Alimony in short term marriage

[maddysmommy2008]

What is the name of your state? MS

What is the name of your state? MS

I know that generally alimony is not awarded in a short-term marriage, but are there ever circumstances where it is?

Here's my situation. My husband and I have been married for 4 years. I have a child from a previous marriage, who lives with me and my husband full-time.

My husband has 3 kids from a previous marriage. They also live with us full-time.

One week after my husband and I got married, I was laid off from my job. At that time, he was in the middle of a custody battle with his exwife to get custody of his kids. He asked me not to get another job bc he thought it would help his custody case if he could show that there would be an at-home full-time parent in his home.

He won custody of his three kids. He and I both decided that it would be best for the kdis if I didn't work. That way I would be able to attend all school functions, handle the day-to-day responsibilities of the household, etc.

I have not worked in 4 years. I think my husband and I are headed for divorce.

Is this a situation where a judge might award me alimony even though it was a short-term marriage? After all, I didn't work outside the home for 4 years at his request and insistance so that I could raise the 3 kids he has with another woman for him. Yes, I was able to spend more time with my daughter as well, but before he and I met, I always worked and I raised my daughter just fine while working full-time. I only didn't work for 4 years because it was what he wanted.

Thanks for any opinions.

 

[RicottaPie]

...

Do you need it to get on your feet? It sounds like being able to stay home was a good thing for you.

 

[Ohiogal]

You need to get a job OP. Seriously. You might get short term alimony but it will NOT be for very long.

 

[CourtClerk]

How much does your husband make?

 

[Bali Hai]

What is the name of your state? MS

What is the name of your state? MS

I know that generally alimony is not awarded in a short-term marriage, but are there ever circumstances where it is?

Here's my situation. My husband and I have been married for 4 years. I have a child from a previous marriage, who lives with me and my husband full-time.

My husband has 3 kids from a previous marriage. They also live with us full-time.

One week after my husband and I got married, I was laid off from my job. At that time, he was in the middle of a custody battle with his exwife to get custody of his kids. He asked me not to get another job bc he thought it would help his custody case if he could show that there would be an at-home full-time parent in his home.

He won custody of his three kids. He and I both decided that it would be best for the kdis if I didn't work. That way I would be able to attend all school functions, handle the day-to-day responsibilities of the household, etc.

I have not worked in 4 years. I think my husband and I are headed for divorce.

Is this a situation where a judge might award me alimony even though it was a short-term marriage? After all, I didn't work outside the home for 4 years at his request and insistance so that I could raise the 3 kids he has with another woman for him. Yes, I was able to spend more time with my daughter as well, but before he and I met, I always worked and I raised my daughter just fine while working full-time. I only didn't work for 4 years because it was what he wanted.

Thanks for any opinions.

It's time to reverse YOUR decision to stay home and get your ass back to work!!!

 

[Bali Hai]

How much does your husband make?

That question is only relevant IF there were to be an alimony award. There will be NO alimony award in this case!!

 

[maddysmommy2008]

It's time to reverse YOUR decision to stay home and get your ass back to work!!!

My ass is back to work, thank you. I have no problem working. I always worked until my husband asked me to stay home and raise HIS kids. They are NOT my kids. I love them dearly, but I am NOT their mom.

I started a job 2 weeks ago. The problem is, I had been out of the work force for 4 years, so the highest paying job I could find was only $10 an hour.

I've sat down and worked out a budget, and I can not afford rent, food, electricity, car note, insurance, etc. on a $10 an hour job. Period.

Had I not stayed home for 4 years, I'm sure I could have found a higher-paying job. And I'm sure that in a year or 2, I will be back up to the pay I was making when I was laid off.

I'm not trying to screw my husband here. All I was wanting was a little help from him while I get back on my feet and build my skills back up. I was thinking something along the lines or $300-$500 a month for a year or 2. Just long enough to "get my ass back to work." Which I've done. But I can't help that I don't have the skills and experience anymore.

I stayed home because he wanted me to. He wanted the little stay-at-home mom for his kids. I worked for him for FREE when he was starting a business, which failed miserably.

He now makes about $60,000 a year, to answer what someone asked. But I guess if I can't get alimony, that doesn't really matter. I guess these 4 years of running this house and raising his kids were free.

 

[RicottaPie]

Wait...

