alimony - not negotiable?

[socalguy27]

What is the name of your state? CA

i am going through a divorce mediation. we had initially worked out mutually agreeable numbers for the spousal support. but now she wants the terms of the divorce to be worded so that it says that the alimony is not going to be negotiable under any circumstance.

the alimony numbers are the same as we worked out before, but the very fact that she has the part "not negotiable" added to the terms is making me think that there might be some positive changes in her income she is not telling me about.

i knew, that sometime soon, she would have a new work-contract in effect(that should state her responsibilities and monthly pay), so i requested that document - but she does not want to show that document to me. she says the only way she is going to show it is if we go to court for the divorce, and that if i did, she could get a lot more financially out of me.

i've heard court battles could be very expensive, and even if i ended up with having to pay lower alimony, that may be offset by the legal fees for the court. at the same time, it seems to me that she's sort of threatening me to accept her terms for alimony - i dont like that, but i want to be careful enough to be making a sound decision here.

Any advice on what I should do?
also, what happens if i sign the agreement now with the terms she wants, and later find out that she is making way more? (my suggestion was to add the terms that if there is a 50% or more increase in her paycheck, the alimony changes to a fixed lower amount, but she rejected that)

thank you for reading.

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

Spousal Support agreements, if warranted at all, are just that - - agreements, and they're like any other contract you would enter into, with terms and conditions. Her "condition" is not at all unheard of in the business.

But, why aren't you serving her with Discovery? Also, what makes you believe that Support is even warranted? What are HER facts of life? What are YOUR facts of life? How long was your marriage?

If you're doing this alone, without counsel, then more than likely you'll get screwed.

IAAL

[AlexandriaDumas]

Not sure what you mean by a divorce mediation. Who is mediating? Is it through the courts? Who is doing all the paperwork? Do you have a Dissomaster printout for spousal support? Have you both exchanged income and expense declarations and schedules of assets and debts? Have you both signed the declaration of disclosure, swearing under penalty of perjury that you have disclosed everything? Do you have the paragraph in your proposed stipulation about what happens if assets are not disclosed? California law is pretty cut and dried about splitting up your stuff unless you sign an agreement acknowledging that the division of property may not be equal.

Since she's put her foot down about having the "not negotiable" inserted in the part about spousal support, it really might pay to hire an attorney to, at a minimum, go over your paperwork and give you his/her opinion. It would probably only take about an hour of their time (say $350).

If you really feel that she's not being upfront about what she's making, subpoena her payroll records.

If you find out later that she's making more than she disclosed on a legal document, signed under penalty of perjury, yes, you can take her back to court, but why not get it right in the first place?

[000]

You shouldn't be attempting this without an attorney to look out for your best interests. Get a good divorce attorney. And go to court if needed. There is a possibility she wouldn't get ANY spousal support. I didn't because it was agreed in my facilitation by all the parties that I had a greater earning capacity than he did. Even though I don't make as much (that is my choice).

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

And, you'll notice that "socalguy27" hasn't bothered to come back to answer a few important, yet simple, questions; the answers which would help us to help him.

I guess he doesn't really need legal assistance.

IAAL

[000]

Well, I just looked at all the different threads and posts the OP has posted. Every time some little thing comes up in his divorce, he is on here getting everyone's feedback.

He should have hired an attorney from day one. This is no substitute for legal representation.

[socalguy27]

If you're doing this alone, without counsel, then more than likely you'll get screwed.
IAAL

Since she's put her foot down about having the "not negotiable" inserted in the part about spousal support, it really might pay to hire an attorney to, at a minimum, go over your paperwork and give you his/her opinion. It would probably only take about an hour of their time (say $350).
AlexandriaDumas

You shouldn't be attempting this without an attorney to look out for your best interests. Get a good divorce attorney.
000

-------------------------------------------------------------------


thanks to all three of you for the valuable advice and for raising some very good points.

all three of you have pointed out that I need to speak asap to an attorney ( i know some on this board ARE attorneys). shall get in touch with my counsel right away, and hopefully, that will help sort out the situation. the particular issue i posted above came up during the weekeed (she emailed me saturday) and i posted the message hoping to get some feedback here.

i realize, that those who posted replies are using their valuable time to help out, and I do appreciate that. I do need your help, and thank you for your support.