, but doesn't. May you all have a great day and thank you again.