I thought your husband asked you to stay home. Then you say you were laid off. Which is it?

 

[CourtClerk]

I can't see a court ordering someone who only makes 60K a year to pay alimony on a short term marriage, where it was your decision to stop working and he already has 3 minor, dependant children to support from a previous relationship.

Where do you expect the money to come from. The man has to live and he has to feed and support those who are incapable of supporting themselves. I would be fighting you tooth and nail if I were him. You should get nothing.

If you were doing OK working and supporting yourself and your daughter on your income back before you were married, I imagine that wages haven't gone DOWN significantly in the last few years, you'll be fine again. Let the man alone.

As for the rest of this:

My ass is back to work, thank you. I have no problem working. I always worked until my husband asked me to stay home and raise HIS kids. They are NOT my kids. I love them dearly, but I am NOT their mom.

Regardless, it was YOUR choice to sit at home and raise HIS kids, which you so adamantly state are not YOURS. It was ultimately YOUR decision not to work, it was YOUR decision not to keep your skills updated, this is YOUR doing, because indentured servitude was outlawed a long time ago.

I started a job 2 weeks ago. The problem is, I had been out of the work force for 4 years, so the highest paying job I could find was only $10 an hour.

There are people in MS who are working and supporting a family on less than 10/hr. So downsize. Those people I'm SURE would be happy to take that $10/hr. Also, if you haven't, you need to pursue child support from the father of YOUR child, since your HUSBAND should have had no business supporting a child that wasn't HIS. YOUR child lived in HIS home, and ate the food HE provided, utilized the water, electricity, clothing and other necessities of life HE provided while your child's MOTHER was not working, SUPPORTING HER CHILD. HE had no obligation to support YOUR child. As you so eloquently stated, HE IS NOT HER FATHER.

I'm not trying to screw my husband here. All I was wanting was a little help from him while I get back on my feet and build my skills back up. I was thinking something along the lines or $300-$500 a month for a year or 2. Just long enough to "get my ass back to work." Which I've done. But I can't help that I don't have the skills and experience anymore.

I think if I were the judge, I'd give you a lump sum $500 for your babysitting services... that's it.

I stayed home because he wanted me to. He wanted the little stay-at-home mom for his kids. I worked for him for FREE when he was starting a business, which failed miserably.

You stayed at home because YOU wanted to. You could have said no. You could have continued to work. You wanted to be a little stay-at-home mom or you wouldn't have been one. You didn't work for free, you worked for food, shelter and the rest of those amenities that you were provided. You just got finished saying you can hardly afford it, so I know you know those things aren't free.

He now makes about $60,000 a year, to answer what someone asked. But I guess if I can't get alimony, that doesn't really matter. I guess these 4 years of running this house and raising his kids were free.

See above, you didn't work for free. You worked because he worked. You worked at home, he worked to keep you IN a home. Talk about ungrateful.

Please give your both husband my condolensces and my congratulations. First for marrying and putting up with you, and my congrats for finally being able to be free FROM you.

 

[CourtClerk]

I thought your husband asked you to stay home. Then you say you were laid off. Which is it?

Very good. I didn't catch that.

 

[Bali Hai]

My ass is back to work, thank you. I have no problem working. I always worked until my husband asked me to stay home and raise HIS kids. They are NOT my kids. I love them dearly, but I am NOT their mom.

I started a job 2 weeks ago. The problem is, I had been out of the work force for 4 years, so the highest paying job I could find was only $10 an hour.

I've sat down and worked out a budget, and I can not afford rent, food, electricity, car note, insurance, etc. on a $10 an hour job. Period.

Had I not stayed home for 4 years, I'm sure I could have found a higher-paying job. And I'm sure that in a year or 2, I will be back up to the pay I was making when I was laid off.

I'm not trying to screw my husband here. All I was wanting was a little help from him while I get back on my feet and build my skills back up. I was thinking something along the lines or $300-$500 a month for a year or 2. Just long enough to "get my ass back to work." Which I've done. But I can't help that I don't have the skills and experience anymore.

I stayed home because he wanted me to. He wanted the little stay-at-home mom for his kids. I worked for him for FREE when he was starting a business, which failed miserably.

He now makes about $60,000 a year, to answer what someone asked. But I guess if I can't get alimony, that doesn't really matter. I guess these 4 years of running this house and raising his kids were free.

