What is the name of your state (georgia)?
I am seeking to end alimony based on Cohabitation with lover.
I am certain they are living together for a minimum of a year, she doesn't deny they are together, even her attorney does not deny they live together... and my adult children admit they are a couple.. and we have had her investigated. .. I have the proof needed for court.
During that year I lost my job, and went 7 months without pay, I (at the time was unaware of her living circumstances).. I communicated to her the hardship and informed her that I would be unable to pay her alimony until I found comparable job, but that I would do everything in my power to continue to pay all her credit cards 40k worth!(which was also part of the divorce agreement) to keep her credit good, and that I had every intention of making her whole on the alimony not paid once I was back on my feet. She conveyed that she understood the situation and was ok with this. .. I have since gotten another job and have begun paying her again.. the first couple of months it was lower than the order, I told her I would be sending more as I was paid more.. and it is documented well that while I did not send the full 3k/mo, that I DID send her money and DID in good faith start to increase her payments as I paid off the debt I had incurred during the 7 months I was not working... I can also show the courts that I can account for every penny spent during the months I was not paying her in full and show that while I may not have been able to pay her her monthly wage, I was doing everything I could to keep the credit afloat at the demise of mine, my bank accounts were going under, I had get loans from friends and family members to help, so that I didn't let her credit go .. Again, She was informed and agreed. .. I considered going to court to modify on hardships.. but didn't because I HONESTLY had every intention of making her whole as soon as possible, and I do believe that we can effectively argue this as it is evident I let MY credit go under before letting hers and I have the emails from her saying she understood, and it is obvious that once I began paying her, the I have increased it monthly trying to get back to her original... with the intention that once I got a bonus check it would be hers to cover the difference. I do not.. or at least would hope, that a judge will be able to see I was not trying to escape alimony and that I was in good faith trying to do everything possible.. in hindsight I wish I had notified the courts.. but honestly, I believed her when she said she would work with me, and I honestly had no Idea it would take me that long to gain good employment. ... hindsight is clear.. oh well.
SO.. fast forward to now, It came to light via social media she was back together with a boyfriend that she had been engaged to prior to our marriage. After months of investigating, we got the evidence that they had been living together since at least a year that we can prove, and we actually believe it was one month prior to our divorce being final... We also have proof now that she went to great lengths to hide her arrangement knowing that it would be grounds for me to seek to end alimony based on cohabitation laws in georgia..
So what we have here is a guy, that in good faith wanted to make sure she was ok.. but got in a financial situation that caused a bit of hardship, that I did everything in my power to keep her abreast of, I went without (and can show it) to cover as much of her stuff as possible.. and a woman here that was doing everything in HER power to cover up her situation so that she could continue to take money from me while living with her lover... this is not theory, we have lined up plenty of people who can testify to it. .. I really have been thorough with that.
So we have our first hearing.. she is countering my attempt to seek modification of alimony with a contempt of court charge for failure to comply with alimony and seeking all the money I did not pay while out of work. In the hearing they were nasty, they said they were pushing to take me to trial over this... (even though they were intentionally hiding they were cohabitating, which had I been aware, I would have been seeking to end alimony before the job situation ever even came to light)
Now, here's the thing.. we were both given interrogatories for the other sides.. I complied, turned over everything at the hearing.... she of course did not comply and turned in next to nothing... so my attorney is filing a motion to compel.
I have been completely compliant here, she also has a history of not complying.. she didn't comply with discovery during the divorce.. but again, I was naive and thought she had nothing to hide and it would be a waste of money to press... we are now discovering evidence to support that she was seeing this man before I ever moved out.. but that is another story.
So my question is this... I have been reading that different states seem to view cohabitation in different lights... and I do know that Georgia does have the "live in lover" law as grounds to terminate alimony.... .. Is anyone here familiar with the general tone of that in Georgia.?.. My attorney says he has never lost a case for terminating alimony based on cohabitation, and he had never gone into a case with as much evidence as me.. so that is comforting.. but we have a new judge that is new to family law..so we can't find out really how he rules on things yet.
We are filing a motion to compel with her, but in general, and I realize there are variable for everything.. but in general., .. how do the courts view people that refuse to answer the interrogatories?.. and they were very pertinent questions to the case.. simple things like .. WHEN did you begin living with this man, and do you share expenses... she can't argue to object on them being irrelevant to the case.
I do have council, but i am here because I feel that my attorney is not paying close attention to the details of my case, and he sends things to OC without me seeing them first and I just feel like I have no control over this and can't afford to lose, nor does it seem fair.. I just feel completely duped!.. I really am a good guy that was trying to do the right thing, and finding out she was intentionally scamming me has crushed me.. but I can't continue to be a doormat and I can't afford to keep paying her, heck I can't afford to do anything anymore.. I need some guidance.. and really just a little insight on what courts generally look at in situations like this.. are they black and white?.. or do they look at all the variables such as the paper trail that I kept showing my good faith to do the best I could... and the fact that she was intentionally decieving me to keep having money flow into their home?
What would You expect, what should I be doing.. I wish I could switch attorneys to one that is more communicative with me, but I frankly can't afford to jump ship at this point and feel uncertain as to my next move or expectations... What I am hoping is to end alimony and not owe her.. if anything I would hope the judge will look at the situation and realize that she was scamming me and award me retroactive alimony from the beginning of this cover up.. but I'd be happy to just be done. I just am shocked at how naive I've been in believing she was alone and sad and destitute and bending over backward , going without, and paying to the best of my ability while she and her boyfriend have been going on vacations, and opening a business!.. feeling really duped and needing an understanding of the laws and how judges view things.