That is correct, they were free for you but not free for him!! You had a free roof over your & your kids heads, free meals, likely free health insurance, free use of a car, free use of electricity and telephone, etc. etc. etc.

HE paid for all these free things you got and now you want a free ride because YOU decided not to work for 4 years!! If he kidnapped you and forced you into staying home against your will call the FBI!!

 

[Ohiogal]

My ass is back to work, thank you. I have no problem working. I always worked until my husband asked me to stay home and raise HIS kids. They are NOT my kids. I love them dearly, but I am NOT their mom.

True. So why did you stay home with them?

I started a job 2 weeks ago. The problem is, I had been out of the work force for 4 years, so the highest paying job I could find was only $10 an hour.

And? Many people make only minimum wage. During those four years you could have went to school or something. It only takes four years to get a Bachelor's degree.

I've sat down and worked out a budget, and I can not afford rent, food, electricity, car note, insurance, etc. on a $10 an hour job. Period.

Look at studio apartments. Look at a used car. Look at basic insurance. Heck maybe even take public transportation. You can afford that on $1600 a month. Plus child support from your child's father.

Had I not stayed home for 4 years, I'm sure I could have found a higher-paying job. And I'm sure that in a year or 2, I will be back up to the pay I was making when I was laid off.

You were laid off. Now the truth comes out.

I'm not trying to screw my husband here. All I was wanting was a little help from him while I get back on my feet and build my skills back up. I was thinking something along the lines or $300-$500 a month for a year or 2. Just long enough to "get my ass back to work." Which I've done. But I can't help that I don't have the skills and experience anymore.

Yes you can help that. YOU made decisions.

I stayed home because he wanted me to. He wanted the little stay-at-home mom for his kids. I worked for him for FREE when he was starting a business, which failed miserably.

And you apparently weren't fighting NOT to stay home.

He now makes about $60,000 a year, to answer what someone asked. But I guess if I can't get alimony, that doesn't really matter. I guess these 4 years of running this house and raising his kids were free.

How much rent did you have to pay? How much money did you give him for electric, water, gas, insurance, car note, food, -- should I continue?

 

[maddysmommy2008]

I thought your husband asked you to stay home. Then you say you were laid off. Which is it?

I thought my first post was pretty clear. One week after we got married, I was laid off. I started looking for other jobs, and was offered one making almost $17 an hour.

He asked me not to take it. So I was laid off AND asked to stay home. Gee, didn't think it was that difficult to understand.

Where do you expect the money to come from. The man has to live and he has to feed and support those who are incapable of supporting themselves. I would be fighting you tooth and nail if I were him. You should get nothing.
He gets almost $2000 a month in child support from his ex-wife. His kids are well supported. The house is paid for, as is his vehicle. He has almost no living expenses.

If you were doing OK working and supporting yourself and your daughter on your income back before you were married, I imagine that wages haven't gone DOWN significantly in the last few years, you'll be fine again. Let the man alone.
Try explaining a 4 year gap in employment. It doesn't make me look too stable, from an employers point of view. And you'd be suprised how much the wages HAVE gone down, especially since Katrina.

Also, if you haven't, you need to pursue child support from the father of YOUR child, since your HUSBAND should have had no business supporting a child that wasn't HIS. YOUR child lived in HIS home, and ate the food HE provided, utilized the water, electricity, clothing and other necessities of life HE provided while your child's MOTHER was not working, SUPPORTING HER CHILD. HE had no obligation to support YOUR child. As you so eloquently stated, HE IS NOT HER FATHER
ASSume much? Where did I ever state that I don't get child support for my daughter? I do. And no, he did not have an obligation to support my daughter. But he wanted to bc he wanted me home to take care of his house and his kids.

 

[RicottaPie]

You can't survive on $10/hr PLUS child support, at least until you find something better?

Leaving the work force for a few years to raise children does NOT a history of employment instability make. Most employers understand that perfectly.

 

[CourtClerk]

ASSume much?

No, I don't, which is why I said

if you haven't, you need to pursue child support from the father of YOUR child

which means if you hadn't done so, do so. If you have, then it doesn't apply to you.

No wonder why you can only make $10/hr. Reading comprehension isn't your strong suit.