I am seeking to end alimony based on Cohabitation with lover.
I am certain they are living together for a minimum of a year, she doesn't deny they are together, even her attorney does not deny they live together... and my adult children admit they are a couple.. and we have had her investigated. .. I have the proof needed for court.
During that year I lost my job, and went 7 months without pay, I (at the time was unaware of her living circumstances).. I communicated to her the hardship and informed her that I would be unable to pay her alimony until I found comparable job, but that I would do everything in my power to continue to pay all her credit cards 40k worth!(which was also part of the divorce agreement) to keep her credit good, and that I had every intention of making her whole on the alimony not paid once I was back on my feet. She conveyed that she understood the situation and was ok with this. .. I have since gotten another job and have begun paying her again.. the first couple of months it was lower than the order, I told her I would be sending more as I was paid more.. and it is documented well that while I did not send the full 3k/mo, that I DID send her money and DID in good faith start to increase her payments as I paid off the debt I had incurred during the 7 months I was not working... I can also show the courts that I can account for every penny spent during the months I was not paying her in full and show that while I may not have been able to pay her her monthly wage, I was doing everything I could to keep the credit afloat at the demise of mine, my bank accounts were going under, I had get loans from friends and family members to help, so that I didn't let her credit go .. Again, She was informed and agreed. .. I considered going to court to modify on hardships.. but didn't because I HONESTLY had every intention of making her whole as soon as possible, and I do believe that we can effectively argue this as it is evident I let MY credit go under before letting hers and I have the emails from her saying she understood, and it is obvious that once I began paying her, the I have increased it monthly trying to get back to her original... with the intention that once I got a bonus check it would be hers to cover the difference. I do not.. or at least would hope, that a judge will be able to see I was not trying to escape alimony and that I was in good faith trying to do everything possible.. in hindsight I wish I had notified the courts.. but honestly, I believed her when she said she would work with me, and I honestly had no Idea it would take me that long to gain good employment. ... hindsight is clear.. oh well.
SO.. fast forward to now, It came to light via social media she was back together with a boyfriend that she had been engaged to prior to our marriage. After months of investigating, we got the evidence that they had been living together since at least a year that we can prove, and we actually believe it was one month prior to our divorce being final... We also have proof now that she went to great lengths to hide her arrangement knowing that it would be grounds for me to seek to end alimony based on cohabitation laws in georgia..
So what we have here is a guy, that in good faith wanted to make sure she was ok.. but got in a financial situation that caused a bit of hardship, that I did everything in my power to keep her abreast of, I went without (and can show it) to cover as much of her stuff as possible.. and a woman here that was doing everything in HER power to cover up her situation so that she could continue to take money from me while living with her lover... this is not theory, we have lined up plenty of people who can testify to it. .. I really have been thorough with that.
So we have our first hearing.. she is countering my attempt to seek modification of alimony with a contempt of court charge for failure to comply with alimony and seeking all the money I did not pay while out of work. In the hearing they were nasty, they said they were pushing to take me to trial over this... (even though they were intentionally hiding they were cohabitating, which had I been aware, I would have been seeking to end alimony before the job situation ever even came to light)
Now, here's the thing.. we were both given interrogatories for the other sides.. I complied, turned over everything at the hearing.... she of course did not comply and turned in next to nothing... so my attorney is filing a motion to compel.
I have been completely compliant here, she also has a history of not complying.. she didn't comply with discovery during the divorce.. but again, I was naive and thought she had nothing to hide and it would be a waste of money to press... we are now discovering evidence to support that she was seeing this man before I ever moved out.. but that is another story.
So my question is this... I have been reading that different states seem to view cohabitation in different lights... and I do know that Georgia does have the "live in lover" law as grounds to terminate alimony.... .. Is anyone here familiar with the general tone of that in Georgia.?.. My attorney says he has never lost a case for terminating alimony based on cohabitation, and he had never gone into a case with as much evidence as me.. so that is comforting.. but we have a new judge that is new to family law..so we can't find out really how he rules on things yet.
We are filing a motion to compel with her, but in general, and I realize there are variable for everything.. but in general., .. how do the courts view people that refuse to answer the interrogatories?.. and they were very pertinent questions to the case.. simple things like .. WHEN did you begin living with this man, and do you share expenses... she can't argue to object on them being irrelevant to the case.
I do have council, but i am here because I feel that my attorney is not paying close attention to the details of my case, and he sends things to OC without me seeing them first and I just feel like I have no control over this and can't afford to lose, nor does it seem fair.. I just feel completely duped!.. I really am a good guy that was trying to do the right thing, and finding out she was intentionally scamming me has crushed me.. but I can't continue to be a doormat and I can't afford to keep paying her, heck I can't afford to do anything anymore.. I need some guidance.. and really just a little insight on what courts generally look at in situations like this.. are they black and white?.. or do they look at all the variables such as the paper trail that I kept showing my good faith to do the best I could... and the fact that she was intentionally decieving me to keep having money flow into their home?
What would You expect, what should I be doing.. I wish I could switch attorneys to one that is more communicative with me, but I frankly can't afford to jump ship at this point and feel uncertain as to my next move or expectations... What I am hoping is to end alimony and not owe her.. if anything I would hope the judge will look at the situation and realize that she was scamming me and award me retroactive alimony from the beginning of this cover up.. but I'd be happy to just be done. I just am shocked at how naive I've been in believing she was alone and sad and destitute and bending over backward , going without, and paying to the best of my ability while she and her boyfriend have been going on vacations, and opening a business!.. feeling really duped and needing an understanding of the laws and how judges view things.
